<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>If Walls Could Talk by boomerluke</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25101190">If Walls Could Talk</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/boomerluke/pseuds/boomerluke'>boomerluke</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>5 Seconds of Summer (Band), Youngblood - 5 Seconds Of Summer (Album)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anal Sex, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Romance, Ashton Has a Daddy Kink, Ashton is a jerk, Ashton is secretly romantic, Blowjobs, Coming Out, Coming Untouched, Daddy Ashton Irwin, Dom Ashton Irwin, Face-Sitting, Fluff and Smut, Graphic Description, Heartbreak, Hurt Luke, Lashton Hemwin, Luke Hemmings Loves Ashton Irwin, Luke Hemmings/Ashton Irwin Smut, Luke lives with ashton, Luke wears that one leopard jacket, M/M, Protective Calum Hood, Rimming, Romantic Fluff, Shameless Smut, Shy Luke, Smut, Smut Fic, Top Ashton Irwin, Valentine's Day Fluff, and Ashton starts salivating, but Ashton isn't gay, lots of anal sex, lukexashton, or so he says, this is mainly just angst and smut</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:29:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>43,735</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25101190</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/boomerluke/pseuds/boomerluke</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Ashton, when a person tells you that you hurt them you don't get to decide that you didn't." </p><p>Or the one where Luke and Ashton are friends with benefits, but Luke wants more and Ashton isn't gay.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ashton Irwin/Original Female Character(s), Luke Hemmings/Ashton Irwin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>89</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This was my first ever lashton fic, so go easy on me xoxo</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"Wow, these lyrics are... wow," Michael said, his eyes scanning over the small leather notebook clutched between his fingers. The title 'If Walls Could Talk' was scribbled messily across the top of the page in Luke's chicken scratch. Luke's heart was beating out of his chest as Calum and Michael examined the lyrics that the younger band member had written.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"This is incredible," Calum mumbled quietly, his eyebrows furrowing as he absorbed every single word.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yeah, it really is Luke," Michael agreed as he pinched his lip between his thumb and forefinger, eyes scanning the page. "Where did you come up with this?" Luke felt the heat rising to his cheeks, and he chanced a glance at the boys sitting across from him. His eyes lingered on the smirking drummer that hovered behind the couch. Just then Ashton looked up, meeting Luke's embarrassed gaze and sending the young guitarist a subtle wink. Images of Ashton's sweaty body filled Luke's mind, and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he remembered the way Ashton gripped his hips, long fingers digging into his soft skin as he thrust into Luke repeatedly. Gasps and moans echoed through his head.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yeah, Luke, what was your inspiration?" Ashton's teasing voice cut through his clouded thoughts, and he really hoped no one else noticed the cockiness in Ashton's tone.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I uh-" Luke started, tearing his eyes away from Ashton as to not draw any attention to the two of them. He could still feel Ashton's cold lips against his fiery skin and he prayed to God that the other boys wouldn't notice the tightening that was beginning to take place in the front of his jeans. "It just came to me I guess." </em>
</p><p>* * *</p><p>Luke couldn't remember exactly when it started, but he liked to believe that it began when he broke up with Arz. He had been in a dark place for a long time before the breakup, but when he finally called it quits with the young Instagram starlet, it seemed to be the straw that broke the camel's back. After a few weeks spent drowning his sorrows in tequila and Xanax and numerous bad headlines, the boys of 5 Seconds of Summer couldn't trust Luke to be left alone, and after a few heated arguments, Ashton volunteered to let Luke move in with him.</p><p>Luke and Ashton had never been the closest in the band. Everyone always thought that <em>Muke</em> and <em>Cake</em> were much better of a ship than <em>Lashton</em>. For the first four or so years of the band, Luke and Ashton had probably been the most distant of all the friendships, and neither boy knew exactly why. It wasn't that they didn't get along, they got along quite wonderfully, in fact. Luke had always just summed it up to the fact that he was shy. Luke was ungodly shy around new people, and even though he had known Ashton for years now, he still felt unbelievably nervous around the older boy.</p><p>Luke wasn't sure why Ashton of all people invited the struggling singer to live with him, and Luke wasn't sure why he found himself agreeing to it without a second thought. All he knew was that he just couldn't be alone, and no one else had offered. Michael and Crystal had just moved in together and Calum didn't have a spare room. So that just left Ashton.</p><p>Luke didn't want to be a burden, but Ashton had insisted. And anyway, it might even be a chance for the two of them to grow closer.</p><p>At the time, Luke had no idea just how close they would become.</p><p>It all started with small touches.</p><p>Both boys were grateful that the band was taking a creative break because it gave them plenty of time to become more familiar with their new situation, and they found themselves growing closer and closer every day. Luke and Ashton quickly settled into a routine. Ashton would often cook dinner for the two of them, and Luke was placed with the job of setting the table. Even though Ashton's kitchen was fairly large, both boys found themselves often bumping into each other as they maneuvered around the kitchen doing their respective jobs. Luke didn't think much of the touches at first, a hand on the waist here and there to move him out of the older boy's way, the occasional brush of a hand against the curve of his ass, the stroke of his fingers across Luke's face to rid him of a few loose curls... they just seemed like friendly accidents. </p><p>But then there were the times that Ashton would come home drunk and they definitely were not accidents.</p><p>Luke loved drunk Ash because he was smiley and giggly and, for a lack of a better word, <em>cute</em>. Luke would be curled up on the couch with a cup of coffee watching reruns of The Office, and Ashton would fumble through the front door, giggling as he tripped over his own feet. Luke loved drunk Ash, but sometimes Ash would get a little <em>too</em> friendly as he curled up next to Luke on the couch, brushing his hand teasingly across Luke's lap and snickering as he placed sloppy kisses to Luke's cheek.</p><p>Luke had always thought Ash was the most attractive in the band, but he was even more handsome when he was drunk. His usual hazel eyes would turn bright gold, lighting up the whole room. A rosy tint would cover his cheeks and his plump pink lips would be extra red from the vodka cranberries he loved so much.</p><p>Luke never thought much of his sexuality. He liked who he liked and that was the end of it. And as he began spending more time with his eldest band member, he quickly realized why he had always been so nervous around him. Luke liked Ashton. Sure, it was just a schoolgirl crush, but all the same, Luke quickly found himself beginning to blush at Ashton's soft touches and cheeky comments.</p><p>Luke knew nothing would come of his crush. They were friends. Friends that were in a band together. Never for a moment did Luke ever think anything would actually happen between them.</p><p>But boy oh boy, was he <em>wrong</em>.</p><p>It was six months into their new living arrangement and Luke was finally beginning to feel like his old self again. Everyone noticed the way he smiled a little wider, laughed a little louder, and how they stood a little closer. But still, no one looked twice at the newfound friendship. </p><p>As their time together progressed, so did the touches. What started as accidental brushes turned into deliberate touches, and Ashton's sloppy drunk kisses turned into domestic pecks on the cheek whenever Ashton would leave Luke's side.</p><p>At first, Luke didn't think anything of it. What were the chances that his supposedly straight bandmate would be into him too? It wasn't until they were hanging out one night, sprawled across their couches watching tv, that Luke knew something had changed. </p><p>He knew the moment the growl of <em>'fuck it'</em> left Ashton's lips. He knew the moment the older boy ripped himself up off of the loveseat he had been laid across and stalked towards Luke in determination. And he definitely knew the moment that Ashton climbed into his lap, pulling Luke up by the collar of his tee-shirt and hungrily pressed his lips against the younger boy's.</p><p>Luke wasn't sure the exact moment when things between him and Ashton shifted from friendship to something more, but he liked to believe it was way before the next morning when he woke up sore and throbbing from the night previously to find the other side of his bed cold and empty.</p><p>He couldn't put his finger on what exactly changed between him and Ash that night, but he knew that something had. </p><p>And he wasn't sure it was for the best. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been almost three months since the first night they spent together, and Luke still had no idea what to call what was happening between him and Ashton. </p><p>Every day he could feel himself falling harder and harder for the older boy, and all he wanted to do was shove his face in a pillow and scream until his lungs bled.</p><p>Ashton didn't like Luke the way that Luke liked Ashton. He knew that. </p><p>Luke was obsessed with Ashton's small giggles and the way he tucked his shirt into the front of his pants. He could stare for hours at the way his veins flexed in his forearms when he reached for something high in the cabinets or the way he'd stick out his tongue when he was concentrating extra hard. </p><p>Every little detail about Ashton drove Luke crazy. And every night when Ashton peeled the used condom off of his spent cock, tossed it haphazardly into the waste bin that Luke kept next to his bed, and left Luke's bedroom with a mumbled 'goodnight', Luke knew that Ashton couldn't possibly feel the same way. </p><p>"Hey." Ashton brought Luke out of his thoughts as the drummer entered their apartment, tossing his keys into the small bowl that they kept by the door and kicking off his shoes. Luke kept his focus on the small leather-bound book in his hands, a pen tapping against his plump bottom lip as he tried his hand at writing again for the first time in almost nine months. Luke hadn't picked up his notebook since the breakup, but he had been so bored all morning while Ashton was out with Michael, so he figured he might as well give it another shot. Unfortunately, all he'd been able to come up with were a couple scribbled lines about eating breakfast alone and empty beds.</p><p>"Hey," Luke smiled, closing the notebook and setting it down on the coffee table as Ashton made his way into the kitchen. "How was lunch?" He turned in his seat to face Ashton who was bent over, his beautiful ass swaying as he rummaged through the bottom shelf of the refrigerator and Luke had to bite his lip to keep from drooling.</p><p>"It was pretty good," Ashton said, finally standing up straight as he found his beer in the back of the fridge. "Of course Mike brought Crystal along. I mean don't get me wrong, I love her and all but I was third-wheeling hardcore as she was practically getting him off right there in the booth. Super uncomfortable." Ashton chuckled, plopping down on the sofa next to Luke and taking a swig from the bottle in his hand. Luke nodded, knowing exactly how handsy Michael and Crystal could get.</p><p>"Why do you think I turned down Mike's offer to tag along?" Luke said with a laugh as he crossed one of his long legs over his knee and leaned back, getting comfortable on the couch. Ashton just sighed, taking another swig before placing the now half-empty bottle down on the mahogany coffee table.</p><p>"So you just let me get all hot and bothered at lunch with them alone?" Ashton pouted, pretending to bat his eyelashes as he scooted closer to the young singer. Luke felt his breath hitch in his throat as Ashton ran a hand down Luke's arm, letting his nails scratch against Luke's exposed skin just the way he knew Luke liked it.</p><p>"Oh, so now you're into voyeurism, aye?" Luke teased, trying to lighten the mood as Ashton moved closer, attaching his lips to Luke's pale neck.</p><p>"What can I say," Ashton said lowly, his fingers trailing down the front of Luke's shirt and to the hem of it, sliding his hands under the thin fabric of Luke's teeshirt to feel his smooth skin. "I like to watch." Ashton accented the end of his sentence with a sharp nip at Luke's collarbone, and the younger boy threw his head back as a low moan escaped his lips. Ashton always knew exactly where to touch Luke to turn him into putty.</p><p>"Ash..." Luke whined, tangling his hands through Ashton's soft curls and tugging roughly. Ashton had always liked it rough, and in the last few months, Luke had learned exactly how to tug on Ashton's hair to make his toes curl and his pants tighten. Luke loved the way that Ashton bit his lip when he was turned on, and he felt the familiar desire building in his abdomen as Ashton rid Luke of his shirt, his large hands immediately dropping down to Luke's belt and fumbling with the buckle. Luke attempted to bring Ashton's attention back up to his lips, wanting nothing more than to taste the familiar twinge of mint and the hint of beer that was sure to stain Ashton's lips.</p><p>"None of that," Ashton grunted, swatting Luke's hands away from where they were attempting to cup Ashton's jaw and he quickly flipped Luke over so that he was face down against the sectional. "I just need you."</p><p>This is how it often went between the two, so Luke wasn't the least bit surprised when Ashton hurriedly pushed his jeans down his thighs and rid Luke of his own tight pants. Luke shivered at the thought of being completely naked beneath an almost fully dressed Ashton, but he knew that's exactly how the older boy liked it; he liked the control. Ashton pressed Luke into the couch and the blonde moaned as his cock came in contact with the soft suede. He loved the way the fabric of the couch deliciously pressed against his crotch, and he thrust his hips against the cushion for more friction. Ashton positioned himself behind Luke, and the young blonde desperately wished he could see him right about now. He could picture his hair slicked to his forehead with perspiration, chest heaving as he removed his boxers and stroked his impressive length.</p><p>"I'm so hard for you, Lu." Ashton's seductive whisper tingled next to Luke's ear and a shiver ran through his body. Ashton loved to do this. He loved to tease and toy with Luke, and Luke lived for it. He had a love/hate relationship with the way that Ashton could make him beg, make him moan and plead like no one else. He hated the way that Ashton withheld his orgasms from him until tears gathered in his eyes, only letting him come once Luke had thoroughly begged for it. But he sure loved the release that came with it. </p><p>All Luke could do was moan at Ashton's words, his mind blank as he concentrated on the pleasure that he was currently feeling. Ashton tugged on his cock a few more times, stroking himself to full hardness as he stared at Luke's delicious hole. Ashton loved Luke's ass. He had been with countless girls, but none could compare to Luke. The young guitarist hid it well, but he had a glorious ass. Luke's butt was incredibly round and full, often hidden by the tight jeans that flattened his ass and made his legs look ten miles long. Ashton thought that there was nothing more beautiful in this world than a naked Luke Hemmings with his face down and that mouth-wateringly plump ass in the air.</p><p>"Ash," Luke breathed out as Ashton gripped his hips and pulled his ass up higher. "Please, just fuck me." Ashton loved to hear Luke beg for his cock, he loved the way Luke's puffy lips whispered his name. He loved the way that Luke's cock sprung up against his stomach and twitched at the slightest touch, and he especially loved the way Luke's beautiful ass pushed back against Ashton's cock when he fucked him.</p><p>Ashton found himself nodding, not having the energy to tease Luke any more as he wished for nothing else than to be buried balls deep inside his younger band mate. He spread Luke's cheeks, groaning at the delicious image of Luke's pink hole fluttering at contact with the cool air of the apartment. Ashton had never been more grateful that Luke was still stretched out from their romp in the sheets late last night because the last thing Ashton wanted to do when he was this turned on was spend time opening the blonde up. Ashton was in no mood for foreplay tonight, he just needed to fuck the blonde guitarist until his throat was raw from screaming Ashton's name.</p><p>With a growl, Ashton wasted no time in grabbing the base of his cock, spitting in his hand and covering his thick length in saliva for lubrication. They'd run out of lube last night and of course Ashton had forgotten to pick up a new bottle while he was out. </p><p>The tip of Ashton's cock pressed against Luke's twitching hole and Luke pushed his hips back. The drummer's cock began to disappear as he entered Luke, both boys moaning at the feeling of being conjoined once more.</p><p>"God, I missed this." Ashton sighed as he finally bottomed out, cock fully engulfed in Luke's heat.</p><p>"We literally had sex last night you horny prick," Luke said with a whine as he worked to ignore the burning stretch of Ashton's girth. It took a couple moments, but Luke eventually wiggled his hips and groaned in pleasure as he fully adjusted to Ashton's long cock as it brushed up against his prostate. Ashton didn't respond, choosing instead to grip Luke's hips roughly between his calloused drummer hands and pulling his length out to the tip before slamming back in. Mumbles of pleasure fell from their lips as they quickly got into a rhythm, Ashton's hips snapping forward as Luke's ass pushed back.</p><p>"Fuck, I'm so glad we decided to get tested last week, can't believe what I was missing." Ashton groaned out against Luke's shoulder as the tight warmth of the singer's ass sent a shiver up his spine. Luke nodded in agreement, whining at how good it felt to feel every bump and ridge of Ashton inside of him.</p><p>They kept this going, Luke fucking himself on Ashton's cock and Ashton panting dirty nothings in Luke's ear as he thrust his hips to meet Luke's. The sound of Ashton's pelvis pounding against the supple skin of Luke's ass echoed through the empty apartment, and both boys moaned as the tip of Ashton's dick pressed tantalizingly against Luke's prostate.</p><p>"God, Luke," Ashton moaned loudly as he threw his head back, his cock twitching dangerously inside Luke as the tension in his stomach began growing. "Do you see what you do to me? Fuck, I'm already so close. Got me feeling like I'm fifteen again with that tight ass of yours. Gonna come for you, baby." Luke loved the way that Ashton always knew exactly what to say to make him fall apart, and within minutes, Luke could feel his orgasm barreling towards him.</p><p>"G-gonna come, Ash," Luke said as his hand snaked down between his trembling legs to grip at his throbbing member. Ashton picked up his pace as the younger boy flicked his wrist up and down his length faster, occasionally twisting each time his fingers ran over his rosy tip. Ashton could feel his balls tighten as his orgasm neared its peak, and he slammed into Luke one final time as the guitarist's hole tightened around Ashton's cock in a vice grip. "Ashton!" Luke yelped, his trembling legs finally giving out as his hot seed spurted out over his closed fist and the couch cushion. The wave of pleasure shocked Luke to his very core as Ashton stilled inside of him, and he moaned as he felt the hot spurts of Ashton's come fill his tight hole.</p><p>As Ashton's orgasm rocked his body, he too fell spent against the couch, laying his chest flat against Luke's back and sighing in contentment. Both boys laid there for a few minutes, sucking in deep lungfuls of air as they attempted to get their breathing back under control. Every muscle of Luke's body was sore, and he felt the weight of sleepiness pressing down against his shoulders. Luke basked in the intimate contact of Ashton's skin against his own. It wasn't often that Ashton showed him any sort of affection outside of sex, so he savored every second of contact that he had. </p><p>It was almost like Ashton could read Luke's mind, and just as Luke cuddled closer to Ashton's chest, the older drummer cleared his throat and pulled himself off of the younger boy. Luke shivered at the loss of body heat as the cool air of the apartment once again washed over his flushed body.</p><p>"Well," Ashton said, pulling his boxers up his legs, "that was fun." Luke smiled halfheartedly as he flipped around on the couch so that he was propped up on an elbow, gazing over at the older boy as he picked back up his now lukewarm beer and took a hefty sip.</p><p>"Yeah," Luke said with a chuckle, picking back up his own shirt and tossing it over his head. A comfortable silence fell between the two as Luke finished getting redressed and Ashton scrolled through Instagram.</p><p>"Wanna order a pizza?" Ashton's voice cut through the silence a couple of minutes later once Luke had returned to his spot on the couch, scrolling through his phone. A giggle escaped Luke's parted lips and he rolled his eyes.</p><p>"Didn't you just get lunch not even two hours ago?"</p><p>"Yeah," Ashton shrugged, pulling up the number to the nearest pizza place and pressing the phone against his ear before turning towards the younger boy with a devilish smirk. "but fucking your pretty little ass always works up my appetite."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"C'mon, Ash, stop," Luke whined as Ashton wrapped his arms around the taller man and bent down to kiss up the length of his neck. Luke could feel Ashton's hard cock pressing between the cleft of his ass and as much as he tried not to, Luke couldn't help the moan that escaped his lips. "the guys are going to be here literally any minute." Luke tried to wriggle out of Ashton's grasp, but to no avail. Ashton pressed himself harder against Luke's back and the younger man's eyes rolled back at the pleasure.</p><p>Michael and Calum were supposed to be coming over to their apartment for dinner and some pre-club drinks since it was a Friday night, and the last thing Luke needed was for his best mates to walk in on him and Ashton in a position that would be <em>seriously</em> hard to explain away.</p><p>"But I'm horny." Ashton pouted, beginning to suck on the base of Luke's neck. "Please, Lu? It'll be quick, I swear." Luke felt his tough resolve fading as Ashton sucked on his neck, his tongue soothing the bruised skin.</p><p>"You're not capable of being quick, Ash." Luke quipped as he finally got free of Ashton's teasing restraint and walked into his bathroom to look in the vanity mirror over the sink.</p><p>"Are you serious?" Luke whined as he stared at the red patch that was glowing against the otherwise translucent skin. "Mike and Cal are on their way over! How am I supposed to explain THIS?" Luke groaned as he jabbed at the dark red spot, and rolled his eyes as he looked up to see Ashton's smirk through the mirror. "I'm serious, Ash. You know they're going to ask about how this happened."</p><p>"So? Just tell them you went out and brought a girl home last night." Ashton placed his hands on Luke's hips and pressed his back against the younger man. "and if you want to make it seem really realistic, I could fuck you from behind and leave some scratch marks down your back?" Ashton wiggled his eyebrows cheekily as he nipped at Luke's earlobe and the blonde groaned once more as he felt his dick tightening in his skin-tight jeans. Just as Luke felt his resolve slip away and he leaned back into Ashton's body, the door opened and Michael's loud voice rang through their home.</p><p>"Luke? Ash? Stop jerking each other off and come greet your guests!"</p><p>Luke couldn't help the blush that raised on his cheeks at just how un-knowingly close Mike was to the truth.</p><p>"For fucks sake." Ashton groaned as he dropped his head down on to Luke's shoulder. "This isn't over." He said with authority as he locked eyes with Luke through the mirror. "I'll go first. You fix yourself up and meet us out there in a few minutes." Ashton brushed Luke's long hair off to the side and kissed at the nape of his neck before straightening up and stalking out of the room.</p><p>Luke could feel the blood pounding through his veins from the close call of almost getting caught and the feeling of Ashton's cool lips against his neck.</p><p>Luke listened on as he heard Ashton greet their friends enthusiastically, and he could picture the older boy smiling goofily as he embraced their bandmates in a large bear hug. Luke was always so amazed at the way that Ashton could switch from horny and dominant to silly and laid back in a matter of seconds when it took Luke two hours and a cold shower just to lose his erection. </p><p>Luke took his time splashing some cold water on his face and readjusting his semi-hard dick in his pants before leaving the bathroom. He ran his hands through his hair as he walked, pushing it back and away from his forehead. Maybe if he mussed up his curls enough he could make it pass for bed head? After all, he was flushed and delirious enough for it to seem realistic that he had just woken from a nap. As Luke turned the corner into the living room, he was immediately greeted with the sight of his three bandmates sitting around the sectional with beers clutched in their hands. They were laughing over some joke Ashton was in the middle of telling.</p><p>"Hey," Luke said, pretending to stretch. "Sorry, took a nap, what'd I miss?" Michael and Calum each stood up, fist-bumping and hugging Luke before he took a seat next to Calum on one of the couches.</p><p>"Dude, a nap? You sleep till noon each day, how could you possibly be tired enough to nap?" Michael asked incredulously as he took another swig from his bottle, his bracelets pushing up his wrist as he did so. Luke had always been a shitty liar, he knew that, but before he even had the chance to come up with some sort of decent excuse, he heard Calum gasp before a hand reached out and tugged down Luke's shirt collar to expose his hickey-covered collarbones.</p><p>"Jesus Christ!" Calum said with a laugh, pretending to closely examine the marks as Luke's eyes widened in panic. The only thing running through Luke's head was a mantra of <em>Don'tlookatAshtonDon'tlookatAshtonDon't- </em></p><p>He knew this was bound to happen, damn Ashton for being a territorial asshole. He knew it was a major kink of Ashton's, but sometimes he was so reckless with it and Luke was terrified he was going to get them caught. He was definitely not ready for that to happen any time soon.</p><p>"He must be exhausted, looks like Luke got laid!" Calum patted him on the back proudly as he finished off the last of his own bottle. "Good for you mate, it's about time. But what did she do, try and eat you or something? Calum joked as he poked at the large expanse of bruises and bite marks that littered Luke's skin. Luke couldn't help but blush as the image of Ashton the previous night, his face buried deep between Luke's ass cheeks, sprang to his mind.</p><p>"Yeah," Luke chuckled, readjusting his shirt to hide the collection of love bites. He chanced a glance over to Ashton to see the drummer smirking like a boy who'd just discovered Pornhub. "Something like that." </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter Three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The bass was pounding in Luke's ears the moment they walked into the packed club, and he wanted nothing more than to turn around and just go home. He wasn't in a partying sort of mood, and he'd much rather just be cuddled up with Ashton on their couch watching some dumb action movie that the older boy loved. The thumping of the bass hadn't stopped once the entire hour that they had been there so far, and Luke was beginning to develop a headache as he sat with Calum in a reserved booth in the back of the club. The headache, coupled with the fact that Ashton was out on the dance floor grinding against some bleached blonde tramp, had managed to sour what Luke thought would be an okay evening out with his best mates, and now all he wanted to do was excuse himself to go cry in one of the bathroom stalls.</p><p>Luke knew he was always Ashton's second choice. If Ashton couldn't pick up an attractive woman at the bars on the weekend, he would come home wasted and slide into bed with Luke. He knew he was being used by his older bandmate, but he just couldn't stop it from happening. Luke was weak when it came to Ashton.</p><p>"Hey," Calum said as he reached out to stop Luke from ripping the paper label of his beer bottle to complete shreds. "What's up with you? You've been really off lately, I thought things were starting to get better..." Calum said as he looked at Luke with concern in his large brown eyes. The truth was, things <em>had</em> been getting better for Luke. A lot of the anxiety and depression he had been battling when he was with Arz had slowly begun to edge to the back of his mind, and he found himself worrying less and less about the things that he had no control over. But even though things had gotten better, that didn't stop certain things from getting worse, like his feelings for Ashton.</p><p>"I'm fine," Luke said as he took another swig from his bottle and set it back down on the wooden table. "Never been better." Luke chanced a glance over toward the dance floor where he could see Ashton, his large hands that would grip Luke's cock were now wrapped around the petite waist of the drunk blonde and his devilish mouth was latched on her neck.</p><p>Luke could feel the jealousy bubbling up in his gut and he snapped his head to look in the opposite direction as he made eye contact with a smirking Ashton.</p><p>"Well now I know that's a fucking lie. What's up, dude? Did something happen between you and Ash?"</p><p>"Why would you ask that?" Luke snapped at his best mate, his eyes darting over to lock with Calum's. "No. Nothing happened, we're fine." Calum just shrugged, taking a sip out of his own glass of whiskey sour.</p><p>"You've just seemed weird around him recently, I don't know. I just thought maybe you guys got in a fight or something. You know how it can get living together after a while."</p><p>"Nothing happened between us, okay? I'm just tired."</p><p>"Hey, no one will judge you if you're sick of living with Ash, we all get a little cabin fever after being together too long. Remember the time I didn't talk to Michael for a week because of the way he ate the Doritos? Fucking annoying I swear I-"</p><p>"Would you just <em>give it a rest, Cal</em>!" Luke said with a huff as he pushed away from the table and brushed past Michael who was making his way back from the bar.</p><p>"The hell is his problem?" He heard Michael ask Calum and he became increasingly annoyed with his friends' nosiness. Luke didn't understand why Calum always had to <em>push</em>. Sure, deep down he knew that it was just Calum trying to be a good friend, but Luke hated Calum's intrusiveness because more than anything he <em>did </em>want to talk to someone. He wanted nothing more than to confide in his childhood best friend, break down in his arms, and just scream in frustration. But he couldn't. Not without risking the band of course, and whatever the hell was going on with Ashton.</p><p>Luke pushed his way through the crowd and into the hazy bathroom. His head was already spinning, and the smoke from the vapes people were puffing was not helping in the slightest. He leaned over the counter, his white knuckles protruding from under his pale skin as he gripped the countertop. His chest was aching. Luke hated how he felt about Ashton. He knew he had no right to be upset that Ashton was dancing with some girl. It's not like they were official... or anything at all for that matter.</p><p>Luke hated that he wouldn't have even thought twice about the way Ashton was dancing with that girl a year ago, but more than anything, he hated that it was Ashton's fault that he felt this way. Ashton was the one who had started this, <em>thing, </em>they had going on, and Luke was certain that had Ashton never made the first move, he wouldn't be so heartbroken over his best mate right now.</p><p>Just as Luke had begun to calm down, a pair of strong arms wrapped themselves around his waist from behind. He froze up instantly. Luke didn't have to look up at the mirror to know who those arms belonged to. He could never forget the feeling of those arms wrapped around his waist... wrapped around his thighs... wrapped around his chest...</p><p>"Hey," Ashton said with a twinkle in his voice as he gave Luke a glazed over smile through the mirror. Luke could smell the cheap perfume that clung to Ashton's shirt and cringed at the pink lipstick that littered his neck and jaw.</p><p>"Hi," Luke whispered, eyes locking with Ashton's through the mirror. He could feel Ashton hard against his ass, but he tried his best to ignore it, and instead focused his attention on the smeared lipstick that painted Ashton's skin. That was, until Ashton began to kiss down Luke's neck. "Ashton, stop." Luke said as he attempted to wriggle out of the older boy's grasp.</p><p>"What's the problem, baby?" Ashton pouted with a giggle, his bloodshot eyes working hard to focus on Luke. "You usually love it when I kiss you here." Ashton said in a seductive whisper, dropping his finger down to trace along Luke's jugular. Luke gulped as Ashton's finger swirled along his collarbones that were exposed. "or here." Ashton said with a hum as he continued tracing his finger along Luke's skin, watching through the mirror as Luke shivered at his touch. "God I love what I can do to you." Ashton whispered in Luke's ear as he bit at his earlobe, and Luke once again felt his resolve slipping. He was about to close his eyes and give in to Ashton's touch when he spotted a smattering of hickeys that had been left in the crook of Ashton's neck, hickeys that he hadn't made. His stomach clenched at the thought of Ashton with anyone else, especially that trampy blonde, and Luke ripped himself away from the older man's enticing touch.</p><p>"Not now, Ash, really. I'm not in the mood, I'm serious." Luke argued as he pushed Ashton's hands away.</p><p>"You're no fun." Ashton said with a pout on his cherry red lips and crossed his arms, looking like a seven year old who's mom wouldn't buy them candy. Luke rolled his eyes, his irritation growing every second as he stood talking to Ashton. He just wanted some time alone to clear his head of all things related to the stupid drummer.</p><p>"Yeah, well, I'm sure that blonde is a lot more fun. Why don't you go fuck her instead?" Ashton's look of confused sadness turned into understanding, a smirk tugging on his lips as he finally realized what had Luke in such a mood.</p><p>"Aw, is my baby boy jealous?" Ashton cooed as he stalked closer to the young singer until they were standing nose to nose in the middle of the bathroom.</p><p>"Seriously Ashton, stop." Luke said, agitation wavering in his voice, "Just stop messing with me. I'm over it. " Ashton's eyes softened at Luke's words, and he could tell that Ashton was letting them roll around inside his head as he tried to make sense of what Luke really meant by 'over it'. He could tell he'd actually hurt the older boy this time, and a part of Luke couldn't help but feel proud about it. After all the hurt Ashton had caused Luke, now it was his turn.</p><p>"Luke, I-" Ashton started to say, but the bathroom door swinging open paused their conversation. Both boys leaped apart as Michael came strolling in, a look of confusion on his face when he saw his two bandmates staring each other down in the middle of the bathroom.</p><p>"I, uh, am I interrupting something?" Michael asked as he looked to Luke in confusion. Luke shook his head, letting one of his hands raise up to run through his tousled curls.</p><p>"No. Absolutely nothing." Luke spit out in Ashton's direction, and Ashton narrowed his eyes as Luke turned on the heels of his glittery black boots and headed towards the door. "Michael, I'm not feeling too well, would you drive me home?" Luke asked as he approached the door, refusing to turn around and face either of his best friends.</p><p>"Yeah, of course dude, let me just go grab my keys from Cal," Michael said as he took one final glance between his two friends before he slipped past Luke and exited the bathroom. He wasn't sure what was going on between the two roommates, but he could feel the tension in the air and he wanted to get away from them before it bubbled over. There was once again silence as the two lovers stood in the bathroom of the dingy club, the loud bass shaking the walls around them. Luke took one final deep breath before he put his hand on the door handle and pulled it open, letting the loud club music fill the room.</p><p>"Oh, Luke?" Luke paused, turning back just enough to see that Ashton was standing in front of the mirror and examining the hickeys the girl had left along his neck. He didn't even like that annoying blonde he had been dancing with, but he had noticed how worked up it made Luke, so he played along.</p><p>He knew Luke didn't mean what he said. Luke was just overreacting, he could never be done with Ashton, he fucked Luke too well for him to give it up cold turkey. Ashton knew it was just a matter of time before Luke was back in his bed. "Don't wait up, okay? Gonna go see if that blonde is up for a good time tonight."</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter Four</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Luke wasn't sure why he continued to put up with Ashton's shit. He had no idea why he would cry himself to sleep over being rejected by Ashton one night and find himself the next day pushed up against the glass door of his shower by the devil himself. All he knew is that he was addicted. Luke Hemmings was addicted to Ashton Irwin and there was nothing he could do to stop it.</p><p>"You know I didn't mean to hurt you," Ashton whispered in his ear as he wrapped his arms around Luke's naked waist. Luke stiffened as he let the scalding water cascade over his bare body. He shivered as Ashton ghosted his lips up along his neck. Luke hadn't heard Ashton get home this morning, let alone him enter the bathroom and strip to join Luke in the shower.</p><p>"When did you get home?" Luke tried to sound casual and uncaring as he grabbed the shampoo from the shelf, beginning to slather it through his long hair. He felt Ashton shrug against his back in reply.</p><p>"A couple of minutes ago, and man, do I need a shower." Ashton teased as he reached over Luke's shoulder and plucked the body wash off of the shelf.</p><p>"Oh," Luke said as he shut his eyes and continued to lather the cucumber scented soap through his hair. He didn't want to think about how Ashton had spent his night. After the club, Luke found himself home alone and curled up in bed wondering what <em>she </em>had that Luke himself didn't. He had felt unwanted and worthless and <em>ugly</em> and it was all Ashton's fault. Luke hated the control Ashton had over him. He hated that Ashton could make him feel this way at the drop of a hat. But most of all, he hated the way that he could never truly stay mad at him.</p><p>"Hey," Ashton said, spinning the younger boy around to face him so that they were once again gazing into each other's eyes. Ashton could see the hurt that Luke was trying to hide. It was fresh and clear in his beautiful blue eyes. As much as he thought he could hide it, Ashton had always been able to read Luke like a book. Luke looked away, focusing his gaze over Ashton's head and the drummer frowned, jutting out his bottom lip in the way he knew drove Luke crazy. "What? No good morning kiss?"</p><p>Every bone in Luke's body screamed for him not to give in. He was mad at Ashton, he couldn't show his weakness now. One of Ashton's hands went to the back of Luke's neck, toying with the hair at his nape as he pulled the younger boy in closer, their lips brushing ever so softly. Luke inhaled at the feeling as the familiar rush of adrenaline coursed through his veins. He hated how easily his body gave in to Ashton. Even as his mind screamed at him not to, Luke closed the distance between the two men and pressed his lips against Ashton's, eliciting a groan from the older boy as he sucked on Luke's plump bottom lip.</p><p>"Mmm," Ashton moaned as he pulled away from Luke with a triumphant smirk. "I knew you couldn't stay mad at me." Ashton chuckled as his grip on the back of Luke's neck tightened and his free hand slid down to grasp at the skin of Luke's waist. Ashton brought his mouth close to Luke's ear, and a shiver ran through Luke's body as Ashton's hand squeezed his hip tighter. "Just so you know, you are a much better fuck than she was," Ashton bit down on Luke's earlobe, sending a gasp flying out of the blonde's mouth. Luke shivered at Ashton's touch under the hot water, feeling the familiar ache build between his legs as his cock stiffened.</p><p>Ashton noticed Luke's reaction and smirked against his ear. His hand that gripped Luke's hip moved lower until he was teasing his fingers along Luke's length.</p><p>"How about I make it up to you, baby boy?" Ashton whispered huskily in Luke's ear as his fingers began to add more pressure as they ran up and down his hardened dick. "Do you want me to suck that pretty cock of yours?"</p><p>Luke moaned in response, nodding his head impatiently as Ashton continued to tease Luke's erection. It wasn't often that Ashton volunteered to give Luke a blowjob. It was usually Luke blowing Ashton, so he knew the older man must have really felt bad about what he did if he was willing to make it up to Luke by getting on his knees.</p><p>"Do you want my mouth, Luke? Is that what you want? Answer me." Ashton demanded as he wrapped his large hand around Luke's length and began stroking it roughly.</p><p>"Y-yes, Ash." Luke moaned as Ashton flicked his thumb over the leaking slit. "P-please suck me, I need you so bad." Luke hated it when Ashton made him beg. It made him feel cheap and dirty and used, but he knew that was exactly what Ashton liked about it, so he went along with it.</p><p>"Well, since you asked so nicely," Ashton said with an evil gleam in his eye as he fell to his knees, pressing Luke back against the cool glass door of the shower. "Hold on baby boy." One of Luke's shaking hands traveled down to wrap in Ashton's hair as the other wound around the door handle for support. It would only be a matter of minutes until he was a trembling mess under Ashton's skillful tongue.</p><p>"Fuck, Ash," Luke whined as Ashton blew cool air against his throbbing slit, and he let his head fall back against the glass. One of Ashton's calloused hands pressed Luke's hip back against the door to still his hips from thrusting into his mouth like they were begging to do. The other hand engulfed Luke's cock and began stroking the guitarist, up and down, up and down. Ashton occasionally ran his thumb over Luke's red slit to gather up the precum that had already begun to leak out, and Luke gasped.</p><p>Just when Luke thought he couldn't take any more of the teasing, Ashton's pink tongue darted out and began kitten licking Luke's tip the way that he loved. "Oh my god," Luke moaned as he exhaled through his nose. He knew if Ashton kept it up, he was going to come at a ridiculously embarrassing speed. No one and Luke meant <em>no one, </em>had ever managed to get him worked up as quickly as Ashton did. The drummer seemed to know exactly how to hollow his cheeks and roll his tongue around to make Luke's toes curl and his eyes widen. There was no doubt that Ashton could give an incredible blowjob, and Luke never passed up an opportunity to be on the receiving end of it.</p><p>"You taste so good, Lu," Ashton said as he pulled his mouth from Luke's delicious cock, licking his lips before <em>finally</em> taking Luke completely into his hot mouth. Luke groaned and gasped as Ashton hollowed out his cheeks and sucked harder, letting his tongue graze against the underside of Luke's shaft.</p><p>"Ashton, fuck, I-" Luke panted as he gripped Ashton's hair tighter between his fingers, unable to finish his sentence as he felt his balls begin to constrict. His head was swimming and spots began to cloud his vision before they were torn away from him when Ashton removed himself from Luke's shaft. "Ashton, please!" Luke cried out, not even caring about how desperate he must have looked, a shaking moaning mess as tears gathered in his eyes. He knew how much Ashton loved to tease the younger boy, but he couldn't take it anymore. He wanted more than anything for Ashton to wrap his beautiful lips around him and suck the living soul out of him. Just when Luke thought he was actually going to start crying at the withheld orgasm, Ashton finally gave in, sucking Luke harder than ever before.</p><p>In a matter of minutes, Luke was right at his peak again, dangling on the edge and waiting to plummet into the precipice of unbelievable pleasure. He was so close, but he couldn't quite get there, not from Ashton's mouth alone. As if reading his thoughts, Ashton quickly ripped his mouth away from Luke, spitting into his hand before reattaching his beautiful lips to Luke's cock. His spit coated fingers quickly reached up and pushed between Luke's cheeks, circling around his tight hole before pushing two of them in, and a moan fell from both boys' lips at the rough entrance. Luke was so goddamn tight, Ashton couldn't wait to be buried balls deep inside him.</p><p>Ashton loved sex, and he'd take it any chance he got, but no one had ever compared to Luke. No one had ever made him feel the way Luke could. He would pick Luke over a girl any day of the week... not that he was gay or anything. No, Ashton Irwin was most definitely <em>straight. </em>He just liked fucking Luke and he didn't see anything wrong with that.</p><p>"A-ash," Luke cried as he came, his muscles clenching around Ashton's fingers and his warm seed pulsing in ribbons along the length of Ashton's tongue.</p><p>Luke's heavy pants began to slow as he recovered from his high, the spots in his vision diminishing as Ashton removed his fingers. Luke was completely spent, and he was grateful when Ashton got to his feet and wrapped his strong arms around Luke's waist to keep him standing on his wobbling legs. The water had since run cold, and Luke was shivering as Ashton turned off the water, keeping one arm secured around Luke's waist the entire time.</p><p>"Let's warm you up, baby boy." Ashton murmured as he pulled open the shower door and grabbed Luke's towel off of the hook. He quickly wrapped it around the younger boy and guided him out of the bathroom. Ashton helped Luke back into his bedroom, pushing his shoulders down so that Luke was sitting on the bed as he rummaged through Luke's drawers for fresh pajamas. He pulled out a ratty old sweatshirt and a pair of pajama pants he recognized as his own from Luke's drawer. Ashton walked over to Luke, tugging on the towel from his waist and helping him into the clothes.</p><p>Luke's chest warmed in adoration at the way in which Ashton cared for him, and he realized at that moment that <em>this </em>is why he did it. Moments like this were the reason why Luke continued to put up with Ashton's shit. </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter Five</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Luke and Ashton had officially been living together for nine months, and Luke knew that sooner or later the fantasy bubble was going to pop. As angry, and frustrated, and annoyed as Ashton made Luke by leaving his dirty towels on the floor and pans in the sink, Luke was going to miss living with the older drummer. Luke loved the way that Ashton would leave him little notes on the fridge when he would go out for the day, or the way he would sneak into the bathroom while Luke was taking showers and draw little smiley faces in the fogged-up mirror. There was so much that Luke was going to miss when he moved back to his own place, and he was afraid that when he moved out, whatever was between him and Ashton would come to an end with Luke's lease.</p><p>"Hey, Ash," Luke said with as much casualty as he could muster. Ashton grunted in reply, eyes never tearing away from the soccer game. "So, I've been staying here for a while now, and you know like," Luke rambled on, fiddling with the rings on his fingers as he tried to figure out the best way to broach the topic. "I just don't want to overstay my welcome..." Luke trailed off lamely, a blush rising up his neck as he realized just how little sense he made. Ashton wasn't the brightest bulb of the bunch, and even though he was the only one of the guys to finish school, he still was slow getting to the point sometimes.</p><p>"What are you on about, Lu?" Ashton sighed after a moment of trying to decipher Luke's code, ripping his attention away from the game as it went to commercial break. The sounds of a soft drink advertisement jingled in the background as Luke tried to make sense of his thoughts.</p><p>"I just, uh, ya'know, I still have my own place, and I don't want to be a burden on you since you were nice enough to let me stay in the first place and I mean I'm doing a lot better now since the breakup and-"</p><p>"Luke," Ashton sighed, setting his beer down on the coffee table and moving to sit next to Luke. Ashton was so close that Luke could smell the hint of aftershave he'd used earlier that day. "You're not a burden. I actually enjoy your company believe it or not." Ashton teased. "You know you're welcome to stay as long as you want." Ashton placed his hand on Luke's thigh, squeezing it softly and rubbing in small circles. </p><p>Luke loved this side of Ashton. He loved the caring and gentle and soft side of him, the side that no one usually got to see. "Unless you, um, you don't want to... stay here anymore?" Ashton wasn't one to show signs of weakness, he was always the one to put on the brave face, so when his voice dropped to an unsure whisper and he refused to meet the singer's eyes, Luke knew Ashton was nervous to ask. Luke felt small butterflies begin to flutter in the pit of his stomach as a blush rushed up Ashton's neck. Did that mean Ashton wanted him to stay?</p><p>"No! No." Luke reassured way too quickly to be casual. "It's not that, I just thought, I don't know, I thought maybe you wouldn't want me here anymore..." Luke could hear the embarrassment in his voice as he dropped his eyes to his sock-clad feet. It wasn't often that Luke and Ashton talked, and it was even less often that they talked about anything this serious.</p><p>"Luke," Ashton grabbed Luke's chin between his thumb and index finger so that Luke had no choice but to look at him. "I've really enjoyed your living here. Just because you're doing better doesn't mean you, like, have to move out right away, right? 'Cuz I think I'd kinda miss living with you... it gets lonely here by myself." Luke thought his heart was going to burst out of his chest as he listened to Ashton ramble on and try to justify why he should stay.</p><p>"I like living with you, too." Luke placed his hand on Ashton's knee in a comforting manner and Ashton intertwined their fingers.</p><p>"So you'll stay?" Ashton asked, the hint of hopefulness not lost on Luke. The taller boy nodded, his lips stretching out into a beautiful smile.</p><p>Ashton couldn't help but take a moment to admire his best friend. There was just something about Luke that was absolutely <em>radiating</em>. Ashton couldn't put his finger on it. Maybe it was the way that his pale skin looked almost iridescent under the stage lights. Or maybe it was the way that the sun brought out the honey blonde highlights in his curls or maybe the way that his chin was covered in a rugged three-day stubble. </p><p>'<em>It could have been the aquamarine of his eyes though,' </em>Ashton thought as he stared deep within the clear blue pools. Luke's eyes were like none he had ever encountered before. The way that you could see every single emotion that ran through Luke's mind cross his eyes was something absolutely refreshing. Sometimes Ashton found himself getting lost in Luke's cerulean gaze, and he would have to just nod along to make it seem like he was listening. He couldn't help it, there was just something about Luke's eyes that transfixed the drummer. Ashton would never admit it aloud, and he would vehemently deny it if anyone ever said anything, but he truly believed with every fiber of his being that Luke Hemmings was <em>pretty. </em>Not only pretty but absolutely and incredibly<em> beautiful.</em></p><p>Ashton had never even considered the fact that he might be gay. No, Ashton Fletcher Irwin was as straight as they came. He just loved sex, and he'd take it any way that it would come. So what if he liked having sex with his best friend? That didn't make him gay, he simply liked having sex with Luke, not other men, just<em> Luke. </em></p><p>"I'll stay," A toothy smile spread across Luke's lips and his eyes lit up in what could only be described as pure relief and happiness. Ashton felt his heart clench as Luke smiled, it had been so long since he had seen Luke genuinely happy, and he couldn't help but want to see that more often.</p><p>"Yeah?" Ashton breathed out, unconsciously leaning in closer to Luke.</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>Ashton felt the familiar heat building in his abdomen as he watched Luke's pink tongue dart out and wet his lips. Ashton rejoiced at Luke's agreeance to live with him longer, and his heart skipped a beat at the thought of seeing this beautiful face every day. He began to lean in, but the realization of what he was thinking hit Ashton like a brick and he jerked away slightly. What was he thinking? Luke wasn't beautiful. Beautiful was a word people used when feelings were involved. He was hot. He was sexy. He was... convenient. That's what it was. Ashton was just grateful for the proximity. "Good, because it's much easier this way. Now I don't even have to leave my house for a good fuck." Ashton said with a cocky smirk before closing the distance between the two and pressing his lips firmly against Luke's own cherry-red ones. He knew he was being an asshole, but he couldn't help it. He needed to make clear what this was between them... right?  </p><p><em>'Nope</em>,<em> most definitely not gay, it's just Luke</em>.' Ashton chanted in his head when he felt the familiar tingle along his bottom lip when Luke begged for entrance.<em> 'Wanting to fuck Luke doesn't make me gay, who wouldn't want to fuck Luke Hemmings?'</em></p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter Six</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Luke couldn't help but let the images of the night before replay in his mind as he let the delicate whipped cream from his hot chocolate sweeten his lips.</p><p>
  <em>"F-fuck, Ash," Luke said, his voice trailing off into a whine of pleasure as Ashton placed the cold tip of the canister against Luke's warm skin. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Shh," Ashton ran his tongue down Luke's chest and swirled the tip around his navel, tugging on the blonde hair that trailed down Luke's stomach. "You gotta stay still, can you do that for me, baby boy?" Ashton didn't wait for an answer as he splayed his hand over Luke's hip, holding him down against the bed as he trailed the tip of the canister along the path his tongue had traveled. Luke was panting and he desperately wanted to reach down and tug at Ashton's thick waves, but of course, Ashton was always one step ahead of him. And that was why Luke was sprawled out on his large king size bed, handcuffed to the wrought iron headboard. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ashton lived to tease, and he slowly dug the tip of the whipped cream can into Luke's skin. A loud hissing sound escaped as Ashton pressed down to let the cream spray out across Luke's pale skin. He made a trail down from Luke's navel to his pelvic bone and then up the inside of both Luke's milky thighs. Luke's chest was heaving as the cold aerosol brushed against his sensitive thighs and the delicious cream settled on his skin. Luke could see the glimmer in Ashton's eyes as he stared at Luke like the younger man was a dessert that he couldn't wait to dig in to. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Without any warning, Ashton lapped up the cream that trailed down Luke's stomach, tugging a moan from deep within Luke's chest. He could feel his cock throbbing hard against his stomach as Ashton's chin brushed against it, and he bucked his hips in the hopes that Ashton would be feeling generous and just take him in his mouth. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Uh, uh, uh..." Ashton tsk'ed, pulling his mouth away and digging his nails into the skin on Luke's hips as he pressed him into the bed. "Can't taste you if you keep wiggling around, Lu, now can I?" Luke gasped as Ashton spread his legs and pressed the tip of the canister against the puckered skin of his hole. "Now stay quiet and maybe if you're good I'll let you come later." </em>
</p><p>"Luke? Are you even listening to me?" Calum's voice broke through Luke's daydreams and he shifted around on the cafe sofa to hide his rapidly hardening dick.</p><p>"I, uh," Luke cleared his throat, tearing his eyes away from the sinful cream that had teased him from the moment the barista had handed it to him. "yeah, sorry, what were you saying?" Calum furrowed his eyebrows as he took in the dazed expression on his friend's face.</p><p>"Are you sure you're okay, Luke? I don't mean to pry, it's just, you haven't really been yourself lately," Calum said, dropping his voice down to a whisper so as not to attract any unwanted attention from anyone in the busy coffee shop. Luke sighed as he stared down into the cup he held in his hand. Calum had always been the one that Luke had turned to for advice, and so he was always able to tell when something was wrong with Luke before Luke even opened his mouth. Luke wanted nothing more than to divulge his secret to his best friend, he desperately needed one of Cal's warm hugs and his great advice. Of course, Calum would know exactly what to do, he always did. Luke would rant to Calum all about Ashton's mixed signals and the impending doom that was Luke's growing affection for the drummer, and Calum would tell Luke exactly what to do.</p><p>But what if Cal didn't understand? What if he didn't approve of Luke and Ashton's relationship and Luke only made things awkward between the band members? Images of Calum and Michael's hurt expressions played and replayed in his mind as he thought about what would happen if things ended badly between Luke and Ashton. The last thing he wanted was to ruin the band's career because he can't separate the feelings in his chest from the feelings in his dick. No, no he couldn't risk that, he wouldn't.</p><p>"I just have a lot on my mind right now, Cal. I'm sorry if I've been a bit spacey lately," Luke sighed as he ran his hand through his tousled curls.</p><p>"We worry about you, Luke. Me, Michael, Ashton..." Luke had to stop himself from laughing out loud. If only Cal knew that Ashton was the cause of all of his problems. "It's just that, after Arz, we thought things were getting better, but it almost seems like things have gotten, well, worse. I mean, no offense man, but you look like death, do you even sleep anymore?" Luke knew he looked like shit. He knew his skin was sickeningly pale and the dark circles under his eyes made him look like the walking dead, but he couldn't help it. That's just what overthinking did to him. When Luke wasn't tossing and turning in the middle of the night from overthinking, he was wide awake at four a.m once Ashton was done with him, and he was left high strung and shaking with ruined sheets.</p><p>"I just have a lot on my mind right now is all, I promise, I'm okay, Cal."</p><p>"Is this about a girl?" Calum blurted out and Luke couldn't help but stiffen in his seat.</p><p>"No, it's not, now can we just drop it?" Calum set down his own cup of coffee and turned so that he was knee to knee with Luke.</p><p>"Is it a boy? You know we won't judge you, Lu." Calum had always been able to read Luke like a book, so when Luke's eyes widened slightly and his mouth formed a perfect little 'o', Calum started rambling again. "You know we all just want to see you happy, and if this guy makes you happy then-"</p><p>"<em>Jesus Christ, </em>Cal! Would you <em>give it a rest</em>!" Luke snapped, slamming his cup down on the table in front of them as multiple heads began to turn in their direction. Luke mumbled out a quiet apology as everyone returned to their own conversations as if nothing happened.</p><p>"Luke, you're my best friend, you know I'll support you no matter what, and if you're worried about what the fans would think, well I think you've seen some of the things they write online-" Luke felt the annoyance bubbling up in his veins. Why couldn't Cal just understand that he didn't want to be talking about this? Luke knew if they kept talking he would slip up and mention Ashton, and that's the last thing he wanted to do.</p><p>"Cal, seriously," Luke said, his voice quavering. Calum immediately snapped his mouth shut as he recognized the pleading in his friend's eyes. "I don't want to talk about this anymore, <em>please</em>." Luke was desperate to change the subject. The last thing he wanted was to start crying in the middle of some random coffee shop. That would sure make for an interesting front page cover the next day.</p><p>Calum nodded, pursing his lips together and reaching over to lay a hand on Luke's shoulder. "Just remember that I'll always be here for you, okay?" Luke pressed his lips together and forced his mouth into the closest thing to a smile that he could muster. Sure, Calum was here for him now while he thought Ashton and Luke were just friends and that there was no threat to his career, but Luke highly doubted Calum would stay so understanding once he found out.</p><p>"Okay."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter Seven</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Okay, okay, check this out," Michael said with enthusiasm as he shoved the legal pad under Calum's nose.</p><p>"Would you back that shit out of my face, Mike? I'm not blind." Calum rolled his eyes as he snatched the paper from the excited guitarist's hands and began studying Michael's scraggly handwriting. Calum's eyebrows furrowed as he attempted to make out any semblance of English, but he couldn't. "Jesus mate, could your writing get<em> any sloppier? </em>Literally all I can make out are the words 'balloons' and... is that... <em>chocolate eclairs?</em>"</p><p>"Oh just give it back," Michael grumbled, snatching the notepad back from Calum's hands and flipping through the pages. "you just can't appreciate true art when you see it." Luke stifled a laugh as Michael continued to sulk, taking a couple of minutes to scribble furiously on the page.</p><p>"What about you, Luke? Have anything good?" Luke's head snapped up as he heard Calum say his name, and he immediately shut the cover to his leather-bound notebook.</p><p>The boys were in another writing session as they tried to wrap up the last five songs they needed for their third album. Luke had been desperately and ferociously writing since he moved back in with Ashton. He couldn't explain it, but it was as if Ashton had suddenly become his muse. Every melody seemed to come to him in the form of Ashton's twinkling laugh, and every lyric was hidden behind his hazel eyes. While Luke had been writing more than he ever has before, he wasn't ready to share any of his lyrics with the others, not quite yet. He had yet to figure out what the lyrics meant to himself, he wasn't ready for others to start trying to decipher them too.</p><p>"Oh, uh, no... no nothing too good." Luke forced out a chuckle as he tried to casually slip the small book into his jacket pocket, but he was too slow for Michael who reached over and swiped it from his hands.</p><p>"Well, why don't we just see that for ourselves," Cal smirked as Michael plopped down on the couch beside him, and Luke rolled his eyes as he began to stand up and make his way to grab back his journal.</p><p>"Please, guys, I don't have anything good I've just been playing around-"</p><p>"Ohhhh, playing around with what? Sounds dirty." Ashton teased as he strolled back into the room with a beer grasped in his hand. Luke gulped as Ashton walked behind the couch, leaning forward to take a glance at Luke's secretive book that he always hid from Ashton at home. "<em>If Walls Could Talk?</em>" Ashton questioned, a slight smirk quirking up the edges of his delicious lips. Luke could feel the blush crawling up his chest as Ashton stared at him, a glitter of understanding sparkling in his eyes.</p><p>"Um, y-yeah, it's just something I've been working on, it's nothing good though," Luke said in a whisper as he fiddled with the rings on his fingers. It was quiet for a few moments as the three boys studied Luke's notebook passionately. Luke felt his anxiety rising as Calum and Michael exchanged hesitant looks.</p><p>"Wow, these lyrics are... wow," Michael said, eyes scanning over the small leather notebook clutched between his fingers. The title <em>If Walls Could Talk</em> was scribbled messily across the top of the page in Luke's chicken scratch. Luke's heart was beating out of his chest as Calum and Michael continued to examine the lyrics that he had written.</p><p>"This is incredible," Calum mumbled, his eyebrows furrowing as he absorbed every single word.</p><p>"Yeah, it really is Luke," Michael pinched his lip between his thumb and forefinger as his eyes scanned the page. "Where did you come up with this?" Luke felt the heat rising to his cheeks, and he glanced over towards the boys sitting across from him, eyes lingering on the smirking drummer. Just then Ashton looked up, meeting Luke's embarrassed gaze and sending the young singer a subtle wink. Images of Ashton's sweaty body filled Luke's mind and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he remembered the way Ashton gripped his hips, fingers digging into his soft skin as he thrust into Luke. Gasps and moans echoed through his head. Luke swore he could still taste the salty remains of Ashton's orgasm on his lips from the night before, and he licked over his bottom lip.</p><p>"Yeah, Luke, what was your inspiration?" Ashton's teasing voice cut through his clouded thoughts and he really hoped no one else noticed the cockiness in Ashton's tone. The last thing Luke wanted was for some kind of coming out party right here right now.</p><p>"I uh-" Luke tore his eyes away from Ashton so as to not draw any more attention to the two of them, but he wasn't quick enough. He caught the look of confusion on Calum's face turn to one of faint surprise before he cleared his throat and looked away. He desperately wanted to believe that Cal hadn't noticed anything, but he knew that sooner or later he would be confronted by his best friend. Luke's stomach twisted as he realized Calum had figured it all out, but the moment he glanced over at Ashton all of his worries fell away. The fire that burned in Ashton's eyes was hypnotizing, and all Luke could think about was the way those same burning eyes had been filled with so much passion as Ashton came all over Luke's face.</p><p>He could still feel Ashton's cold lips against his fiery skin, and he prayed to God that the other boys wouldn't notice the tightening that was beginning to take place in the front of his jeans. "It just came to me I guess."</p><p>* * *</p><p>"So, it just came to you, huh?" Ashton teased as he pressed Luke up against the front door of their apartment and pressed hot, rough kisses to the younger man's neck. Luke shivered as the drummer ran his hands up the front of Luke's shirt and stripped him of it.</p><p>"Just shut up Ash, will you?" Luke whined in embarrassment as he fumbled with the buttons on Ashton's shirt before throwing it aside.</p><p>"Aw but baby boy," Ashton said, his lips brushing against Luke's as he began unbuckling Luke's belt. "We're falling already."</p><p>"We're what?" Luke panted as Ashton's hand found its way into Luke's briefs and wrapped around his aching cock.</p><p>"You know," Ashton said as his grip on Luke's cock tightened, and Luke felt his legs begin to buckle. "Cuz we'd fall from grace, we're falling," Ashton sang, his raspy voice turning Luke's insides to pure ice and sending shivers of pleasure winding through his body. "Yeah, we'd fall from grace if these walls could talk."</p><p>"God, you can be such an ass sometimes!" Luke rolled his eyes as Ashton giggled at his own joke, and he tried to push Ashton away and storm off to his room, but Ashton wouldn't let him get away that easily. The drummer's nimble fingers made quick work to wrap around Luke's bicep and spin him around so that Luke was pressed up against the wall.</p><p>"Oh come on now, Lu," Ashton snickered, pressing his clothed erection up against Luke's ass, both boys moaning at the friction it created. "don't be like that baby boy, I was only teasing you. You know you want this, you know you want me." Ashton licked along the shell of Luke's ear and began once again pressing chaste kisses to the exposed skin of his neck.</p><p>Luke knew he gave in to Ashton far too often. Luke knew that Ashton held a damned collar around Luke's neck that he would yank on whenever he felt like it, and as much as Luke didn't want to be a pushover, he couldn't help it as he kissed Ashton back with as much passion as he could muster. Luke gave in far too easily, and as Ashton led him by the hand upstairs and to his bedroom, Luke promised that next time, <em>next time</em> he wouldn't give in so easily. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter Eight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"<em>Fuck Ash</em>," Luke whined breathlessly as Ashton pounded into him from behind. Ashton twisted his hand into the back of Luke's hair and pressed his face deeper into the comforter.</p><p>"Feels so good, Lu. You feel so good wrapped around my cock. You're always so fucking <em>tight,</em>" Ashton moaned as he pulled out to the tip and slammed back into the younger boy. Luke could feel his orgasm drawing near as Ashton continued to swivel his hips, hitting Luke's prostate just right with every thrust. Ashton knew just how to fuck Luke to make him squeal, to make his toes curl in ecstasy and stars dance behind his eyes. Luke had never felt such immense pleasure before. Not with Arz, not with any of his one night stands, not with anyone. No one had ever been able to make him cum as hard as Ashton did.</p><p>Luke's cock throbbed against his stomach, and between thrusts back against Ashton's dick, Luke rutted against the soft material of the comforter, desperate for friction.</p><p>"A-Ashton I'm not gonna last much longer." Luke moaned as his orgasm began to seep into his bones.</p><p>"Hold it for me, baby," Ashton commanded as he began thrusting harder, the tip of his cock now jabbing into Luke's prostate relentlessly with every thundering blow.</p><p>"<em>Oh my god," </em>Luke yelped as he desperately tried to keep his orgasm at bay. Ashton had always had more stamina than Luke did, and over the last few months Ashton had been training Luke to hold off his orgasm until they could cum together, but Luke knew that this time he wouldn't be able to hold it.</p><p>"That's right, Lu, you like taking my cock, huh? You're such a good little cockslut for Daddy. You're always begging to feel my thick cock stretch you out, aren't you? I fucking love how you moan my name, Luke. Fucking scream it, want everyone to know that <em>you're mine</em>." Ashton had always loved to talk dirty, and Luke ate it up like his last meal. Ashton's filthy mouth alone was enough to send Luke over the edge, but there was just something about the dominance in Ashton's tone when he said '<em>you're mine'</em> that had Luke screaming and convulsing as he came all over the sheets. Luke's orgasm ripped through his body, shattering every single nerve cell as Ashton continued pounding into him before reaching his high a few moments later. "Fuck, Luke!" Luke's body was trembling as he felt Ashton shoot his hot seed into him, letting it spill down his thighs as Ashton pulled out shortly after.</p><p>Both boys lay sprawled out on the California King bed panting as fatigue washed over them. It was quiet for a couple of minutes as both boys took the time to recollect themselves and their thoughts. What had started as a playful tryst had turned into a full-time affair between Ashton and Luke, and Luke wasn't sure how he felt as he laid spread out on Ashton's bed, Ashton's cum drying on his thighs. Luke wasn't sure how he felt about what they had become. He felt so utterly guilty every time they had sex because he knew that he cared for Ashton, but he knew Ashton would never feel the same. He felt cheap letting Ashton use him for sex whenever he wanted, but if that meant getting the chance to be this close to the tan god that was Ashton Irwin, Luke would gladly feel cheap every day of the week.</p><p>Luke felt the dip in the bed as Ashton got up with a sigh, leisurely making his way into his attached bathroom. He returned moments later with a towel and threw it at Luke.</p><p>"Thanks," Luke said quietly as he began wiping the lube and Ashton's dried cum from his legs. The bed dipped again as Ashton sat down beside him and let his fingers brush through Luke's mess of curls.</p><p>"Michael's right," Ashton said as he brushed a stray curl from in front of Luke's eyes. Luke furrowed his eyebrows and turned so that he was looking at the drummer.</p><p>"About what?"</p><p>"That song," Ashton's hand found its way to Luke's neck, softly grazing his marked skin. "It really is amazing, Luke. You are incredibly talented. " It was moments like these that confused Luke the most. Moments when Ashton was so soft and so serious and so, well... the exact version of Ashton Luke had always wished for<em>. </em>Luke knew deep down that Ashton meant nothing more by it than platonic admiration, but he desperately wished to believe this was different. He wanted so badly for Ashton to break down and admit he had feelings for Luke, feelings much stronger than just fuck buddies. But Luke knew that wouldn't happen because it wasn't true. Ashton liked sex. Ashton liked sex with Luke, that was all.</p><p>Luke stared into Ashton's hazel eyes and felt the lump in his throat become the size of a golf ball. <em>It's now or never </em>he told himself. <em>Tell him how you really feel</em>. Luke was never one for taking risks, but at this moment with Ashton staring deep into his eyes, he felt as if the words were going to slide right off of his tongue.</p><p>"Ash, I-I have something I need to tell you-" The sound of Ashton's cell phone ringing made Luke snap his mouth shut.</p><p>"Hold that thought." Ashton held up a finger as he jumped up off of the bed and dug through the pile of clothes that laid on the floor to find his cell phone. After what felt like an eternity, Ashton finally managed to pull his phone out of his pants pocket. Luke noticed a slight frown overtake Ashton's face as he read the caller ID, but his eyes shown brighter than Luke had ever seen them before. Ashton held the phone up to his ear and Luke laid back on the bed with a huff. All courage that he had built up to tell Ashton he liked him had vanished at the first ring of that damned phone.</p><p>"Lissa?" Luke's stomach dropped like a bowling ball in his gut as he heard the excitement in Ashton's voice pick up. That was a name Luke had desperately hoped he would never have to hear again.</p><p><em>Lissa</em>.</p><p>Just Luke's luck. Blonde-haired, blue-eyed Lissa Parker. The girl that got away. Luke's heart was thumping wildly, and he felt the tears already pricking at his eyes. He took small, shallow breaths as he listened to Ashton pace around the room, occasionally humming in understanding.</p><p>"No, yeah of course. I'd love to! Can I meet you at seven? Our diner on Eighth street? Perfect." Luke could feel the excitement radiating off of Ashton as he hung up the phone and flopped down on the bed next to Luke.</p><p>"She says she misses what we had. Wants to meet for dinner to talk about maybe starting fresh again. Oh my god, I thought after she started dating that tool last month I was done for, but- fuck!" It had been months since Luke saw Ashton smile this brightly. </p><p>"That's um," Luke started, catching the quavering in his voice and hoping to God Ashton hadn't noticed. "That's great, Ash. I'm happy for you." Luke sat up on the bed and began to stand, but Ashton grabbed his arm.</p><p>"Where are you going?" Luke gently broke free of Ashton's grip and turned his back on him as he began to bundle his clothes up in his arms. He needed to get out of that room before he broke down completely.</p><p>"Thought I'd let you get ready for your date."</p><p>"Hey," Ashton said as he walked up behind Luke and wrapped his arms around Luke's waist. "I don't have to meet her for another two hours, that gives us plenty of time for round two," Ashton smirked against Luke's neck and began placing sloppy kisses against his skin. Luke could feel Ashton's erection press against the cleft of his ass, but he ignored it and broke free of Ashton's grasp.</p><p>"I, uh, actually can't. I promised Cal I'd, um, hang out tonight so I gotta get ready." Luke lied quickly, not giving Ashton a chance to respond as he darted out of the room before Ashton could spot the tears glazing over his eyes. Luke ran down the hall to his own bedroom, locking the door behind him as he fell to the floor, leaning his still naked back against the door. Luke held his head in his hands as he wept, letting the silent tears rush down his face in a torrent of snot and salt as he let his emotions consume him completely. His heart ached and his stomach churned as he sobbed violently into his hands. Luke had never felt so disgusting and cheap in his entire life. </p><p>Luke didn't know how long he sat on the floor crying, but when he heard Ashton pick up his keys from the side table by the front door and leave the apartment, he assumed it had been at least an hour. Luke finally let himself move from his spot on the floor, his stiff joints popping and clicking as he achingly made his way over to his bed and pulled back the covers. Exhaustion swept over Luke's body and all he wanted to do was sleep for the rest of his life.</p><p>As Luke drifted off into a restless sleep, tears still staining his cheeks, he couldn't help but think about the heartbreaking look of hope that filled Ashton's face when he picked up his phone.</p><p>
  <em>So much for that 'You're Mine' bullshit. </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter Nine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>From Calum 4:00pm: </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Luke, we need to talk </em>
</p><p>
  <em>From Calum 4:12pm:</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Idk why you wouldn't just tell me the truth?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>From Calum 4:15pm:</em>
</p><p>
  <em>What's going on with you and Ash?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>From Calum 4:33pm:</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I already know something's going on so you can cut the bs lies... just tell me the truth, you know I won't tell anyone... </em>
</p><p>
  <em>From Calum 5:00pm: </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Luke seriously answer me or I'm coming over there right now!!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>From Calum 5:30pm: </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ok that's it I'm on my way over.</em>
</p><p>The last thing Luke wanted was company, but he knew after their writing session today that Calum wouldn't take no for an answer. By the time Luke had even managed to drag his body out of bed to check his phone, Calum was already beating on his bedroom door.</p><p>"Luke! I know you're here, open the door or I'll break it down." Luke sighed and pulled on his black briefs that laid crumpled on the floor.</p><p>"Cal, I'm not in the mood," Luke grumbled, but nonetheless opened the door. He might not have been in the mood for any type of human interaction, but he would never turn down a cuddle from Calum. When Luke was in a bad mood, the only thing that was a surefire way of cheering him up was a hug from his best friend.</p><p>The minute that Luke unlocked the door, Calum pushed it open and stalked past Luke, pacing back and forth from Luke's bed to the door of his ensuite.</p><p>"I knew something was going on with you I just never would have guessed it was- <em>Ashton, </em>Luke? Really? I mean, I love you both, but what the hell are you thinking? I don't-"</p><p>"Cal." Luke grabbed Calum's shoulders to stop him from pacing the floor. "you need to chill out, okay? It's nothing." Calum's eyes grew to the size of saucers as he opened and closed his mouth.</p><p>"Nothing? It's <em>nothing?</em>" Calum sighed as he ran a hand through his hair and sat down on the edge of Luke's bed. "I'm going to be honest, Luke, I had my suspicions that you weren't totally straight, and there's nothing wrong with that! But, but <em>Ashton?"</em> Luke felt his throat constrict and tears well in his eyes once again. He felt like he'd been crying for hours already and he was just <em>so exhausted. </em>"I mean, why didn't you just tell me? You know I'd never judge you, Luke." The hurt in Calum's voice was clear, and Luke couldn't help but feel worse than he already did. He never expected Calum to understand.</p><p>"It's not that I didn't want to tell you, Cal, it's just- You can't tell anyone, okay?" Luke said in a broken whisper as he sat down next to Calum and let his head hang in his hands. He felt the bassist's hand begin to rub soothing circles into his back, and he felt his last walls crumbling to pieces as he once again began to cry.</p><p>"I'd never tell anyone, Luke," Calum assured his best friend. "There's no reason to be ashamed about how you feel," Luke just shook his head before looking up at his best friend.</p><p>"It's not that," Luke started, "we're just fuck buddies. That's all we'll ever be." Luke huffed as he looked away from Calum. "He doesn't care about me. He never has. I'm not ashamed to fuck Ashton, I'm ashamed to have fallen for him as hard as I have."</p><p>It was stark silent as both boys tried to process what hung between them. Luke had never admitted his feelings out loud before, and now that he had, he felt like a literal boulder had been lifted from his shoulders.</p><p>"Wow," Calum sighed, pushing his hand through his hair and turning to engulf Luke in an all-consuming hug. "How long has this been going on?"</p><p>Luke let out a forced laugh, burying his face into Calum's neck. "too fucking long. I just- I can't say no to him, Cal! I'm literally addicted! He drains the life out of me and yet I can't get enough of him. One kiss, one-touch, and I fall under his control. I can't take it anymore! One of these days he's going to break me, Calum. I know he is."</p><p>"Hey, hey, it's okay," Calum soothed as he held a shaking Luke in his arms. He'd seen Luke cry many times before, but never like this. Calum felt his heart break for his best friend as he hugged him close, staying silent as Luke continued to cry and rant and fall apart in front of him.</p><p>The next hour was spent with Luke wrapped around Calum, shaking as he recounted the whole story of his scandalous affair with Ashton from start to finish. Calum was hurt that Luke had kept this a secret for so long. Luke never kept secrets from Calum. But deep down, he understood. Luke was embarrassed. Luke was unbelievably embarrassed by just how much of a pushover he was when it came to Ashton, and even retelling the details, Luke felt his cheeks burn in mortification.</p><p>He told Calum all about the marks Ashton loved to leave. All about how he made Luke beg and plead. He stared down at his hands, refusing to meet Calum's eye as he recounted to him about what happened at the club and in the shower the next day. Luke talked and talked until every last ounce of shame in his body was out in the open and he could breathe again without feeling like his throat was constricting.</p><p>"You know you don't deserve this, Luke, right? You don't deserve to be treated the way Ashton is treating you. I always knew Ash was a fuckin' nymph but I never thought he'd go as far as using you to- fuck! I swear when he gets back I'm going to-"</p><p>"No!" Luke cut him off in a panic, "Please, Cal. You can't say anything to Ashton about this." Calum turned towards Luke and gripped his shoulders. His heart hurt as he stared into the eyes of his best friend. Luke's blue eyes were now brighter than ever as the whites of his eyes burned a bright red from the hours of tears. The translucent skin that hung under his eyes was puffy and raw, and Calum wanted nothing more than to be able to scrub away the pain that Luke was feeling. It was hard for Calum to believe that Ashton, someone he thought he had known so well all of these years, someone that he considered a best friend, a mentor, was a completely different person behind closed doors. Calum's heart ached for Luke. It ached for Luke's hopeless romanticism and his glass heart. Luke didn't deserve any pain from anyone. Calum would never let anyone hurt his best friend.</p><p>"Luke, he's using you." Luke nodded, finally looking up to meet Calum's eyes.</p><p>"I know he is."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter Ten</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Calum shut the door to Luke's room, letting the latch click softly against the frame as he exhaled for the first time in what felt like an eternity. It had been nearly three hours since he came over, and in that time Luke had told him every grisly detail of his tryst with Ashton. He never expected to hear such things about his best friends, nor did he ever want to.</p><p>Calum was sick to his stomach as he listened on with tight lips as Luke recounted time after time of Ashton using him, fucking him quick and rough in the bathroom during management dinners with the band. Calum cringed as Luke told him about the way Ashton would beg and beg and <em>beg </em>Luke to fuck him in the dressing room before a concert until Luke finally gave in and was then forced to hide his limp on stage.</p><p>Just when Calum thought that he wouldn't be able to take it anymore, that he was about to burst from the absolute anger raging through his veins, Luke sniffled one last time and fell asleep curled up in Calum's lap. The poor boy was absolutely exhausted from the hours he'd spent relieving himself of the burden of the secret affair and passed out, drooling, on Calum's shoulder.</p><p>Calum felt a violent heat building up in his body as Luke talked, and he found it hard to believe that he didn't have steam pouring out of his ears. Never in his wildest dreams would he ever have imagined that Ashton could treat another human being the way he treated Luke, let alone one of his supposed best friends.</p><p>With heavy feet, Calum made his way into their kitchen, ripping open the fridge and digging through it to find the six-pack of beer he knew Ashton always kept stocked. He desperately needed it after the afternoon he had. As if his life depended on it, Calum twisted off the cap and brought the ice-cold bottle to his lips like he would wither away without it. Calum let the bitterness of the beer rush over his tongue and down his throat, not even stopping to savor the taste.</p><p>Before he knew it, Calum was cracking open his second beer, wanting nothing more than to wipe away the memory of his best friend's pain with every bottle. Calum let the sweet bitterness of the alcohol seep through every vein in his body, pulsing hotly under his skin as the image of a tearful Luke stuck behind his eyelids. The young bassists' heart broke more and more with every passing second, the sharp jagged edges pressing against the inside of his skin like hot needles. Calum was having a hard time wrapping his head around the new picture of Ashton that Luke had painted in his mind over the last few hours. He'd never look at his friend the same way again. </p><p>He couldn't possibly comprehend how someone that giggly and funny and thoughtful could be such a different person behind closed doors. If there was one thing Calum was sure of it was that Ashton most likely didn't <em>mean </em>to treat Luke the way he did. Calum could never see Ashton intentionally hurting anyone, and Cal knew just how sensitive Luke could be. But goddamnit, Ashton should know that after living with him. He should know the way Luke always tears up watching Toy Story 3 and the Kay jewelers engagement commercials. He knows how easily Luke gets offended by hate online, how could he not see the pain he was causing Luke on a regular basis?</p><p>Calum's head was swirling with thought after thought like waves crashing over the shoreline, and he barely even noticed the lock to the front door start to jiggle. When the door to the apartment swung open, Calum stiffened knowing that he was about to come face to face with Ashton himself. He had yet to organize any of his thoughts, and his mind swam with anger. All Calum could think about was <em>Luke. Luke. Luke. </em></p><p>Luke in pain, Luke crying, Luke heartbroken. Could Ashton not see the torment he was putting his supposed best friend through? Calum knew the last thing Luke would want is any sort of confrontation. He had only told Calum the truth in a moment of weakness after all, but Calum couldn't stand by silently and watch his best friend be ripped apart stitch by stitch, day by day. He needed for Ashton to take responsibility for the pain he has caused.</p><p>"Are those my beers?" Ashton whined as he entered the kitchen, kicking off his shoes and tossing them to the side. Calum took a deep breath and rolled his eyes as he cracked open another one. The last thing he wanted to do was lose his temper right away, but he could feel his anger rising with every step Ashton took further into the apartment.</p><p>"Yeah," Calum replied with a shrug as he pushed a full one towards Ashton and gestured to the open barstool next to him. "why don't you sit, Ash. It's been a while since we've caught up." After four beers in a little less than 20 minutes, Calum could hear his words begin to slow, but he ignored it and kept his mind focused on what really mattered, <em>Luke. </em></p><p>Ashton furrowed his eyebrows and looked at Calum in question before sliding onto the barstool next to the bassist. Calum watched as Ashton took long, slow gulps of the amber liquid, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down with each swallow. Calum could faintly make out the red tinge to the crook of Ashton's neck, incomplete hickeys smattering his golden skin and Calum's jaw tightened.</p><p>"Looks like you had a good night then," Calum said, a bit of resentment seeping through his words as he forced a tight smile onto his lips and gestured towards Ashton's neck. Ashton looked down to his neck where Calum was pointing and a lopsided grin spread its way across his lips.</p><p>"Liss called me after our writing session." Calum nodded, feigning surprise as if Luke hadn't already cried to him for the last few hours over it. "We had dinner and then went back to her place, and yeah..." Ashton trailed off with a chuckle, gulping down the rest of his beer and setting the empty bottle back on the marble countertop. "I think it's really going to work out this time, Cal, we talked everything through and realized how naive we had both been and, god I never realized just how much I missed her." Ashton sighed, turning to face him and Calum's anger began to dissipate. As he looked at the lovestruck look on Ashton's face, his anger ebbed away into pity for Luke.</p><p>"So it's the real deal then, huh?" Calum asked as casually as he could, pretending to examine the bottle he held in his hand.</p><p>"I hope so, Cal. I can't fuck it up this time, I won't." Ashton said with a determined head nod as if he were trying to reassure himself of this and not just Calum.</p><p>"No more messing around then, yeah?" Calum said, his voice taking on a new edge as he lifted his eyes to meet Ashton's. He could only hope that the older boy could see the meaning behind his words. "Because we wouldn't want anyone to get more hurt than they already are." Calum glanced up the stairs to where Luke's bedroom was before returning his gaze to Ashton and watching as the drummer's look turned from confusion to recognition. Ashton struggled to find his words, his mouth flapping open and shut as he tried to figure out what best to say next.</p><p>"We uh, I-" he scratched the back of his neck and let his eyes fall to his sock-clad feet. "No one is hurt, Cal?" Ashton said as he regained his composure and once again looked up to meet Calum's eyes. Calum could feel his blood steaming in his veins, but he knew that Luke would hate him if he started anything he couldn't stop. Calum pursed his lips as he flexed his hands, curling his fingers into fists and watching as the skin around his knuckles turned white from the pressure he was exerting.</p><p>"Speak for yourself, Ash," Calum whispered as he pushed himself off of the barstool and walked towards the door. Watching the way Ashton reacted as if Luke meant nothing, as if what they had meant nothing, had drained the anger out of Calum and replaced it with a deep-seated sadness for his best friend. The energy to confront Ashton, to yell and scream at him until he realized the pain he has caused had slowly drained itself from Calum's body until he was left standing there at a loss for words. It was quiet as Calum slid on his boots and grabbed his jacket from the rack by the door. He hesitated, his hand on the doorknob as he turned back around to face Ashton one last time. He could see the confusion etched on Ashton's features as clear as day.</p><p>"When a person says that you've hurt them, you just don't get to decide that you didn't." Calum nodded to Ashton once more before he opened the door and slipped through, leaving Ashton alone with his spiralling thoughts.</p><p>* * *</p><p>It had been nearly an hour since Calum had left Ashton to soak in his own bathwater of thoughts, and Ashton still felt himself at a complete loss. Was Ashton really hurting Luke?</p><p>Ashton held his throbbing head in his hands, letting his elbows rest against the glossy marble tabletop as his mind raced. Why would Luke be hurt by what they were doing? Ashton was under the assumption that Luke enjoyed what they did, had wanted it just as bad as he did... why would things be different now? And why had Luke felt comfortable enough to speak with Cal about it and not him? That last thought sent a pang of jealousy soaring through his chest. </p><p>Ashton's thoughts echoed through his ears, and when the sun finally set, and Ashton was left in complete darkness, he sighed as he dragged his heavy body up the stairs towards his room. Ashton had never meant for any of this to happen. He never meant for things with Luke to get to the point they had, but he thought that they had been on the same page. He thought that Luke understood what was going on between them and understood the boundaries. When had things between them gotten so complicated?</p><p>Ashton groaned as he reached his bedroom door and twisted the knob. Just as he was about to cross the threshold, he paused, eyes drifting to the door across the hall where Luke was probably deep in sleep. Ashton's mind told him not to go in, but his body wouldn't listen, and he soon found himself standing in front of Luke's door. Without a second thought, his arm reached out and opened the door. The glow of the night sky cast shadows through the room, and Ashton could just faintly make out Luke's glowing form curled up on the very edge of the bed.  His long legs were tucked up under him and his puckered lips sent light puffs of air out with every exhale.</p><p>Ashton stared at the young boy in fascination, studying every contour of his sinewy muscle and every roll of flesh. The moonlight through the blinds made Luke's creamy skin glow in a dewy iridescence. He looked angelic. The rough facial hair that lined his jaw looked especially soft against the white linen of his pillow, and Ashton wanted nothing more than to reach out and run his fingers through the coarse hair. Luke's body trembled, whether it was in fear or cold, Ashton couldn't tell. He noticed the way Luke curled tighter in on himself, his eyes squeezed shut as if in distress. Ashton frowned as he watched Luke shake, hating the way the young boy looked so innocent and helpless as he slept.</p><p>He didn't think twice as he stripped out of his clothes, folding them and leaving them in a neat pile by the foot of the bed. Ashton tiptoed over to the other side, and without even stopping to consider the implications, slid into bed behind Luke, wrapping one of his strong arms around Luke's waist. The older boy noticed how Luke's large frame fit oddly perfect against his front, and he pressed himself tighter against Luke's back as Luke's trembling picked up once again. Ashton pulled up the blanket around both of their bodies as he settled comfortably behind Luke's much broader frame. It felt so wrong yet so right to be laying there with Luke, and as he settled in, Ashton couldn't help but realize that this was the first and only time he had ever actually <em>slept </em>with Luke.</p><p>He knew what he was doing was wrong. He knew that climbing into Luke's bed was only going to cause more problems, but at the moment he just didn't care. As Ashton drifted off to sleep, face nuzzled into the back of Luke's warm neck, he couldn't help but hear Calum's words ringing through his ears.</p><p>
  <em>"We wouldn't want anyone to get more hurt than they already are."</em>
</p><p>The words haunted Ashton, but as he lay curled around the younger boy with sleep breathing down his neck, he decided that he could deal with the repercussions of his actions in the morning.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter Eleven</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Luke woke up early the next morning, not because of the gray morning rays that peaked through the curtains, but because of the warm puffs of breath against the back of his neck. Luke's body froze as he felt the body behind him shift and snuggle up closer against his naked back.</p><p>Luke turned his neck, trying his hardest not to wake the sleeping body behind him as he tried to catch a glimpse of who he assumed was Calum cuddled up in bed with him. His breath hitched in his throat when his eye caught on not the expected raven locks of his best friend, but instead on the honey-gold curls of his roommate. Luke's throat constricted as he tried to keep his breathing steady. Questions swam through his mind as he tried to make sense of all of the emotions he felt coursing through his veins. Luke wanted to pull away, he desperately wished to rip out of Ashton's embrace, but the feeling of Ashton's warm arms wrapped around his waist was too intoxicating to leave.</p><p>Luke could feel his heart thrumming against his ribcage at the realization that he was in Ashton's arms, that Ashton had voluntarily climbed into his bed and wrapped his strong, masculine arms around Luke, that he had pressed his body up against Luke's and held him close throughout the night...</p><p>Instead of turning around to face the consequences of a choice that wasn't even his own, Luke closed his eyes. The younger man snuggled deeper into the warm comforter and pressed himself more firmly against Ashton's chest, drifting off to sleep without a second thought. </p><p>* * *</p><p>When Luke woke up a few hours later to the sun high in the sky, the bed next to him was as cold and empty as it had been when he fell asleep the night before. Luke's heart crashed and plummeted in his chest, crackling into a thousand tiny shards, and he gulped down the lump that began to build in his throat.</p><p>He pulled his legs up to his chest, wrapping his arms around his stomach just as Ashton's had done a few hours prior. Even though the heat from the blanket was enough to keep his body warm to the touch, Luke shivered from the loss of contact. He was already craving the feeling of Ashton's skin against his own again.</p><p>Luke knew that Ashton didn't want to talk about what had happened. The older made that very clear by the way he left before daybreak without a sign that he had ever been there to begin with. The knife that Ashton had been plunging in Luke's gut continued to twist. </p><p>If he hadn't been upset with Ashton yesterday, he was definitely upset now as he lay alone in bed with his thoughts and feelings running in every different direction. Did Ashton just enjoy fucking with Luke? Did he enjoy driving Luke crazy with his mixed messages? One of these days Luke was going to crack and it would be all Ashton's fault.</p><p>The sun hung heavy in the sky, and Luke knew it had to be midday by the time he managed to drag his aching body out of bed and to the shower. Luke twisted on the faucet and stripped himself of his boxers as he waited for the water to warm. He stepped into the inviting steam and closed himself off to the outside world, letting himself forget about Ashton as he relaxed under the pelting droplets from the showerhead.</p><p>Luke stood in the shower for what felt like ages, the scalding water washing away any last trace of Ashton's scent that clung to his skin before he finally gathered his thoughts and left his sanctuary for the cold reality of life. Luke toweled himself off, pulling on a fresh pair of sweatpants and his 5SOS sweatshirt, running the towel once more through his long curls before finally growing the courage to open his door and tread down the stairs.</p><p>His heart pounded in his chest with every stair that he descended, and he could already feel the sweat beginning to accumulate in the palms of his hands as he balled them into fists at his side. Luke couldn't bear the thought of looking Ashton in the eyes right now, not after this morning. Even though Luke knew Ashton had no idea that he had been awake, he knew that Ashton would be able to tell the minute he looked into his eyes. He would see the pain, the confusion, the anger. The blood in Luke's ears wooshed as he took the last step and reluctantly rounded the corner into the kitchen.</p><p>Luke let out a short-lived breath of relief as he entered the empty kitchen. Even though his stomach felt like it was filled with lead, Luke knew that he needed some sort of food in his system after skipping dinner. His mom would scold him for skipping meals, so he forced his body to move, ambling over to the kitchen cupboard to grab a bowl and a box of the Cinnamon Toast Crunch that Ashton always hid behind the boxes of quinoa. Luke thought that the last thing he wanted was to see Ashton this morning, but he realized just how wrong he was when he went to get the milk from the fridge and saw the yellow post-it note stuck to the door.</p><p>In Ashton's looped handwriting it read:</p><p>
  <em>Went to Lissa's for the day, be back later... Maybe. Don't wait up. </em>
</p><p>Luke sighed as he felt his stomach curl and he placed the milk back in the fridge, put the cereal back in it's hiding place, and returned the bowl to the cabinet. The last thing Luke wanted to do now was eat. The tears began to well up behind Luke's eyes as he attempted to ignore the stabbing pain in his chest. His head throbbed as he thought of Ashton in bed with Lissa, his warm lips pressed against her shoulder, his strong arms gripping her waist the way that they were supposed to hold Luke's.</p><p>Luke cringed as he re-read Ashton's note, all the while imagining the way that Ashton's large hands had been cradling his hips not even six hours before. A groan left Luke's lips as he dropped himself onto one of the barstools and placed his head in his hands.</p><p>If there was one thing Luke knew for sure, it was that Ashton Irwin would be the death of him. </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter Twelve</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been two months since Ashton had last felt Luke's tight ass wrapped around his cock, and he felt like he was going through withdrawals. He had been trying to keep his distance from the young frontman ever since he fell asleep in Luke's bed, but it was becoming more and more difficult each and every day.</p><p>Especially nights like this. Nights when Lissa was out of town and Ashton was left alone to deal with an aching hard-on that just wouldn't go away. Two cold showers and a handjob later, Ashton was still more frustrated than he had ever been as he tried to get ready for a band appearance at the new nightclub opening downtown. The absolute last thing he wanted was to go play nice in front of a hundred cameras while sporting a hard-on, but the band hadn't had a public outing in almost six months, and they needed to build anticipation for the upcoming album.</p><p>Ashton groaned as he sprawled out on the bed, his tight jeans pressing uncomfortably against his crotch. Lis had only been gone two days but he was already aching for her touch, <em>any</em> touch for that matter. Ashton had been trying his best over the last few weeks not to think about the night he spent with Luke. He didn't want to think about how nice it felt to wake up without a mouthful of long blonde hair shoved down his throat, or how much he enjoyed feelings Luke's coarse leg hair against his own or the strong beating of his heart under Ashton's hand. As much as Ashton tried to deny it, he yearned to feel Luke's broad back pressed up against his chest again. Ashton would never admit it if pressed, but sometimes late at night he still thought about the musky scent of Luke's skin when he buried his face in the younger boy's neck.</p><p>It wasn't that he was unhappy with Lis, no, he still very much loved her. It just wasn't the <em>same. </em>Ashton didn't understand it, but sometimes when he was kissing Lissa all he could imagine was what it would feel like to be kissing Luke. To feel Luke's large hands wrapped around his neck and to feel his soft curls between his fingers. It wasn't that Lissa was a bad fuck, goddamn, Lissa was a firecracker in bed. With her taut nipples and deliciously pink pussy, Lis was every man's dream. No, she wasn't bad, far from, in fact, she was just <em>different.</em></p><p>Ashton missed how vocal Luke was. He missed hearing Luke's soft whimpers and yelps of pleasure and pain. Luke was just more passionate, more meaningful with his sounds. Unlike Lissa, Luke wasn't vocal just to be vocal. Every sound that escaped Luke's sinful lips was intentional, and that's what Ashton loved.</p><p>"Hey, Ash, we're leaving in ten minutes! Get your ass out here and take some shots with us!" Michael's obnoxious voice broke through Ashton's thoughts as he pounded on the bedroom door. Ashton groaned as the image of Luke's pretty lips wrapped around his cock faded from his mind, and he found himself back in his bedroom, his friends in the next room and a painful erection left for him to deal with.</p><p>"God fucking dammit..." Ashton mumbled before digging his phone out of his pocket and tossing his phone on his bedside table. Maybe that would help alleviate some of the pressure in the front of his jeans.</p><p>"I'm coming, I'm coming," Ashton yelled as he grabbed his red leather jacket from a chair by his door and walked out to join everyone else in the living room. Ashton threw on his jacket and began tucking his white button-down into the top of his pants, but when he rounded the corner into the living room, he froze.</p><p>Standing before him looking like a Greek god was Luke <em>fucking</em> Hemmings dressed in a pair of blood-red boots, flare dress pants, and a long cheetah print jacket buttoned just above his stomach. Luke's chest hair was highlighted by the dramatic V of his jacket and Ashton's mouth watered at the sight.</p><p>Ashton had done his best to ignore Luke for the last two months, but he quickly felt his resolve fading. Whenever Luke would wander into the room that Ashton was in, he'd pretend to be busy or on the phone. It wasn't like Ashton didn't want to see Luke, he just didn't want to talk about what happened <em>that</em> night. When Ashton had come back the next day from Lissa's, he could practically feel the rejection that radiated off of Luke. He could see the pain in his eyes and he knew that he had been caught. Ashton knew that Luke had been awake, but the last thing he wanted to do was have that conversation. So, like all difficult things in his life, Ashton avoided it. For two months Ashton had done his best to avoid all unnecessary eye contact, interaction, or confrontation with Luke, but it seemed as if now it would all be for naught.</p><p>Ashton wanted him. After spending the last couple months apart, Ashton craved Luke like a drug. He yearned to feel Luke's soft skin under his fingertips and to feel the younger boy's tight ring of muscle squeezing the life out of his throbbing cock. As if Ashton's dick wasn't hard enough already, he felt it begin to twitch at the sight of Luke.</p><p>"About time you decided to join us!" Michael slung an arm around Ashton's shoulder and shoved a bottle of Jack into his hand. "We're about to get fucked tonight, boys! Bottoms up, Ash!" Michael cheered as he pushed the bottle to Ashton's lips. Ashton chuckled at Michael's unintentional innuendo, his eyes immediately locking with a blushing Luke.</p><p>"Bottom's up," Ashton said with a smirk as he pressed the bottle to his lips and took a hearty gulp. If he was going to have to spend his night pretending like he didn't want to shove his dick up Luke's ass, he was going to need to get drunk... and fast.</p><p>* * *</p><p>The strobe lights blinded an already drunk Ashton Irwin as he leaned against the bar and nursed his fourth rum and coke of the night. Ashton was usually a happy drunk, he loved to giggle and flirt and have a good time, but not tonight. Tonight Ashton was a sad drunk. Tonight Ashton wanted nothing more than to sulk in the corner of the bar with a pout on his face as he watched the two young brunettes with the ample cleavage giggle and run their dirty little hands all over Luke's chest.</p><p>"Little whores..." Ashton said under his breath as he raised the glass to his lips. He saw the way that Luke was looking at those girls. He could see how uncomfortable he stood and the uneasy smile that he plastered on his lips when they would touch him. Ashton hated when anyone else touched Luke, especially tramps like that.</p><p>Ashton downed the rest of his drink and scoffed as he watched one of the girls reach up on her tiptoes to whisper in Luke's ear. He could tell by the way that she was rubbing her chest against his arm that she wasn't exactly whispering nursery rhymes into his ear, and it took everything in Ashton not to go over there and rip her off of him.</p><p><em>'If only they knew Luke liked dick up his ass'</em> Ashton snorted at his thought as he watched one of the girls try to grind back against Luke's crotch. Ashton's jaw tightened as he watched Luke hesitantly put his hands on the girl's hips, pulling her closer against him as they danced. Ashton knew he was drunk. He was drunk as hell and he was mad at those girls for thinking they could take his Luke away from him.</p><p><em>His Luke</em>.</p><p>The cheetah print jacket clung to Luke's large frame like it was tailored just for him, and Ashton couldn't help but think of how sexy Luke would look in just the coat and a pair of thigh-high stockings. Ashton's cock twitched in his pants and he felt his body begin to heat up like a tea kettle. Ashton had two months' worth of pent up sexual frustration towards Luke that he desperately needed to take care of. He'd missed Luke, god he'd missed that boy's body so badly, and this was just the final straw.</p><p>"That's fucking it!" Ashton snapped as he watched the trashy girl begin to suck a sloppy hickey into the base of Luke's neck. He couldn't take it anymore, no one was allowed to touch his baby boy, not like that.</p><p>"Hey!" Luke protested as Ashton ripped him away from the two girls. Luke and Ashton fumbled along like drunkards as they made their way to the bathroom, Ashton's fingers locked around Luke's wrist. The older man pushed the door to the bathroom open and hurried Luke inside, scanning quickly underneath the stalls to make sure no one was there before he pressed Luke up against the door.</p><p>"Do you know how much time tonight I've spent fantasizing about fucking you in that jacket?" Ashton whispered against Luke's lips as he trailed his hand down Luke's bare chest and across the jacket. "Way too fucking much." He growled before nipping at Luke's bottom lip, connecting their mouths in a kiss that had two months' worth of passion stored up in it.</p><p>"w-we... definitely shouldn't be.... doing this... here..." Luke said in slurred moans as Ashton pulled away from his lips and began trailing kisses down his neck and across his collarbone. Ashton pushed his growing erection into Luke's leg and the younger man couldn't hold back his moans.</p><p>"And that's why we're going to," Ashton smirked against Luke's throat and reached up next to Luke's shoulder to lock the door. Luke whined before Ashton shut him up with a kiss, pressing his body up against the blonde's and locking his hand through his smooth curls. "God I fucking missed you," Ashton groaned out as he rutted himself against Luke's leg. "need you now. Need to bury my dick in that tight little asshole." Luke gasped as Ashton wrapped his hands around Luke's waist and squeezed both of Luke's ass cheeks. Ashton sucked hickeys into Luke's shoulder as his hands fumbled to undo Luke's belt.</p><p>"A-Ash-" Luke moaned out as he twisted his hands in Ashton's hair. "w-we shouldn't be doing this..." Ashton chuckled against Luke's neck as he unbuttoned the other's tight pants and shoved his hand inside.</p><p>"God I've missed your moans, baby boy. Missed feeling you wrapped around my cock... missed tasting that delicious little ass of yours." Luke moaned louder as Ashton raised his hand up to cover Luke's mouth. "Shhh, shhh baby," Ashton laughed as he began to drag his hand along the length of Luke's cock, "gotta be quiet for me right now, but I promise later you can be as loud as you want while I eat that ass."</p><p>"Fuck,"</p><p>Ashton chuckled against Luke's skin as he felt a shiver run through the younger man's spine.</p><p>"Fuck we shouldn't be doing this here. We could get caught," Luke whined as Ashton kissed along his neck.</p><p>"Please, if you didn't want this you would have pushed me off by now, and you definitely wouldn't be rutting against my leg like a bitch in heat. C'mon, Lu. Need you so bad."</p><p>Luke panted as Ashton's hands roamed his body.</p><p>"Okay, fuck, you're right. Need this- need you. Just make it quick."</p><p>"You're so responsive to me," Ashton whispered in awe as he ran his tongue along the shell of Luke's ear. "I've missed that." Before Luke could quip back, Ashton began stroking Luke roughly, twisting just the way Luke liked. When Luke gasped, Ashton took the opportunity to reattach their mouths, sliding his tongue deep into Luke's awaiting mouth. Ashton hastily pushed Luke's pants and briefs down around his knees and started in on his own belt.</p><p>"A-ash-" Luke hesitated again as Ashton roughly pushed him around and led him to bend over the sink next to them. Ashton stood behind Luke and licked his lips as he caught eyes with Luke through the mirrored glass.</p><p>"Gotta be fast, baby, okay? We don't have much time." Ash hushed Luke as he spat into his hand and coated his dick. "Don't have much time to prep..." Luke groaned as Ashton carelessly pushed two fingers deep in him, making Ashton moan when his fingers bottomed out. He'd missed the familiar warmth and tightness that was Luke.</p><p>He pumped his fingers a few times to match the pounding in his ears before pushing in another finger. Ashton's head swam with liquor and lust as he curled his fingers upwards and jabbed at Luke's prostate, earning a sultry moan from the younger boy as he arched his back. "Gotta be quick..." Ashton said lowly as he pulled his fingers out and once again coated his length with spit. He lined his pulsating member up to Luke's stretched out hole, and before Luke could warn him to be careful, he began to fill Luke up. The young singer moaned and arched his back, clutching at the sink until his knuckles turned white. Ashton moaned when he bottomed out, angling his hips and grinding the tip of his member harder against Luke's prostate. Luke let out a broken moan as he clenched around Ashton, and nerves of pleasure shot through Ashton's spine at the feeling.</p><p>"F-fuck Ashton!" Luke cried as Ashton began to thrust into him. Ashton didn't give Luke any time to adjust as the adrenaline and liquor began coursing through his veins. He continued to thrust roughly, the pleasure almost too much to handle as his thighs began to shake.</p><p>"Needed this so bad, Lu. I've dreamt about fucking you for months now." Luke continued to moan as Ashton fucked him deeper. "daddy missed that tight ass of yours, baby boy. Do you know how many times I've wrapped my own hand around my cock while thinking of you? Too many times. Should have been your mouth." Ashton could feel his balls begin to tighten as the strength of his orgasm radiated from his bones. Luke's hole fluttered and Ashton clamped his teeth into Luke's shoulder as his orgasm ripped through his body, his knees shaking as he shot his hot load deep within the younger boy.</p><p>Ashton continued to thrust into Luke despite how overstimulated he felt, and he wrapped his large hand around Luke's cock, tugging and twisting the tip the way he knew could make Luke come in a matter of seconds. With a final gasp, Luke came all over Ashton's hand and collapsed onto his elbows over the sink. Ashton felt his dick soften and he pulled himself out of the blonde shakily. Luke continued to pant over the sink as Ashton wetted a handful of paper towels and began cleaning the pair up.</p><p>"That was..." Luke breathed out as he looked up through the mirror to lock eyes with the older boy.</p><p>"Yeah," Ashton chuckled as he pulled his pants up his thighs and began buckling his belt. Luke smiled lazily as he too began to redress. Ashton was working on buttoning up his shirt when he felt Luke's shaking fingers brush along his own.</p><p>"Let me," Luke said quietly as he bit his lip and Ashton watched as a blush blossomed along his cheeks. The drumer watched hesitantly as Luke began buttoning his shirt with ample attention.</p><p>"So, uh-"</p><p>"I like you." Luke blurted out, his eyes going wide before recovering quickly and looking away. "I-I like you, a lot." He said a bit quieter, and Ashton heard his own sharp intake of breath.</p><p>It was quiet as both boys stood and tried to process what Luke had just said. Ashton's head began to swim. He didn't know what he could possibly say. His gut twisted, whether in guilt or shame he didn't know. Did Luke like him, like <em>really </em>like him? Ashton felt a pang of fear run through his chest.</p><p>Ashton loved Luke, of course he did, but he wasn't <em>in love </em>with him... was he?</p><p>Ashton loved sex, and he loved sex with his best friend. He didn't think that made him gay. Sure, he craved Luke, craved him as he had never craved any food before, but that didn't mean he was <em>gay</em>. He<em> loved </em>Luke, but he was <em>in love </em>with Lissa. He was <em>in love</em> with women, he only <em>loved </em>men.</p><p>"I- but- uh, I mean- <em>Lissa</em>...." When the name left Ashton's lips he instantly regretted it as he watched Luke's expression harden. Ashton could have sworn he saw the glimmer behind Luke's aquamarine gaze fizzle out. </p><p>"Lissa." The name sounded like acid coming from Luke's lips, and Ashton cringed.</p><p>"Luke, I-" Ashton wanted to explain, he wanted Luke to understand, but Luke just laughed.</p><p>"I'm a fucking idiot," Luke said, running his hands through his hair and tugging at the roots. Ashton tried to ignore the nausea rising in his throat. His vision was blurring and he was about to hit the peak of his drunkenness at the absolute worst time. "I can't fucking believe I thought you'd changed!"</p><p>Ashton had only ever seen Luke this angry a handful of times before. Luke wasn't one to get angry, so when he did there was no doubt that it was absolutely terrifying. He could tell Luke had been bottling this up for a while, and just like the pressure from a shaken up can of carbonated soda, Luke finally exploded. "You know what, Ashton?" Luke took in a shaky breath and whipped around to face his bandmate. "I'm done. And yeah, I know I say that a lot, but this time? This time I fucking mean it. You treat me like your personal fuck toy and I'm sick of it! You want to go on seeing anyone you'd like while I stay locked up, your filthy little secret because you can't handle the thought of anyone else being with me. But you don't want me yourself, do you? Am I never allowed to be happy? Do you just want me to be miserable my whole damn life if it means you get to keep on using me as a cum dumpster? Fucking hell, Calum's right, I don't deserve to be treated like this." Ashton reached out to grab Luke but he jerked away.</p><p>"Luke, please I-"</p><p>"I don't want to hear it anymore Ashton! You've treated me like shit for so long and I put up with it! What the hell is wrong with me?" Luke scoffed as he made his way to the door, quickly throwing it open.</p><p>"Wait, Luke, seriously-" Ashton yelled out as the loud disco tech of the club vibrated off of the dark walls. Before Ashton could stop him, Luke was stalking out of the bathroom and making his way across the club. Michael and Calum looked on in surprised confusion as Ashton went running after Luke, but they didn't follow. "Luke, please!" Ashton's voice cracked as Luke exited the door and a million flashing lights began dancing through their vision. In every direction, photographers were snapping picture after picture as Luke fumed through the crowd and began hailing down a taxi. "Luke!" Ashton cried when he finally managed to grab ahold of Luke's arm and turn him around.</p><p>"What now, Ashton? What could you possibly have to say to me?" Ashton's heart raced like a track horse in his chest as he tried to make sense of everything going on. The twinkling of stars danced before his eyes as flash after flash lit up the inky sky. Ashton's head pounded and his hands shook as he gripped Luke's bicep harder. Ashton stared in wonder at the way in which Luke's skin glittered under all of the lights. He examined the way in which the muscles in Luke's neck constricted as he swallowed. Luke was just so goddamned beautiful, and Ashton once again couldn't help himself.</p><p>Before he could even process what he was doing, Ashton gripped Luke's arm tighter and pulled the younger boy against his chest, locking their lips in a passionate embrace. Ashton kissed Luke as he had never kissed him before, with so much emotion and meaning that he began to get dizzy. Ashton didn't know why he had the sudden urge to kiss Luke, he just did. He couldn't let Luke just walk out of his life like that. He needed to do something. He was desperate, and Luke was beautiful. </p><p>Luke froze against Ashton's lips, roughly pushing against Ashton's chest and away from the drummer. Ashton opened his eyes to see a glassy-eyed Luke staring around in a panic at all of the cameras, two fingers pressed against his lips. He could almost feel the anxiety filling Luke's chest, and his stomach immediately began to contort into knots. Ashton's heart dropped as the haze of liquor momentarily lifted from his mind and he was able to comprehend what he had just done.</p><p>Ashton's eyes grew to the size of tennis balls as he reached out for Luke, but the young singer jumped away from his touch. The shame and hatred blazed brightly behind Luke's eyes and Ashton could tell he was just trying to hold it together for the paparazzi. The minute Ashton had reached out and grabbed Luke, the photographers began with their torrent of questions, and the sound was almost deafening by the time Luke pulled away from Ashton's kiss.</p><p>"Stay away from me," Luke whispered, and that's when Ashton's heart shattered. When Luke was angry, he got loud. When Luke was quiet... well, there was no turning back. "I mean it." A single tear ran down Luke's cheek and he did his best to duck away from the swarming cameras as he wiped it away. He looked up one last time, locking his icy glare to Ashton's own regret-filled eyes.</p><p>"I hate you." Ashton stood frozen to his spot as Luke pushed through the crowd of photographers and jumped into the nearest taxi, leaving Ashton standing in the middle of a hundred flashing cameras with tingling lips and what oddly enough felt like a broken heart.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter Thirteen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Luke, I know Ashton's been a total cock to you, but you're going to have to face him eventually! The album comes out in, like, three months, and then you're going to have no choice but to talk to him. Why not do it on your own terms?" Michael tossed a cold bottle of beer to Luke as he entered Calum's living room and not so gracefully collapsed on the couch. It had been three weeks since the kiss, and Luke had been crashing in Calum's guest room, ignoring all of his messages.</p><p>After Luke and Ashton's lip lock had graced every front page of the tabloid magazines, Luke had no choice but to come clean to Michael about everything that had been going on over the last year. Michael was furious when the baby of the band revealed the dirty truth to him, and Luke had to practically restrain the guitarist from driving over to Ashton's apartment and kicking his ass. Since then, all three boys had been avoiding contact with Ashton, but as the release date of their third album grew closer, Mike and Calum had started pressuring Luke to talk to him.</p><p>"Yeah, Mike has a point, Lu," Calum cleared his throat before leaning back and placing an arm around the back of the white leather couch, "if you don't knock that prick's teeth in then I'll gladly do it for you." Luke sighed, pressing pause on the Xbox controller he held and tossing it to the side in order to crack open the beer.</p><p>"He's not a prick, Cal, he was just scared..." Luke trailed off as he brought the bottle up and wet his lips with the bitter drink. Of course, when Ashton had first kissed Luke in front of a hundred flashing cameras, Luke had been pissed. He wanted nothing more than to scream and cry and yank his hair out by the roots. </p><p>He hated the devilish drummer with every fiber of his being. But as the weeks went on and Luke spent night after night replaying the moment Ashton's plump lips smashed against his own, Luke came to the realization that Ashton hadn't meant to hurt him. Ashton would never intentionally hurt Luke, he couldn't. Ashton was hurting, and he panicked.</p><p>If anything, in a sick and twisted way, the kiss made Luke realize just how much Ashton truly cared for him. In Ashton's deluded mind, outing what they had was the only way he had any chance of keeping Luke close. It was crazy, but that's just how Ashton's mind worked, and Luke was beginning to understand that.</p><p>"Luke, are you fucking kidding me?" Calum laughed in disbelief, tossing his empty bottle down with a clank. "He's been nothing but a manipulative asshole to you from the moment this whole <em>thing</em> began! He was taking advantage of you, Luke. He was using you for his own twisted gain. He didn't care how you felt for one minute! Stop trying to make yourself believe that he did. He only cares about himself."</p><p>"You don't know him the way that I do, neither of you does," Luke said in a hush as he took another sip from his bottle. Michael sighed before scooting closer to the brokenhearted boy and throwing his arm around his shoulder.</p><p>"Luke, you're not thinking straight. Ashton has you wrapped around his finger, can't you see the damage he's already caused? You're not the same guy you were before." Luke felt the anger bubbling up inside of his chest at Michae's words. He knew that his friends were just trying to help, but he hated how they spoke about Ashton. Even after everything Ashton had done to him, Luke still had an unbelievable urge to protect him.</p><p>"Before? Oh, you mean the Luke that was too fucking depressed to get out of bed for days on end? The one who wouldn't sleep or eat or shower? The same Luke who was strung out on coffee and Xanax for months? You want him back? You mean to tell me <em>that </em>Luke was better? Ashton might have treated me like trash sometimes, but at the end of the day, he helped me find myself. He's the one that put me back together, and even though he drove me fucking mental, when I was with him I was still ten times happier than I was with Arz. I thought I knew what love was with her? Fuck that I was so damn stupid! That wasn't love. <em>This </em>is what love feels like. This fucking hole in my chest because no matter how much of an ass he is, I still fucking love him." Luke finished with a huff, crossing his arms and slouching further into the couch before realization finally dawned on him as to what he just said.</p><p>"Luke," Calum sighed, the protectiveness behind his chocolate eyes melting into pity. Luke felt his limbs beginning to shake, whether, in fear or nerves, he had no idea. This was the first time he had ever let himself admit to how Ashton made him feel. This was the first time he had let the word <em>love</em> cross his mind when talking about Ashton, and even though it shocked him to the core, a part of him wasn't surprised. </p><p>He knew that as scary as it was to admit, it was true. Luke <em>loved</em> Ashton. Of course, he'd known for a long time that he liked Ashton, but he had never admitted to the very real possibility of <em>loving</em> him. And now that he had, he felt like the weight of a boulder had been lifted off of his chest.</p><p>"Luke, we didn't mean-" Luke could faintly hear Michael and Calum rambling on in the background, but the only sound that rang prominently through Luke's ears was the roaring of his blood and the whooshing of his heartbeat. His vision began to spin.</p><p>"I, uh-" Luke pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. He furrowed his eyebrows and cleared the lump from his throat, trying his hardest not to let the tears that were forming behind his eyelids slip. "fuck, <em>fuck</em>!" He yelled out, letting his head drop back as he stared at the ceiling. His friends had grown silent as they waited for him to say something, <em>anything </em>to diffuse the situation. Luke's mind was swimming and his vision blurred as he jumped to his feet and threw on his jacket. "I need to go."</p><p>"Luke, what? Wait, where are you going?" Calum panicked as Luke pulled on his converse and grabbed his keys from the side table near the door.</p><p>"I, I just need to go," Luke said as he wiped away the few tears that had managed to sneak through.</p><p>"Luke, wait! Just calm down a minute, yeah?" Luke could hear the worry in Michael's voice as he tried to reason with him, but Luke was passed the point of rationality. He needed to be alone. </p><p>"N-no. No, I can't." Luke sniffled as his heart constricted in his chest. He felt like he was about to burst from pain and embarrassment as the realization finally hit him. He loved Ashton. He was <em>in love </em>with <em>Ashton Irwin. </em></p><p>Before Michael or Calum could protest anymore, Luke slipped out the door, running out into the freezing rain and letting the cold droplets clear his mind as he walked. He wasn't sure where he was going, he just knew that he needed to getaway.</p><p>* * *</p><p>"Fuck, <em>fuck!" </em>Calum whined as he tugged at his raven locks while pacing the floor. This was not how he expected their night to go. "I can't believe he- did he really say that he- <em>oh my God, </em>Michael! What the fuck are we supposed to do?"</p><p>Michael sighed as he grabbed his cell phone off of the coffee table and dialed the familiar number.</p><p>"What are you doing?!" Calum said in a panic as he attempted to snatch the cell phone out of Michael's hand. Michael pushed the Kiwi boy back, holding the phone up high in the air as it rang. "You can't call him!" Calum hissed as Michael pressed the phone to his ear, and Calum groaned as he heard the voice of their drummer on the other end.</p><p>"Ash?" Michael started, clearing his throat before meeting Calum's worried eyes, "You need to get over to Calum's right now. It's Luke. He ran off... again." </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter Fourteen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been three weeks since Ashton last laid eyes on Luke. Three weeks since Ashton had felt Luke's soft lips against his own. Three whole weeks since he'd wrapped the younger boy in his arms and held him tight. Three weeks since Ashton had last felt a drop of happiness.</p><p>Of course, Ashton had spent the rest of that night getting completely and totally wasted to the point where he ended up having to call Mitchy just to get home. He refused to think about what he had done. He didn't want to think about how this possibly ruined not only his relationship with Luke but the band's relationship as well. The guilt nearly swallowed Ashton whole, so he spent the night drowning his sorrows in shot after shot of bourbon and trying to ignore the aching gash in his chest made by Luke's parting words: <em>I hate you.</em></p><p>The morning after the incident, Ashton woke up with a pounding headache and the same pain in his chest from the night before. The bitter taste of regret filled Ashton's mouth, and he scrambled into his bathroom where he proceeded to vomit up every last remanence of the night before.</p><p>Ashton felt like actual death as he spent the majority of the morning draped over his toilet, but he knew that was what he deserved after what he had done.</p><p>Three weeks. Three goddamn weeks since he saw those crystal blue eyes that he craved so deeply. Three weeks since he had gotten to run his hands through the singer's bouncy curls.</p><p>Of course, he had tried calling. He had left a voicemail every single day Luke had been gone, and like expected, every one of his calls went unanswered. The only reason Ashton wasn't freaking out over his disappearance was that the next day he received a single text from Calum saying:<em> Luke's with me. Fuck you, asshole. </em></p><p>Ashton groaned as he sprawled out on the couch, beer bottle balancing between his legs as he flipped through channels. He didn't know why he was attempting to take his mind off of Luke, he knew that there was no way some stupid tv show could wipe the haunting image of Luke's tear-filled eyes from his mind. He settled on an old rerun channel playing early episodes of Seinfeld and downed the rest of his beer before running his hands down his face. No matter what he did, he couldn't stop the ache in his chest from growing deeper and deeper day after day.</p><p>Ashton glanced at the broken picture frame that lay mangled on the hardwood floor and sighed. As much as it hurt Ashton to look at the glass-framed picture of him and Luke, the memory of Lissa's last words hurt more.</p><p>
  <em>"Do you think I'm a fucking idiot, Ashton?" Lissa's voice hissed as she threw down the magazine on the kitchen countertop. "How could you do this to me? To us?" The tears glistened on Lissa's cheeks and she swiped the back of her hand under her eyes. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Lissa, listen it was a mistake, I didn't mean-" </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"To hurt me? Or to hurt Luke?" Lissa's voice dropped as she finished her question and she finally lifted her eyes to meet Ashton's. He could see the disappointment that filled her bright blue eyes with tears, and he felt his stomach twist in knots. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"It's not like that, Lis, it didn't mean anything!" The words tasted sour coming out of his mouth. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Ashton, I'm not dumb. I've seen the videos of the kiss online. You don't just kiss someone like that and not mean it!" Lissa's tone was harsh and Ashton saw the pain lurking behind her eyes as she pursed her lips. "You are such a fucking jerk Ashton. Not only did you humiliate me, but did you even think for a second what you did to Luke? No, you didn't. Because you only ever think about yourself." Ashton was speechless. He let his eyes linger on his feet. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You're such a goddamn coward, you can't even look at me!" Lissa laughed, throwing her arms in the air as she stalked out of the kitchen and made her way towards the front door. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Lis, please, we can work this out! Let's just talk about this." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What's there left to talk about, Ashton? You're a narcissistic asshole that can't think of anyone but himself! You've embarrassed me, you've embarrassed Luke, and you've embarrassed yourself. Just answer me this one question," Lissa's voice dropped down to a whisper as she blotted at her mascara stained cheeks. "Did you ever really love me?" </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I-" Ashton felt the words catch in his throat as he looked up to meet Lissa's eyes. Ashton stared at her, taking in every last detail of her face. He studied the way her blonde hair hung like curtains around her soft heart-shaped face, and the soft pink curve of her bowed lips. He stared at her, wishing that he could say those three words, the three simple words that came so easily to him only a year ago. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>As Ashton stared at the girl that he used to love, he couldn't help but wonder what happened. And as he gazed into her big watery blue eyes, the same hurt eyes that he had stared into three weeks prior stared back at him. He finally began to understand. Lissa's smooth blonde hair wasn't the rough curls he wanted to be grasping, her soft pink lips weren't the slightest bit chapped like the lips he yearned for, and her smooth jaw wasn't covered in a grizzly stubble that left a burn against his skin. All in all, Lissa wasn't Luke. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I do, I did... I...." Ashton trailed off as he gripped at the roots of his hair. He wanted to say it. He desperately wanted to be able to say those three little words that would make everything okay, but he couldn't. For the life of him, Ashton could not tell Lissa that he loved her, and every time he tried to force the words out, Luke's hurt expression from that night appeared behind his eyes. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"That's what I thought," Lissa said quietly. She took a look around the apartment before picking up the photo of Ashton and Luke from the side table. Ashton could see the pain she was hiding behind her eyes, but nonetheless she smiled down at the picture. "I remember taking this photo. You both were so happy that day." Lissa smiled as she ran her fingers over the smooth glass. It was silent, neither of them knew what to say. </em>
</p><p>
  <em><br/>"Goodbye, Ashton," Lissa said as she set the photo in Ashton's hands and grabbed her coat from the hook by the door, leaving without a second glance. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Fuck," Ashton grumbled as he gripped the photo in his hands. He remembered the day it had been taken just like it was yesterday. The guys, Crystal, and Lissa had spent the day at the beach, and Lissa had insisted Luke and Ashton take a picture as they were wearing matching sunglasses. The sun was shining down on the two boys as they had their arms wrapped around each other, smiles stretching from ear to ear when Lissa snapped the picture. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ashton felt the anger boiling up in his veins, and before he could process what his muscles were doing, he threw the framed glass with all of his strength against the wall, watching as it shattered into a million glittering pieces all over the floor. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Fuck, fuck." Is all that Ashton could say as he fell to his knees. The first of his tears slipped down his cheek. The scalding tear trickled down his skin, leaving a burn like battery acid in its wake. Ashton felt the glass crunch beneath his knees and cut into his skin, but the pain was nothing compared to the pain he felt tearing at his soul. He felt the glass dig into his palms as he picked up the picture in shaking hands, letting blood drip onto the photo. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>As Ashton stared at the photo from half a year ago, he couldn't help but notice that the smile actually met his eyes. The way that he looked up at Luke made Ashton's blood grow cold in his veins and his breath catch in his throat as he realized maybe, just maybe, he felt something more than friendship for his best friend. </em>
</p><p>As Ashton stared at the photo still shattered across the floor, he couldn't help the bile that rose in his throat. Within seconds, Ashton was racing across his apartment and throwing himself once again over the rim of his toilet, spilling the contents of his stomach, as well as his feelings, into the porcelain bowl. Ashton choked and spluttered into the toilet, spitting and shuddering as he wiped his mouth and stood on shaky legs to flush the contents away. Letting his feelings swirl away down the pipes, Ashton splashed cold water on his face and stared at himself in the mirror.</p><p>The Ashton staring back was one that he no longer recognized. Dark puffy circles rimmed his bloodshot eyes, and the usual glowing tan of his skin was lost to a translucent shell. Every crease and wrinkle and pockmark was highlighted in the fluorescent lighting, and Ashton's cracked lips had lost their shine.</p><p>Ashton hated his reflection. He hated the self-centered jerk that stared back at him, and he couldn't help but wonder how he had gotten to this point in his life. Here he was, 24 years old, alone and heartbroken, and he had no one to blame but himself. Over the last three weeks without Luke, Ashton had come to a startling and scary realization: he had feelings for Luke, feelings so strong that he was scared of admitting to them. What he felt was absolutely terrifying, and it kept him up at night just thinking about what happened if he was too late.</p><p>The shrill sound of Ashton's cell phone broke him out of his self-loathing trance, and he hung his head as he dug his phone out of his pocket, putting it up to his ear without a second glance. </p><p>"Hello?" Ashton croaked out. He could hear shuffling on the other end before a familiar voice crackled through the speaker.</p><p>"Ash? You need to get over to Calum's right now. It's Luke. He ran off... again."</p><p>* * *</p><p>"You're really fucking lucky that I'm too worried about Luke to kick your ass right now," Calum grumbled as Ashton walked through the door of his apartment.</p><p>"Look, I'm beating myself up enough right now as it is, can we focus on the problem at hand, please?" Ashton sighed, running a frazzled hand through his hair. "Did he say anything before he left?"</p><p>"Do you think we would have called you if we had any idea where he was?" Michael rolled his eyes as he sat down on the couch, anxiously bouncing his knee and biting at his thumbnail.</p><p>"Can you stop acting like I'm the fucking antichrist for two seconds?" Ashton whipped around to face his bandmates. "Did I fuck up? Yes. I'm not denying that. But right now, Luke is missing and off doing god knows what, god knows where, and we need to find him! We don't want a repeat of what happened last time, do we?" Ashton asked, the image of a drugged up, heartbroken Luke stumbling along the edge of the pier after breaking up with Arz making them all shudder. "I care about him, okay? We all do..." Ashton trailed off as he plopped down into the armchair in the corner of the room. "By the way, what made him run off all of a sudden?"</p><p>Ashton caught the look that Michael and Calum shared and furrowed his eyebrows.</p><p>"Okay... What am I missing?" Calum and Michael avoided Ashton's gaze and he knew they were hiding something from him. "Look, I know neither of you wants to look at me right now, hell, I don't even want to look at myself, but our friend is missing and we need to find him. So what the hell made him run off this time?"</p><p>Silence fell between the three bandmates as Calum and Michael silently fought over who would be the one to tell Ashton. Finally, Calum groaned, throwing his head back and rubbing at his eyes.</p><p>"Fuck it, fine!" Calum sighed before turning to face Ashton, "We were talking about you, okay? Luke was defending your ass even though you didn't deserve it because that's just the goddamn angel he is, and he realized something about his feelings that kinda scared him off..." Calum trailed off as he averted his gaze from Ashton's and felt a blush crawling up his neck.</p><p>"W-What did he realize?" Ashton swallowed thickly as he played with the bracelets on his wrist.</p><p>"It's not our place to say," Mike chimed in as he too looked away.</p><p>"What could Luke have possibly realized that would have made him-" just as the words left Ashton's lips, the realization hit him like a goddamn brick. Ashton's mind flashed back to the last night with Luke in the club when Luke had told Ashton that he liked him. What if Luke liked Ashton more than he had let on? What if- "No..." Ashton shook his head from side to side. "He can't, I mean, we aren't- fuck!" Ashton felt his heartbeat quicken in his chest and his breathing picked up speed.</p><p>"This is, uh... kind of a lot to process," Ashton said as he began pacing the floor.</p><p>"Look, Ashton, it really isn't our place to talk about this, this is a conversation for you and Luke," Michael said as he stood up and placed a hand on Ashton's shoulders.</p><p>"I'm so fucking confused. I never meant for any of this to happen," Ashton whispered as the tears began to roll down his cheeks. "I never meant for it to be anything more than just sex, you know? But then when Luke told me that he liked me, and Lis asked me if I loved her and I couldn't say it, I realized that it was too late..." the room fell quiet as Ashton threw himself down on the couch between his two friends, tired after letting go of the pent up emotion he had been feeling over the last three weeks.</p><p>"Ashton, mate, what exactly are you saying?" Calum questioned as he ran a sympathetic hand across Ashton's back.</p><p>"I, uh," Ashton swallowed, terror seizing his chest as he worked up the courage to let the words out. "I- I think I might like Luke?"</p><p>Silence once again fell upon the room as the three boys let the impact of Ashton's words sink in.</p><p>"Ashton-" Michael started to break the silence but was quickly stopped by the sound of Ashton's cellphone shrilling in his pocket. Ashton pulled it out and did a double-take when he saw Luke's contact photo pop up.</p><p>"Luke, baby where are-" Ashton listened intently as the voice on the other end spoke up. Sniffles and hiccups could be heard through the phone. "Okay, okay I'll be there in 10 minutes, sit tight." Ashton ended the call, stuffed his phone into his pocket, and threw his jacket back on.</p><p>"Woah, hold up. Ash, where are you going? Where's Luke?"</p><p>"At our hideout." Ashton mumbled before running out the door and to his car. He jumped in, not even bothering to buckle his seatbelt as he raced down the streets and through yellow lights towards the only place in the city that meant anything to him.</p><p>It took Ashton a record-breaking eight minutes until he was driving up the winding road overlooking the city. The sun was just starting to set, and the cold mist of rain that was falling created a beautiful rainbow above. If it had been any other night, he probably would have taken the time to admire the painted sky as he drove, but not tonight. Tonight he just had to get to his baby boy.</p><p>Ashton rolled the car up to the usual spot behind the bushes and threw the car in park. He jumped out of the car as fast as he possibly could. Ashton walked along the metal fence, pushing aside the broken chainlink in the corner which allowed him to slip effortlessly to the other side. Luke's shadow could be seen from the bottom of the hill, and it only encouraged Ashton to run faster.</p><p>Ashton was panting and nearly soaked to the bone as he reached the top of the hill, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was Luke who was leaning against the large 'D' of the Hollywood sign that towered above him.</p><p>"Lu," Ashton breathed out when he finally caught his breath, and Luke's head whipped around to lock eyes with Ashton. Luke's curls were plastered to his forehead from the rain and his eyes were puffy from what Ashton could only assume was hours of uncontrolled sobs.</p><p>"Do you remember this place?"</p><p>"Of course I do," Ashton breathed out, cautiously walking closer to the young boy as he shoved his hands in his jacket pockets. "This is where I used to go when I was homesick when we first moved here. From up here the city lights reminded me of Sydney. I remember taking you here after you moved in with me, that night when we..." Ashton trailed off as he remembered the night he took Luke to his secret hiding place, giggling like school children as they snuck up with a bottle of Jack and a warm blanket. Luke had ridden Ashton that night, and Ashton remembered telling the younger boy just how beautiful he looked against the city skyline.</p><p>"I'm still so fucking mad at you," Luke whispered as Ashton walked closer.</p><p>"I know, I'm still mad at me too," Ashton said as he placed one of his hands on Luke's waist and the other cupped his cheek gently.</p><p>"I don't deserve to be treated like that." Luke hiccuped as a single tear ran down his cheek and his lip began to quiver. Ashton shook his head, running his thumb along Luke's cheek and catching the small tear on the pad of his thumb.</p><p>"I know baby, no one deserves to be treated like that. I'm a fucking asshole."</p><p>"You are."</p><p>"I am." Ashton nodded, squeezing Luke's hip gently.</p><p>"You're a fucking asshole and yet I still love you and I hate myself for that." Ashton's breath caught in his throat and his thumb stopped stroking Luke's cheek as his eyes widened.</p><p>"L-Luke-"</p><p>"No, let me talk." Ashton swallowed, nodding his head as he looked up into Luke's eyes. The ocean blue that he had been missing the last three weeks were now ringed in red but were still just as beautiful. "I know you don't feel the same way, and I swear to God I never meant for any of this to happen, but somehow I fell for you. You treated me like gum on the bottom of your shoe and I still love you. You used me whenever you felt like it and then threw me away when I no longer was useful to you. It hurt Ashton, it fucking hurt. And if you didn't hurt me enough, you had to go and kiss me in front of the whole damn world." Ashton's stomach twisted as he was reminded of just how vile he had been to the younger boy. "You ruined me, Ashton," Luke said, his voice cracking on the drummer's name. "You ruined me, yet I still fucking love you."</p><p>Ashton watched as Luke's boost of confidence began to fall away with his pre-planned speech, and Ashton took the opportunity to dip Luke's head down and press his lips gently against the other's. Luke tasted like the ocean. He tasted like salt and warmth and wildness and Ashton couldn't get enough. Ashton almost sighed at the feeling of having Luke's lips against his again, and if he had been confused before, he wasn't anymore. Luke grasped handfuls of Ashton's hair in his hands and pressed his lips more roughly against Ashton's, putting all of his love and pain and anger into the kiss. The boys kissed until there was no breath to share between the two of them, and when they broke away, Ashton felt the rush of adrenaline pulsing through his veins like wildfire.</p><p>"Luke, I-" Ashton cleared his throat, pressing his shaking hands against Luke's stubble covered cheeks and tilting his head to look into the older boy's eyes. "I'm scared. I'm so fucking scared of how I'm feeling right now, and I'm so unbelievably confused. All I know is that when I'm not with you, I'm not the person that I want to be. You make me a better person, and I crave you every second of every day. I know it's going to take a lot to get you to forgive me, hell, I can't even forgive myself quite yet, but- but I hope that I can make it up to you someday. I'm not as strong as you, I'm not ready to admit how I'm feeling about you quite yet because honestly, I don't really understand it myself. I've never felt anything like it before and it's scary as hell. All I know is that when Lissa asked me if I loved her, I couldn't say it. Because the only thing that came to my mind when I was with her was you. I need you, Lu. I need you like I need air to breathe and music to live." Ashton wiped away the tears that were now streaming down Luke's cheeks and he leaned in to kiss the corner of Luke's mouth. "I'm not me without you."</p><p>Luke's eyes softened, and he hiccuped before smashing his lips against Ashton's once again. Ashton's chest filled with warmth as Luke moved his lips shakily against Ashton's, and he could feel his own tears begin to slip down his eyes as he buried his face into Luke's neck, kissing the soft skin and inhaling the sweet, musky scent that he had missed so much.</p><p>"Ash?" Luke's wobbly voice broke through the silence moments later and Ashton hummed against Luke's neck. "W-what does this mean? For us?" Ashton stopped, focusing only on the sound of the rain against the surrounding trees and the thrum of Luke's heart against his chest.</p><p>"Honestly?" Ashton sighed out, pulling away from Luke and beginning to fiddle with the necklaces that hung around Luke's long neck. "I have no fucking clue." Luke chuckled, tightening his grip around Ashton's waist and hugging him tightly against his chest. A beautiful silence filled the moment as the boys shared a private embrace at the base of the Hollywood sign.</p><p>"Ash?"</p><p>"What is it, baby boy?" Luke hid his face into Ashton's neck and sighed.</p><p>"I'm scared." Ashton chuckled, grasping Luke's face in between his large hands and he brushing their lips together.</p><p>"me too. We'll just have to learn how this works, together." </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter Fifteen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Take me home" Luke panted against Ashton's lips as he tangled his hands into the older boy's hair. Ashton groaned, nodding without hesitation as he grabbed Luke's hand and rushed them down the hill and back to his car. Luke moaned as Ashton wasted no time in pushing him up against the passenger side door and pressing his growing erection against Luke's leg. "Eager much?" He gasped as Ashton attached his lips to the younger boy's neck and began sucking. A gasp left Luke's lips as Ashton nipped just above his collarbone, surely leaving a mark.</p><p>"I haven't felt that tight ass in nearly a month. Do you know what that's done to me? I've been going fucking crazy without you, princess." Luke whimpered as Ashton trailed his lips up the length of his neck and sucked at his earlobe.</p><p>"P-please let's just g-go home." Luke panted, grasping around blindly for the door handle behind him and disconnecting their kiss long enough to yank the door open. Ashton nodded impatiently and ran around to the driver's side, climbing into the car and starting it as quickly as he could.</p><p>The fifteen-minute ride back to Ashton's apartment was torture for the drummer as Luke ran his hand Ashton's crotch, fingers dancing over the tip of Ashton's aching cock. The drive dragged on for what felt like hours as Luke teased and played with Ashton's erection through his tight jeans, and Ashton couldn't help the guttural moans that escaped his mouth every time Luke fondled his balls.</p><p>"Baby boy, if you keep doing that I'm going to cum in my pants." Ashton's breathing became ragged as he swatted Luke's hands away from his crotch and tried his best to concentrate on the road. Luke's phone buzzed from the cupholder between them and Ashton looked at Luke from the corner of eye. Luke sighed, reaching over and picking up the phone to glance at the caller I.D. With a groan, Luke silenced it and threw it on to the floor.</p><p>"Who was that?" Ashton asked, turning back to focus on getting them home safely.</p><p>"Cal," Luke said with a shrug, turning his attention back to Ashton. "I don't really feel like talking right now though, I'd much rather have your cock in my mouth."</p><p>"God fucking dammit," Ashton groaned, his grip on the steering wheel tightening as his cock throbbed in his jeans.</p><p>The last five minutes of the drive were agony for Ashton as he kept glancing over to see Luke rubbing his own erection, and all Ashton wanted to do was push the young singer's hands away and replace them with his own. Finally, Ashton managed to safely pull into the parking garage of their apartment complex and yank Luke out of the car at an inhuman speed.</p><p>"God I've fucking missed you," Ashton whispered against Luke's lips as he closed the apartment door and pressed the younger boy against it. Luke only whimpered in response, grasping Ashton's face between his hands and kissing him as if it were his lifeline.</p><p>"Missed you so much, Ash." Luke finally managed to pant out between kisses, his eyes roam around the once familiar apartment as Ashton sucked on his neck. "Jesus, Ash." Luke chuckled as he took in the disheveled room around him. Take out containers and empty beer bottles littered the floor, and Ashton's wrinkled clothing lay strewn across almost every surface. "This place is a fucking mess."</p><p>"Yeah I know," Ashton mumbled against Luke's neck, letting his lips trail lower and lower as he got down on to his knees and began removing Luke's belt. "I'm a mess without you baby boy." Before Luke could even open his mouth to respond, Ashton was pulling down Luke's briefs and placing the tip of his leaking cock in his watering mouth.</p><p>"Fuck, fuck!" Luke cried out as his fingers tangled in Ashton's hair to keep from collapsing at the feeling of Ashton's hot mouth wrapped around his length. Luke whimpered and Ashton couldn't help the growing heat that coiled in his stomach knowing that he was the only one that could make Luke feel this good. Ashton circled his tongue around Luke's tip before pulling off with a pop and beginning to trail his spit covered fingers up the length of Luke's bare thigh.</p><p>"I love the noises that you make, baby. I've missed them so much." Ashton spoke hotly against Luke's skin. "I love that I'm the only one that can make you feel this good." Ashton pushed Luke's cheeks apart and let his index finger circle around the younger boy's fluttering hole. The soft mewls and moans that the younger boy made as he pressed himself against Ashton's long finger were intoxicating.</p><p>"A-ash, please," Luke whined as he tried pressing himself further down on Ashton's finger.</p><p>"Patience is a virtue, Lu," Ashton smirked as he pulled his hand away from between Luke's cheeks, earning a groan from the blonde. "I want to take my time with you tonight. Want to please you, want to taste you." Ashton leaned in, licking a bold stripe from the base to the tip of Luke's cock and Luke couldn't help the shudder that ran up his spine. "Can I make you feel good, Lu?" Ashton whispered against Luke's skin, and even though Ashton meant for it to come across as sultry and seductive, Luke could see the uncertainty and hesitation in the drummer's eyes. Luke ran his hand through Ashton's waves, lifting the older boy's stubble covered chin so that he could look into those beautiful hazel eyes that he had missed so much.</p><p>"Please, Ash, I need you." The insecurity behind Ashton's eyes quickly vanished and was replaced in a matter of moments by pure lust as Ashton swept Luke up into his arms and practically ran to his bedroom.</p><p>In a matter of minutes, Ashton had stripped Luke of his clothes and laid him down on his large mattress.</p><p>"God I've missed this body," Ashton said against Luke's skin as he trailed wet kisses down his chest. Luke's breathing was irregular, coming out in short pants as Ashton gripped Luke's thigh and hoisted it on to his shoulder. As long as Luke and Ashton had been messing around, Luke had never known Ashton to be so careful and hesitant, treating Luke like he was irreplaceable china. The care Ashton felt was clear through the soft caresses and gentle strokes when he touched Luke, and as much as Luke loved this new emotional and soft side of Ashton, he couldn't help but miss the way that his rough calloused hands used to bruise his porcelain hips.</p><p>"Ashton, please," Luke whined, throwing his head back into the plush pillows and fisting the sheets between his fingers. "stop being so gentle, you've never acted like this before!" Ashton felt his gut twist at the realization that Luke was right. In all of the time that they had been together, Ashton had never once taken the time to truly appreciate Luke's naked form. Ashton could have kicked himself for this.</p><p>As he stared at Luke laying sprawled out across his wrinkled sheets, he couldn't help his jaw slackening as he took in the angelic image in front of him. His heart skipped a beat at the way the younger boy's wild curls lay strewn across the pillows in a freshly fucked manner, and the way that his pale skin appeared to be almost pearly in the moonlight that was beginning to peek through the window. Ashton let his eyes wander over Luke's form, drinking in the soft, almost feminine curves of his hips and the sensual patches of golden blonde hair that lay splattered across his chest and down his stomach. Ashton watched as Luke's milky thighs jiggled with every movement and the pink ring of muscle between his legs clenched and unclenched with the cold air of the room. Ashton practically drooled as he took in all of Luke, noticing the small details that he had never once thought about before, like how Luke's pink asshole matched deliciously with the tip of his throbbing cock and his parted lips that just begged to be bitten and sucked on.</p><p>Luke was beautiful, and while Ashton had definitely recognized this before, he never took the time to appreciate just how flawlessly beautiful his Luke truly was.</p><p>"Sorry, baby," Ashton blushed at Luke's words, letting his eyes continue to roam over Luke's body as he ran his hands up the blonde's thighs. "I just can't help it, you're just so goddamn beautiful, and I-I don't want to hurt you..."</p><p>"You never worried about hurting me before," Luke's voice dropped to a whisper as his eyes fell to where his fingers ran through the sheets. Ashton's heart clenched.</p><p>It was like a veil lifted from in front of his eyes. The moment Luke told Ashton that he hated him, something seemed to finally click, and like vintage footage from a silent film, all of Ashton's worst moments ran through his mind. Every time he coerced Luke into sleeping with him, every taunt, every grab, every lewd comment haunted Ashton to his core and tasted like bitter medicine as it stuck in his throat and coated his tongue in regret.</p><p>Ashton's eyes softened as he took in Luke's vulnerable state, kicking himself for not noticing just how sensitive and fragile the boy was before. "Hey," Ashton said as he placed two fingers under Luke's chin. He raised the younger boy's head up so he was looking into those beautiful blue eyes. "that's because I was a fucking idiot." A small smile cracked across Luke's lips and he leaned up to connect his lips with Ashton's. Before Ashton could react, Luke took the drummer off guard and flipped them around so that Ashton was sprawled out across the sheets. Luke perched on his lap, straddling his hips and roughly sucking on Ashton's Adam's apple.</p><p>"Well don't go easy on me now, Daddy." Ashton couldn't help the moan that escaped his parted mouth when those sultry words left Luke's lips. Luke had always known just what to say to get under Ashton's skin and now was no exception.</p><p>With a growl, Ashton grabbed a fistful of Luke's hair and pulled his head back to expose the pale skin of his neck, leaning up and latching his lips against the sensitive skin. Luke's moans were like Handel's Messiah as they danced through Ashton's ears and ignited his soul. Ashton thought his cock couldn't possibly get any harder, but he was mistaken as Luke became a moaning mess on his lap, grinding down and letting his throbbing erection press and rub against Ashton's. Ashton's mouth watered as he watched the way that Luke ground his hips in his lap, letting Ashton's dick rub tantalizingly between his ass cheeks.</p><p>Without a second thought, Ashton wrapped his arms around Luke's thighs and hoisted him up so that he was straddling Ashton's face. Ashton licked his lips and smirked at Luke's shocked expression. He pulled the blonde further up his body until Luke's hole was hovering over Ashton's awaiting mouth.</p><p>"Gonna make you feel so good, baby boy," Ashton mumbled between kisses to Luke's inner thighs. "want you to ride daddy's face while I tongue fuck that pretty little hole of yours." Luke moaned out like a damn porn star at Ashton's words and whimpered when Ashton pulled him down onto his face.</p><p>Ashton wasted no time digging into his meal, letting the flat of his tongue lick thickly over Luke's fluttering hole as he kept the younger's thighs spread with his large hands. Luke's thighs began to shake as Ashton prodded at his tight hole with the tip of his tongue.</p><p>"F-fuck, Ash." Luke panted as he ground his hips down on Ashton's face to gain more friction. He had always loved when Ashton rimmed him. He loved the way the older boy savored every second of it and took his time in order to make Luke's thighs shake and his heart race. Ashton ran his tongue around the tight ring of muscle, feeling it flutter around his tongue as he began dipping in and licking the younger boy's insides. Luke's thighs clenched and shook around Ashton's face and he loved every second of it, removing his hands from around Luke's thighs and using his fingers to spread Luke's cheeks wider for better access. Ashton could feel Luke's muscles shivering and shaking around his tongue, and he wasted no time in pushing his tongue deeper into Luke's hole.</p><p>"Oh my god," Luke huffed as he felt Ashton press his tongue as deep as possible. Luke couldn't control his hips as he ground down on Ashton's face, fucking himself down on Ashton's tongue. Luke's thighs burned as he rode Ashton's face, the feeling of the drummer's fingernails digging into his hips adding to the delicious pain.</p><p>"A-ash I-i'm gonna come in seconds if you keep doing t-that!" Luke cried out, squeezing his eyes shut as he felt the tight coiling deep in his stomach begin to build. Ashton moaned against Luke's skin as the younger boy's muscles began to clench and flutter around his tongue. Ashton pulled away from Luke just long enough to wrap his fingers around Luke's neglected dick and began pumping sloppily as he kitten licked around the boy's hole.</p><p>"Come for me, baby boy," Ashton spoke against Luke's clammy skin, loving the way that he could gaze up and see Luke's features twist into pleasure as his body seized. Luke's tight hole clenched around Ashton's tongue repeatedly as the younger boy came fast and rough around Ashton's tongue. The older boy moaned into Luke, tightening his grip around Luke's cock as hot spurts of come coated his fingers and began dripping down onto Ashton's face and into his hair.</p><p>Ashton continued to pump his hand around Luke's length and tongue fuck the singer as the heat in his own stomach pooled and his balls tightened. Luke yelled out in a mixture of pain and pleasure at the oversensitivity he felt as Ashton continued to eat him out until he was in tears. Ashton came completely untouched, his body seizing and tongue pressing harshly against Luke's spent hole as ribbons of his come pooled on his stomach.</p><p>"F-fuck, Ash, please it hurts," Luke whined as the pain of oversensitivity finally overpowered the pleasure, and he raised up off of Ashton's face on trembling thighs to collapse beside him. Both boys lay spent and panting as they sprawled out on the bed and stared at the ceiling, trying to make sense of the otherworldly pleasure they had just experienced.</p><p>"That was..." Luke broke the silence as he turned his head to look at Ashton, tear tracks glazed over the younger boy's rosy cheeks, and his chest heaving with each breath.</p><p>"Yeah," Ashton chuckled as he raised a hand up to swipe a puddle of Luke's warm cum from his hairline. He turned to look at Luke, a mischievous glint in his eyes before popping his fingers into his mouth and humming. Luke couldn't help the blush that raised up his neck.</p><p>"Sorry about, uh, coming on your face, um, without warning, I just couldn't, you know, hold it any longer," Luke mumbled as his cheeks began to turn a blazing red. Ashton just chuckled, raising up on his elbow and turning to run his hand down Luke's chest.</p><p>"Don't apologize, pretty boy." Ashton used his free arm to wipe off his face and Luke looked on mortified. "I wanted you to. Tonight is all about you." Ashton said as he swiped some remaining cum from the corner of his mouth. "Plus, it was really fucking hot. Made me come completely untouched." Now it was Ashton's turn to be embarrassed as he peered down at his own cum covered stomach. Luke couldn't help the giggle that escaped his lips. "Hey now," Ashton faked a pout as he tucked a loose curl behind Luke's ear. "in my defense, I haven't been touched in nearly a month." Ashton smiled as Luke let out a belly laugh and turned to cuddle into Ashton's side. At the feeling of Luke's body pressed so intimately against his own, Ashton couldn't help but freeze.</p><p>At the feeling of Ashton tensing, Luke's stomach dropped in disappointment and he began to pull away from Ashton. He knew he shouldn't have tried something so intimate.</p><p>"Hey, hey, what are you doing?" When Ashton felt Luke pull away, he quickly reached out and beckoned the boy back, guiding him to lay his head against the drummer's chest.</p><p>"I felt you freeze, and I just thought, well, maybe I was being too forward..." Ashton could hear the hesitation in Luke's voice and his heart hurt when he realized that he was the reason behind it. He didn't want Luke to feel uncomfortable around him, but this was new territory for the older man. It was one thing to have sex with someone, but cuddling was something completely foreign to Ashton. He was simply caught off guard.</p><p>"I'm sorry, Luke," Ashton sighed as he wrapped his arms around the younger boy and kissed his cheek. "I'm just not used to any of this, I promise I'm trying, I just..." Ashton trailed off awkwardly as a blush made its way up his neck.</p><p>Luke's eyes softened and Ashton knew that he saw the uncertainty and vulnerability that Ashton always tried his best to hide. "Hey," Luke wrapped his arms around Ashton and nuzzled into the warmth of the drummer's chest. He draped one of his legs over Ashton's so that their naked bodies were pressed together, and he kissed along Ashton's neck as he pulled the bedsheet up over their bodies.</p><p>The adrenaline and sexual frustration that had been coursing through the room not even ten minutes before had settled into a sleepy comfortability as they breathed in sync, their heartbeats beginning to match up. "this is new to both of us, okay? We'll figure this out together, one step at a time." Luke placed a final kiss to Ashton's shoulder and laid his head in the crook of the older boy's neck. "But now, we sleep. I'm fucking exhausted."</p><p>Ashton nodded, breathing out a soft laugh as he let his body relax around Luke's and cuddle the younger boy tighter against his chest. "Me too, baby." The warmth of the sheet engulfed them into a sleepy haze as the moonlight peeked through the window and lulled them into a dream-like state. Feeling Luke's warm skin pressed against his own, Ashton couldn't help but think back to the time he had snuck into bed with Luke. It had been months since he last felt so at home, so safe, and he was going to embrace every last second of it knowing that this time he would not have to sneak away before daybreak.</p><p>"Goodnight Ashton," Luke mumbled as his eyelids fluttered closed and his breathing began to even out. Ashton stared at the beautiful boy in his arms, regretting every time he had pushed him away before, because, in that moment, Ashton was finally at peace. The warmth of Luke's body was not only keeping his body heated but was radiating warmth all the way to his heart and every last bone in his body. Ashton felt like he was fucking glowing as he held the cherub boy in his arms, and he couldn't help the smile that painted his lips as he pressed a gentle kiss against Luke's hairline.</p><p>"Goodnight, Luke."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter Sixteen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"F-fuck, <em>L-luke</em>!" Ashton bit his lip as he fisted a handful of the younger boy's hair between his fingers. His eyes rolled to the back of his head as Luke swirled his tongue around the tip of Ashton's throbbing cock, prodding his tongue along the slit that was leaking pre-cum.</p><p>"God, you blow me so well, baby boy. You take my cock so well, such a good little cock slut. Don't even have a gag reflex, do you?" A groan slipped from Ashton's lips as he squirmed under Luke's hot tongue, and Luke pressed Ashton's hips into the mattress as Ashton's cock hit the back of his throat.</p><p>Luke moaned around Ashton's length as he tightened his grip around the base of Ashton's shaft with one hand and began fondling the older boy's balls with the other.</p><p>"M'so close baby." Ashton's breath hitched in his throat as he struggled against Luke's grasp, attempting to push himself deeper down the blonde boy's throat. "God yes, Lu!" Ashton whined as he felt his climax swiftly approaching, and he pushed Luke off of him before it was too late. Before Luke could protest, Ashton flipped them over so that Luke's panting chest was pressed into the bedsheets and his pert ass was pushed up in the air. </p><p>"Wanna cum inside you," Luke shivered as he felt Ashton's hot breath against his ear and the older boy reached over him to where they had left the half-empty bottle of lube. Luke gasped as he felt the drummer's lubed-up fingers prod between his cheeks, and his flesh erupted in goosebumps. Luke reached back, gripping Ashton's wrist in his hand and shaking his head as he pushed himself up on his elbows and twisted around to kiss Ashton hotly on the mouth.</p><p>"still stretched out from last night, please just fuck me." The end of Luke's sentence turned into a whine as Ashton teasingly pushed two fingers deep within the younger boy.</p><p>"Still stretched, hm?" Ashton hummed, listening to Luke gasp and whine in discomfort as Ashton scissored his long fingers inside him. "cuz you still seem pretty damn tight to me, little boy." Luke wanted to make a snide comment about how he was in fact taller than Ashton, but before he could quip back, he felt Ashton slide his fingers out and replace them with the slick tip of his cock. "You like that, baby?" Ashton moaned as he felt Luke's tightness squeeze the head of his dick, and he pulled out teasingly.</p><p>"A-Ash, please, s-stop the teasing and fuck me," Luke grunted as he dropped his head to the mattress. Ashton chuckled, gripping Luke's hips tight enough to leave bruises as he aligned himself with Luke's hole.</p><p>"As you wish, baby." With a single thrust, Ashton bottomed out, his hips flush against Luke's ass and his length engulfed in Luke's tight heat.</p><p>"<em>Fuuuuuck</em>, Daddy." Luke gasped and Ashton moaned as the knot in his stomach tightened. He was already ungodly close from Luke's incredible blowjob skills, so hearing Luke cry out 'Daddy' was enough to make Ashton shiver from the build-up of his impending orgasm.</p><p><em>"Daddy?"</em> Both boys froze as they heard two new voices.<em>"</em>You've got to be fucking kidding me!" Just as quickly as Ashton's orgasm built up, it was ripped away as his eyes flew open to see a pissed-off looking Calum and Michael standing in the doorway with their jaws on the floor.</p><p>"Cal, I-" Luke panicked as Ashton pulled himself out and off of the younger boy, and Luke wrapped the thin bedsheet around his naked waist.</p><p>"You son of a bitch!" Calum seethed, his fists clenching at his side as he threw himself at Ashton, grabbing the older boy by the arm and yanking him off the bed. "Don't you dare touch him!" Calum threw Ashton against the wall, eyes glowing with rage.</p><p>"Woah, Cal, please-" Ashton began, but before he could even process what was going on, Calum's fist connected with his nose, and a loud <em>crunch</em> echoed through the room.</p><p>"Calum!" Luke screamed, throwing himself at Calum and attempting to rip him away from Ashton as blood began running down his naked chest.</p><p>"Fuck! What the hell, mate?" Ashton yelped, gripping his nose and attempting to staunch the flow of blood while Luke and Michael held Calum back.</p><p>"You deserved that, you prick!" Calum yelled as he ripped himself out of Luke's grip and whipped around to face the younger boy. "and <em>you</em>," Calum pressed a finger against Luke's chest, "what the <em>fuck</em> do you think you're doing?"</p><p>"I-" Luke gulped, his eyes darting between the three other pairs directed at him, "it's really not like that, Cal."</p><p>"Not like that?" Calum laughed, voice rising in anger, "not like that? Then what is it?"</p><p>"Calum, let's just breathe, mate," Michael's gentle voice tried to ease the tension in the air, but it was no use.</p><p>"Because it looks to me like you're whoring yourself out to Ashton, again!" Calum spat, his eyes staring daggers into Ashton who was tipping his head back to try and prevent blood from getting on the carpet. "he's just using you again and you're too blinded by your ridiculous obsession with him to see just how stupid you're being! I mean seriously, Luke, what the fuck is wrong with you!" Silence fell over the room as tears gathered in Luke's eyes. Ashton tensed, his blood boiling as he listened to the way Calum talked to Luke.</p><p>"Calum," Michael's voice came out soft, pleading almost as he laid a hand on Calum's shoulder, "let's take some time to calm down and let Ashton get fixed up. I think we all need some time to breathe." Before Calum could argue back, Michael dragged him out of the room and left the two lovers standing speechless in the middle of Ashton's bedroom.</p><p>* * *</p><p>After a rushed visit to the urgent care, Ashton's nose was back in place and Luke had calmed down enough to breathe normally again.</p><p>"So you two just... made up then?" Calum crossed his arms over his chest and squared his shoulders as he turned to face Ashton.</p><p>On their way back from the urgent care, Luke and Ashton had decided they needed to face the music, so they called Michael and met them at his apartment.</p><p>Luke took a slight step closer to Ashton as if trying to protect him from Calum's sharp glare. "Why didn't you call before coming over?"</p><p>"We did! Like 500 times last night," Michael snorted as he sprawled out on the sectional, "neither of you would answer your damn phone... now we know why."</p><p>"Stop trying to change the subject," Calum spit out as he took a step closer to Ashton. He knew that Ashton could probably kick his ass any day, but Calum would gladly take a beating to defend his best friend. "so you two <em>worked things out</em>?" Sarcasm cut through his words and bit at Luke's skin.</p><p>"We talked things out, yeah..." Luke mumbled, avoiding Calum's eyes and instead looking over towards Michael who had made himself comfortable on the sectional.</p><p>"And by talking things out you mean you let him fuck you again?" Calum snapped at Luke, and Ashton felt his body stiffen at the way Calum raised his voice. He knew that Luke hated to be yelled at, and the last thing they needed was for Luke to break out into tears for the second time today.</p><p>"Cal," Ashton warned, keeping his voice low and eyes hardened.</p><p>"What are you going to do, Ashton? Hit me? Cuz I think I proved earlier that I'm not afraid of you." Calum chuckled, raising his hands up in the air before letting them clap back down at his sides, "we caught you balls deep in Luke's ass this morning, you can't fucking deny it!"</p><p>"Calum, please," Luke said, his eyes wide and pleading with Calum to stop.</p><p>"He <em>used </em>you, Luke!" Calum yelled without breaking his hateful stare towards Ashton. "He used you and hurt you and who was the one that you'd come running to crying after? Me! It was me." Calum swallowed hard, his jaw clenching as he stared Ashton down. "You don't deserve him, Irwin."</p><p>"You don't think I know that?" Ashton cried, letting his hands ball into fists at his sides. "You don't think I realize how much of a douche I was? Or how horrible I feel for hurting him? I was a fucking idiot, and I realize that now, and I would take that back in a heartbeat if I could. I will always regret what I did."</p><p>The room fell silent as Ashton's voice wavered at the end of his sentence and he turned to look at Luke with a swollen, tear-filled gaze.</p><p>"I hate myself for the way that I treated you. I know it's not an excuse, but I was just so confused by you and how I felt about you that I lashed out to try and hide the fact that I was questioning my sexuality for the first time in 23 years. Never before had I felt such sexual attraction to a guy and then as soon as you moved in with me that all changed and it felt like I'd been hit by a fucking bus because I swear to God, I couldn't get you off my mind and every little thing you did drove me insane and I felt like I was 15 again trying not to get an erection every time you walked into the damn room. I tried my hardest to distance myself from you, I really did, and I thought that getting back to Liss would help and I'd realize that it was just a stupid crush... but it wasn't and it didn't go away." Ashton took a wavering breath before he continued, "I'm sorry for how I treated you, and for all of the times I hurt you. I swear it wasn't my intention to deliberately hurt you... I will spend forever trying to make it up to you if you'll let me." By the end of his speech, Ashton had tears running down his cheeks, and that caused Luke to choke up as he grabbed Ashton's hands in his own.</p><p>"I can't say you didn't hurt me," Luke said, letting his eyes drop down to his feet, "because you did, you hurt me so fucking bad Ashton."</p><p>"I-" Ashton started, but before he could continue Luke cut him off.</p><p>"and I'm terrified of getting hurt by you again. But I'm willing to put myself out there because, at the end of the day, the last year and a half have been the best and worst of my life. And I wouldn't change that for anything, because I love you, Ashton." The tears were falling freely down Luke's face at this point and Ashton pressed his forehead against the younger boy's.</p><p>"Luke," He whispered, letting his eyes rake over every inch of Luke's face and take in the raw emotion pooling in his cerulean eyes. Luke knew that Ashton wasn't ready to say those words yet, and he was more than okay with it. He was content waiting until the moment was right.</p><p>"I know," Luke's lip quirked up in a smile and he let his hands wander into Ashton's thick curls.</p><p>"So if you aren't just fucking," Calum broke Ashton and Luke out of the moment they shared, "what is this?" He gestured between the two of them and Michael sat up, suddenly intrigued with the direction that the conversation was going.</p><p>"Yeah... what is this?"</p><p>Luke bit his lip, eyes scanning Ashton's face before turning back to face Michael and Calum.</p><p>"This is... us, I guess," Luke said with a shrug, and Ashton stepped forward to hesitantly loop his fingers through Luke's which earned a small blush from the younger boy. "We'll figure this out as we go."</p><p>It was quiet throughout the room as Calum and Michael stared down the nervous couple holding hands in the middle of the living room.</p><p>"Well?" Ashton gulped, his palm twitched in Luke's hand as the buzzing quiet amplified through his ears. Michael and Calum continued to stare him down, making Ashton's upper lip twitch.</p><p>Michael shrugged, a smirk pulling on his lips as he turned to leave the room. "Daddy, hm?" A blush made its way up Luke's neck and he attempted to stutter out a response. "I always did ship <em>Lashton</em> the hardest. Now, who wants a beer?" Luke and Ashton stared in disbelief as Michael casually walked off into the kitchen and began rummaging through the fridge. Luke chuckled and Ashton cracked a smile before turning their uneasy attention to Calum.</p><p>"You hurt him again, and I'll do more than break your nose, got it?" Ashton nodded, swiping his tongue across his bottom lip and letting out a sigh of relief.</p><p>"Yes Mr. Hemmings, Sir," Calum smirked uncrossing and recrossing his arms over his chest before walking out to join Michael in the kitchen.</p><p>"Glad we're on the same page, Irwin." </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter Seventeen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Why the fuck is it every time we walk into this apartment now we see your bare asses?" Michael groaned as he shielded his eyes. He and Calum had just walked through the door of Ashton's apartment to see Luke bouncing up and down on Ashton's dick in the middle of the living room.</p><p>"Seriously guys learn to knock, I was so close!" Luke groaned as he slipped off of Ashton's lap and grabbed his boxers from the floor. Ashton whined, not even bothering to cover himself up as he sprawled out naked in the middle of the living room.</p><p>"I swear you two have a cock block radar for when we're having sex." Ashton swiped his teeshirt from the floor and wiped the lube from his lower abdomen.</p><p>"Can you please just put some fucking clothes on, mate?" Calum laughed as he kept a hand securely in front of his eyes. "but seriously, are you guys always having sex? Cuz I swear that's all you two do together." Ashton chuckled, throwing on his boxers and running a hand through his sex hair.</p><p>"Well, that is all we did for what, over a year? We've gotten pretty good at it by now."</p><p>"Oh my god, you guys suck," Calum whined as he walked into the kitchen and set down the six-pack of beer he had brought. Luke smirked, throwing on his shirt and spreading himself out lazily on the couch.</p><p>"Yeah, actually we do-"</p><p>"I beg you please <em>do not </em>finish that sentence." Ashton and Luke laughed and Ashton sat up to high five the singer.</p><p>"You guys are actually the worst," Michael groaned, flopping down onto the couch beside Luke before freezing. "Wait, you didn't have sex on this couch did you?"</p><p>"No," Luke shrugged, a smirk playing on the corner of his lips as Michael began to relax. "Not today at least." Ashton laughed as Michael shot up, his face twisting in disgust.</p><p>"Is anywhere in this house safe?!"</p><p>"Nope." Ashton grinned, high-fiving Luke once again as their friends groaned.</p><p>"So <em>anyway</em>," Calum rolled his eyes as he stiffly took a seat on the edge of the loveseat, "you guys up for some Fifa and beer tonight?"</p><p>"Thought we'd shake things up a bit this Friday," Michael said, a goofy grin plastered on his face as his thumbs swiped across the screen of his phone. Luke didn't even have to look at the phone to know the guitarist was sending Crystal a slew of funny gifs.</p><p>"What are you goons talking about, we do that every Friday?" Luke rolled his eyes as he picked up the TV remote and flipped through the channels. VH1 was playing a John Hughes marathon and Luke put the remote back down after turning up the volume.</p><p>"Yeah, but this time we got Corona instead of Heineken."</p><p>"You are so dumb." Ashton laughed as he got up off of the floor and sat next to Luke, casually throwing his arm around his shoulder. "and anyway, we can't. We have plans."</p><p>"We do?" Luke's eyebrows scrunched up in confusion as he turned to his boyfriend. "what did I forget about?" Ashton giggled, squeezing Luke's shoulder and pressing a soft kiss to his neck.</p><p>"Nothing, Baby. I forgot to ask you earlier, but I was uh, kind of hoping you'd want to go on a date tonight? Like a real date? We never really got to do this whole relationship thing properly, so I'd really like to take you out, just the two of us." In the middle of his speech, Ashton turned to face Luke and was running his thumb along the back of his boyfriend's hand nervously. Luke smiled, and Ashton's nerves subsided as the blonde pressed a chaste kiss to his lips.</p><p>"I'd love that." Luke cooed, pressing a long kiss to Ashton's lips and letting himself sink into the body of his lover. Their best friends gagged loudly in the background and both boys smiled into the kiss.</p><p>"So... we take it that's a no on the Corona tonight then?"</p><p>* * *</p><p>"Ash, where are you taking me?" Luke laughed as Ashton finally agreed to take off the tie he had wrapped around Luke's eyes after stopping the car. He'd told Luke to dress nicely and so the younger boy had chosen his best dark polka dot button-down and a black blazer with a pair of black slacks and his silver boots. Ashton thought his boy looked like a glowing god.</p><p>"Kaykay told me about this great new Sushi place downtown, I managed to beg my way into a last-minute reservation, thought we'd give it a try." Ashton's smile was contagious as he walked around to open Luke's door and hand his keys to the valet. The boys walked through the large double doors of the restaurant and were immediately engulfed by the roaring crowd. The place was packed to the brim, shoulder to shoulder with people. Luke and Ashton tried to push their way through the packed entryway and Luke attempted to slip his hand discreetly into Ashton's. Being engulfed in large swarms of people always made Luke anxious.</p><p>"Luke," Ashton sighed, jerking his hand away from Luke's that was trying to intertwine their fingers as they walked through the front door. "we're in public, I-" but Luke cut him off with a nod, swallowing his hurt as he turned to look at Ashton.</p><p>"I get it, Ash. I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking." Luke felt so utterly stupid, of course, Ashton wouldn't be ready to take their relationship public, they'd only been together officially almost three weeks. Luke walked ahead of Ashton before he could say anything and plastered a fake smile on his face before turning to the hostess. "Hi, reservation for two under Irwin?" The young hostess quirked up a perfectly manicured eyebrow before scanning down the list in front of her and then grabbing two menus.</p><p>"Of course, right this way sirs." The hostess swayed her hips, her tight black dress riding up inch by inch as she walked, and at that moment Luke was more sure than ever that he was gay as sin. She squeezed them through the crowd of people in the restaurant, and Luke was starting to feel claustrophobic. "Here we are," She said with a strained grin as she led them to a very small table in the furthest corner of the building.</p><p>"No, no this can't be it, "Ashton huffed as he took in the table that was squished between the kitchen door and a table of 10.</p><p>The hostess shrugged and Luke could tell that she was trying to mask her annoyance with an extra sweet smile. "I'm sorry sir, as you can see we are filled to capacity tonight and currently have a two-month waiting list for reservations, so we really had to pull some strings for this table." Luke felt Ashton suck in a deep breath next to him and release it calmly once Luke brushed his fingers against Ashton's closed fist.</p><p>"Okay, well, thank you." Ashton sighed, gesturing for Luke to sit down first. Ashton followed, the hostess promising that their waiter would be with them shortly.</p><p>"Well, this is um, cozy." Luke tried to look on the bright side of things as the large man from the party of 10 laughed obnoxiously loud in his ear.</p><p>"What did you say?" Ashton leaned in across the table and Luke did the same, angling his mouth so that he was talking directly into Ashton's ear.</p><p>"I said that this place is really nice." Luke had to practically scream to be heard over the wining and dining surrounding them.</p><p>"I'm so sorry, Lu." Ashton sighed, straightening his own blazer as he sat up straight. The kitchen door whacked violently into the back of his seat as another waiter came out with a full platter. "I really wanted this night to be perfect for you." Ashton huffed as he uncurled his napkin, and Luke reached across to run his fingers along the top of Ashton's hand.</p><p>"Hey, I don't care if they seated us in the bathroom, I'm here with you, that's all I care about." Luke smiled across the table, letting out a soft <em>oof</em> as the person sitting behind him pushed out their chair and smacked him in the back of the head with their elbow.</p><p>Before Ashton could respond, a tall man in a white button-down and black tie approached the table, clearing his throat as he placed down two menus and asked for drink orders.</p><p>"We'll have a bottle of red, please. Whatever the special is." Ashton ordered for both of them. Luke didn't really love red wine <em>or</em> sushi, but he knew that Ashton was just trying to make this night special for him, so he kept his mouth shut.</p><p>"So how was dinner at Michael's yester-" Ashton tried to make small talk, but was cut off by the bustling waiters opening and closing the door behind him. Every time he tried to open his mouth, he was met with another swift kick in the back. Luke could tell Ashton was attempting to manage his anger that was threatening to bubble to the surface. Luke sent him a sympathetic smile before raising his glass of water to his lips and taking a sip.</p><p>An awkward tension fell over the table as both boys tried and failed to be heard over the roaring laughter from the tables surrounding them. Luke could practically see the sigh Ashton released as the waiter returned with the bottle of wine. Both boys kept formal smiles on as the waiter poured each glass and before leaving the two boys alone once more.</p><p>"To us?" Ashton smiled meekly, raising his glass and Luke did the same.</p><p>"To us." Luke smiled, clinking his glass against Ashton's. He went to take a sip of the rich wine, but the glass fumbled out of his hands and spilled all over the crisp white table cloth as the chair behind him had pushed out and rammed into the back of his seat. "Oh my god, Ash, I'm so sorry!" Luke could feel the blush rising up his neck and he ran his hands through his hair before picking up his napkin and dabbing at the ruined table cloth.</p><p>"Luke, Luke, chill." Ashton giggled as Luke frantically attempted to hide the mess he made. "Do you wanna get out of here?" The words are out of Ashton's mouth in a flash and Luke blinks back in confused amusement.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>Ashton leaned across the table to whisper to his beautiful boyfriend, and Luke shivered when he felt the hot breath against his skin. "This place isn't really us... I'd really just like to go home, grab some beers and order a pizza. Just you and me, what do you say?"</p><p>"I say take me home, Irwin."</p><p>* * *</p><p>"You know, I never thought that this is how our first date would turn out." Ashton panted as he and Luke stumbled through the apartment door and began ripping off articles of clothing.</p><p>"Well, we aren't really classical romantics, now are we?" Luke spoke against Ashton's skin as he stripped them of their briefs. "I mean, we fucked for over a year and we're just now going on our first date."</p><p>"Touche, Hemmings, touche." Ashton chuckled as he wrapped his arms around Luke's thighs and hoisted the younger boy up against the wall. "You still stretched from this morning, baby boy?" Ashton managed to get out between moans as he rubbed his achingly hard dick between Luke's asscheeks.</p><p>"Y-yeah just fuck me, Ash." Luke rubbed down against Ashton's cock and the older boy let out a guttural moan from the back of his throat. With a nod, Ashton spat down between their bodies, coating his member before teasing Luke's opening.</p><p>"Oh my god, Ash, just get on with it."</p><p>"Well excuse me for wanting to make our first date romantic."</p><p>Luke rolled his eyes with a laugh, wrapping his arms tighter around Ashton's neck and burrowing his nose in his shoulder. "You're such a loser, I love you." Luke's words were muffled against Ashton's skin, but he heard them nonetheless. Luke had said it numerous times since that first time, but Ashton's stomach still clenched in knots every time.</p><p>Ashton nodded before pushing into the younger boy, filling him to the brim and stretching him open. "Fuck, Luke," He groaned, pressing himself inside the tight ring of muscle and letting his balls rest against the curve of Luke's supple ass.</p><p>"God, yes, please fuck me, hard." Luke panted as he wiggled in Ashton's grasp and begged him to move. Ashton wasted no time in pounding into the younger boy, pulling out almost completely before slamming back in and circling his hips.</p><p>Within minutes, Luke was a moaning mess as Ashton fucked him against the wall, and just as the knot in his stomach began to tighten, Ashton lifted his hand and wrapped it around Luke's cock.</p><p>"God fucking <em>christ</em>," Luke moaned out as his legs quivered around Ashton's hips and his fingers wound into the hair at the nape of Ashton's neck. Ashton pressed his chest harder against Luke's, holding him up against the wall as he snapped his hips more harshly and began running his thumb over the tip of Luke's aching member. "I'm gonna come, g-gonna come," Luke chanted as he bit at Ashton's neck and tried not to whine. </p><p>"Hold it," Ashton grunted, his short nails digging crescent-shaped marks into the plump skin of Luke's ass.</p><p>"I-I can't, can't hold it, Ash." Luke's breath came in short pants as Ashton continued to ram into his prostate over and over again, causing Luke to jump each time the tip of Ashton's cock jammed against the bundle of nerves. Luke raked his nails across Ashton's shoulders and threw his head back into the wall as his vision began to blur at the edges.</p><p>"Now, baby, come for me. Come for me, Lu." Ashton twisted his hand around Luke's twitching cock and pressed his hips hard against Luke's ass.</p><p>"<em>Fuck!" </em>Ashton yelped as he felt the ring of Luke's muscle contract around his throbbing dick and he let loose, shooting his hot seed deep inside of his younger boyfriend. He thrust a few more times as he rode out their orgasms, loving the sweet sound of Luke's whimpers.</p><p>"Fuck is right." Luke breathed out as Ashton stopped his thrusting and leaned his forehead against Luke's. Their hearts seemed to pump as one and they shared a single breath as they stared into each other's eyes, enjoying the feeling of Ashton filling Luke. They stood watching each other for another beat before a smirk crept onto Luke's face. "Well, I don't know about you, but that's the best first date I've ever had."</p><p>Ashton pulled out of Luke and carefully set him back on his trembling legs. "I'm sorry this date didn't go as planned."</p><p>"You're right," Luke said, wrapping his arms around Ashton's neck and pecking his lips, "it was better than planned. Now, can we please get some pizza and beer and go lay naked in bed? I think there's a Ridiculousness marathon on MTV2 tonight." Ashton chuckled, pressing a passionate kiss to Luke's lips.</p><p>"You go order the pizza, half Hawaiian half meat?, and I'll go grab the Coronas Calum left. Meet back in my room in ten?"</p><p>"It's a date." </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter Eighteen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Luke, <em>pssst</em>."</p><p>
  <em>"Luke." </em>
</p><p>"Lucas."</p><p>A hard poke was delivered to Luke's cheek and he groaned, turning away from the annoyance and burying his head under his pillow. It was early, that much he could tell from the soft grey rays seeping in through the window, and all he wanted was ten more minutes of shut-eye.</p><p>"Luuuuuuuuuuuuke."</p><p>"Baby boy?" Luke heard Ashton sigh, and he hoped that if he stayed still the older boy would just think he was still asleep.</p><p>"Lu, that's not gonna work I know you're awake now." Ashton's singsong voice whispered in his ear and he groaned once again, peaking open one eye and gazing over to see Ashton curled up next to him. Butterflies fluttered in Luke's stomach at the sight of the beautiful naked boy beside him, just as they had every day of the past half a year waking up beside him.</p><p>It had been six months since Luke and Ashton decided to give the whole relationship thing a try. Of course, the last six months hadn't been all sunshine and rainbows for the new couple. There were nights when Luke would slam the bedroom door with tears streaming down his face and stalk off to his own bedroom, only to wake up the next day to Ashton laying curled up outside his bedroom door. He couldn't sleep without Luke, and Luke would be lying if he said he didn't toss and turn every night that he didn't fall asleep in Ashton's arms.</p><p>No, the last half a year wasn't the easiest, but at the end of it all, Luke and Ashton were happier than ever. In that time, Calum had let his guard down and came around to the idea of Ashton and Luke, and now the four boys were happier than they had ever been; the album had been out for almost four months now and of course, it immediately topped the charts, they were back to regularly doing interviews, and there were plans for a tour in the summer. Everything was finally coming together for them.</p><p>"Whattya want, Ash?" Luke groaned as he attempted to pull the duvet up and over his head. He hated that Ashton was an early riser because Luke could sleep for 20 hours straight if they let him, but not Ashton. Ashton awoke with the sun, and even first thing in the morning, Ashton needed attention.</p><p>Ashton pouted out his bottom lip as his eyes lingered on Luke's mouth, and Luke pulled himself up on his elbows to connect his lips with Ashton's. Ashton sighed as he melted into the kiss, his fingers running up the length of Luke's spine and making a shiver run through the younger boy. </p><p>"So that's what you wanted," Luke smirked after pulling away from the kiss long enough to catch his breath. Ashton giggled, grabbing Luke by the hips and rolling the singer over so that he was straddling Ashton's waist. Luke gasped as he felt Ashton's morning erection rub teasingly along his thigh.</p><p>"This painful-ass morning wood woke me up an hour or so ago. I tried to take care of it myself and let you sleep in, but it won't go away. Need my baby boy." Ashton pouted as he rubbed his thumbs in circles on Luke's hip bones. He could feel Luke's muscles tense under his touch which made him smirk. "Please?" He knew that Luke could never say no to him, especially first thing in the morning. Luke was a sucker for lazy morning sex.</p><p>"Only if we can try again tonight." A wicked smirk danced along the corner of Luke's lips and Ashton groaned.</p><p>"But <em>why</em>? Let's face it, princess, you were made to take dick, I wasn't." Ashton grasped Luke's ass cheeks in his hands, landing a harsh swat against the plump skin before rubbing his hands over the pinked skin. God, did Ashton love Luke's ass. He could play with it all day.</p><p>"C'mon, Ash. Don't you want to know what it's like to bottom?"</p><p>"Can't say it ever piqued my interest."</p><p>"You're impossible."</p><p>"No, I just don't find the idea of a dick up my ass that much of a turn on." Luke playfully sighed, rolling off of Ashton's lap and clambering to his feet. "Wait, where are you going?" Luke could hear the whine in Ashton's voice and smirked to himself before he stretched and leisurely made his way into the bathroom.</p><p>"Going to take a nice hot shower, I don't really find the idea of a dick up my ass that much of a turn on right now." Luke laughed at the look on Ashton's face as he blew him a kiss before turning around and walking into their bathroom. Luke knew he was playing a risky game, and he knew he was <em>definitely</em> going to be punished for it later, but he couldn't help it. Messing with Ashton was his favorite game.</p><p>"Wait, no, okay, okay we can give it another go tonight!" Luke heard as the door began to close, but it was too late. Now the idea of a hot shower really did sound appealing. Luke reached into the shower, wrenching the handle up for the hot water, and waited as steam filled up the room.</p><p>Once it was hot enough, Luke stepped into the shower and let the scalding water rain down in droplets over his reddening skin. He took his time, knowing that the longer he made Ashton wait the more trouble he would be in. And Luke loved being a troublemaker.</p><p>He scrubbed every inch of his skin and lathered shampoo through his hair, watching the bubbles circle and disappear down the drain.</p><p>When Luke had enough of the teasing and his skin was sufficiently scrubbed raw, he turned the water off and stepped out into the biting air. Grabbing a towel from the rack on the wall, he wrapped it loosely around his waist and took another to dry his hair. Just as he was about to leave the large bathroom, the fogged-up vanity mirror over the countertop caught his attention. The letters were lopsided and the water was running down the mirror and blending the words together, but they were legible nonetheless.</p><p>
  <em>Hey Beautiful, I have a surprise for you... </em>
</p><p>When had Ashton managed to sneak in and write it without Luke noticing? Luke grinned as he read over Ashton's message. He had always loved it when Ashton left him cute little shower notes.</p><p>Luke slowly made his way to the door, placing his hand on the knob and biting his lip in anticipation. Knowing Ashton, Luke was expecting punishment for the little stunt he pulled earlier so he excitedly pulled open the door.</p><p>Luke's eyebrows shot up as he walked out into the bedroom to find the bed made and a bouquet of blood-red roses laid out in stark contrast to the bright white sheets. Faint music rose through the room and Luke of course recognized it as their new song <em>Valentine</em>. A giggle escaped Luke's parted lips as he heard his own voice begin to echo through the apartment and the sound of Ashton humming along. Ashton could be so goddamn cheesy sometimes. Luke picked up the bouquet of flowers, cradling them in his arm before following the music down the hall</p><p>"What are you doing in ther- <em>Ashton!</em>" Luke gasped as he rounded the corner into the kitchen to see a breakfast bar filled with strawberries, fresh coffee, blueberry pancakes, and sausage. Ashton was wiping the leftover flour from his hands off on the apron around his neck and he looked up with a dazzling, yet slightly uneasy smile. "W-what is all of this for?"</p><p>"Happy Valentine's Day, Baby. You know I'm a sap for the cliches." A nervous giggle left Ashton's mouth as he took off the apron and rounded the counter to peck a still surprised Luke's lips.</p><p>"I thought we agreed not to do anything big? Now I feel bad, I didn't get anything for you..." Ashton pulled Luke into his arms and kissed along his neck.</p><p>"You've already done so much for me, I wanted to do something for you."</p><p>"This is too much, Ash, I mean, the breakfast, the flowers..." Ashton smiled and pulled Luke back so that he could look him in the eyes. He brushed a soft curl out of Luke's face.</p><p>"Nineteen."</p><p>"What?" Ashton ran his fingers through Luke's wet hair and stared deep into the ocean blue eyes he had come to appreciate so much.</p><p>"That's how many months we've been living together." A smile broke out across Luke's face and Ashton held Luke's hand in his own, fiddling with his fingers like he did when he was nervous. "T-that's," he took a deep breath. "that's how many months I've loved you." The smile on Luke's face dropped as his eyes widened. Luke told Ashton every day that he loved him, but Ashton had yet to say it back.</p><p>"You um," Luke swallowed the lump in his throat "you what?"</p><p> Ashton smiled, taking a step back and grabbing Luke's hands in his own.</p><p>"I love you, Luke. I fucking love you so much and I'm sorry that it's taken me so goddamn long to say it because you don't deserve that. You deserve to hear it every morning and night. You deserve to hear it every second of every goddamn day because you are a ray of fucking sunshine and I've done nothing but treat you like less than you deserve in the past and I don't know how you're still putting up with me but I'm so fucking happy that you are because I love you." Ashton was breathless as he finished his somewhat preplanned speech and he licked his lips, gazing nervously up at Luke.</p><p>"I-" The words stuck in Luke's throat and he thought his heart was about to burst in his chest. Luke never let himself be bothered by the fact that Ashton hadn't said "I love you" before, mainly because he knew how serious Ashton took those words and he knew that it would be worth it when he finally heard them. And boy oh boy, was it worth it.</p><p>"Ashton, you..." Luke let the sobs fall from his lips as he threw himself in Ashton's arms and began sniffling into his shoulder. "you're so cheesy. But god do I love you." Luke could feel Ashton's chuckle rumble from his chest and he tightened his arms around the older boy.</p><p>"And I love you, baby boy. Now, let's dig into this breakfast, yeah? You'll need the energy if I'm about to let you try and fuck me in the ass tonight." Luke snorted, peppering soft kisses along Ashton's neck.</p><p>"God, I love you."</p><p>"And I love you." Luke's smile grew wider and he hugged Ashton a little tighter.</p><p>"Say it again." He craved to hear how those words rolled so luxuriously off of his boyfriend's lips.</p><p>"I love you," Ashton said, trailing kisses up along Luke's neck and sucking on his jaw. "I love you, I love you, I love you, I fucking love you." Luke moaned as Ashton's hands moved down to squeeze his hips and he ran his hands down Ashton's torso to the tie of his flannel pajama pants. Before Ashton could say anything, Luke had pushed his pajamas and boxers down his legs, letting them pool at his ankles.</p><p>"Luke, breakfast," Ashton panted as Luke's hands crept up his thighs. Ashton's breath caught in his throat as Luke took Ashton's hardening member into his mouth and sucked on it like he would a thick milkshake through a straw. Ashton's stomach began clenching and his hands flew to Luke's long hair to help his baby boy move smoothly along his cock. Luke started bobbing his head and Ashton moaned as he let his head fall back. Luke pulled back and teasingly sucked at his tip before dipping back down and taking all of Ashton's member down his throat without gagging.</p><p>"fuck it," Ashton huffed as he pulled Luke off of his cock and maneuvered him to lay on the kitchen floor, legs spread wide open. "breakfast can wait."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter Nineteen</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"F-fuck Ash, I, I'm gonna <em>come</em>!" Luke yelped as Ashton dug his fingers deeper inside of his blonde boyfriend, jabbing at his prostate and sucking ruthlessly on the throbbing tip of his cock. Ashton moaned around Luke's length as he swallowed all of Luke's come, licking his lips and pulling his fingers out after milking Luke through his second orgasm of the morning. </p><p>Luke was left panting, a sweating mess as Ashton flipped him over onto his hands and knees and began leaving marks along the top of his ass while Ashton pumped his own length. He was already close from listening to Luke's moans and whimpers over the last 30 minutes, and all he wanted to do was paint Luke's back with his load. </p><p>"Wanna come for you, baby boy." Ashton panted as he pumped his length, twisting the tip and spreading some of Luke's warm seed over his own length for lubricant. </p><p>"Please come for me, Daddy," Luke whined, pressing his face into the mattress and raising his ass higher into the air as he felt Ashton quicken his pace. Ashton pressed the tip of his reddened dick against Luke's hole. "wanna feel you come all over me, all over my ass." Luke continued to whimper dirty pleas to Ashton as the older boy approached his climax, finally letting go with a strong shudder and spurting hot streaks of cum all over Luke's stretched hole. </p><p>"Fuck," Ashton panted as he picked up his discarded teeshirt from the floor and wiped up the mess he had made of Luke. </p><p>"It's been too long," Luke moaned, collapsing down onto his stomach and grinning up at Ashton. </p><p>"You got that right, I'm almost missing the long break. Even though we went stir crazy not touring at least we got to have sex on a regular basis."</p><p>Luke chuckled, lifting the discarded sheets of their bed up around his shoulders and scooting into drape himself across Ashton's toned chest. A comfortable silence draped across the room like a warm quilt as both boys took in the serenity of the rare alone time. </p><p>"Hey, Ash," Luke's quiet voice broke through the silence as they lay curled together naked, coming down from the early morning fun that had begun with a <em>'good morning, please wake up now'</em> rimming from Ashton. Ashton woke up bright and early at eight am, and he knew Luke wouldn't be too happy if Ashton woke him up on their first full day off in a month for anything less than sex. </p><p>They had been so busy recently as the end of their North American leg of the Meet You There tour was coming to an end, and the boys were given only a couple of days to relax before they were off to Europe for the final jaunt. The tour had been amazing so far, but all the boys were beginning to feel the effects of touring once again. Now that they were home, all the couple wanted to do was lay in bed for three days straight and catch up on all of the sex and sleep they had missed out on since being on the road again.</p><p>Ashton hummed in response as he continued to run his fingers through Luke's sweaty curls.</p><p>"Have you uh," Luke's voice shook a bit as he spoke, and Ashton furrowed his eyebrows. Luke was rarely nervous around Ashton anymore. He was loud and obnoxious and bold, and best of all, he was all <em>Ashton's</em>.</p><p>"What is it, baby boy?"</p><p>"Have you ever thought about the future?" Ashton's shoulders stiffened a bit. Of course, he thought of the future. Almost every day he would think about how wonderful it would feel to wake up wrapped in Luke's body every morning and to fall asleep entangled with him every night. </p><p>After he and Luke finally came out to their families a few months ago, Ashton spent hours on the phone with his mom discussing what the relationship meant for not only the two young men, but the future direction of their careers if they were to ever come out. Ashton knew that their fans would always support them, he just hated the idea of popping the glamorous, secretive bubble that was their hidden romance. Ashton would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy the sneaking around part of their relationship a little, and as selfish as it sounded, he just wasn't ready to share their secret with everyone else.</p><p>"Of course, why do you ask?" Ashton ran his fingertips along Luke's spine, pressing against each vertebra. He loved the way Luke shivered from his touch. Luke shifted around on Ashton's chest and began mouthing at his boyfriend's nipple, enjoying the way that the soft skin hardened around his lips. Ashton felt Luke shrug and trace the tip of his finger around the now hardened nipple.</p><p>"Just been thinking..." Luke's mumbled words tickled Ashton's skin as he buried his face further into Ashton's chest.</p><p>"Penny for your thoughts?" Ashton ran his hand back up Luke's spine to tangle his fingers into the curls at the nape of the blonde's neck as he waited for his boyfriend to open up.</p><p>"I just..." Luke sighed, shuffling off of Ashton's chest and propping his head up in his hand. "I always wonder what it would be like if we... you know," Luke huffed and Ashton knew his boyfriend was beginning to change his mind about speaking his mind.</p><p>"Use your words, baby," Ashton said as he lifted Luke's chin up so that he was staring into the crystalline blue eyes that had caused him so much pain, happiness, and confusion over the last few years. Luke was quiet for a moment as he bit at the corner of his lip, an old nervous habit he kept even after the lip ring.</p><p>"I just sometimes wonder what it would be like if we came out as a couple, you know? I... I think I'm ready, and I-I want to." Luke forced his sentence out in a single breath, and his cheeks burned crimson. Ashton nodded, he knew it was just a matter of time before they had to have <em>the talk. </em></p><p>"Oh yeah?" Ashton kissed Luke's temple as he wrapped Luke up in his arms. He would be lying if he said his heart didn't race at the thought of publicly coming out as a couple. Of course, he wanted everyone to know about him and Luke. He wanted to be able to grab his boyfriend's ass on stage and plant sloppy wet kisses on his cheek as they went to the supermarket together. But at the same time, he was nervous.</p><p>Sure, Ashton had already told Luke that he loved him, and yes, they had been together officially for almost a year, but something about the idea of going public just made their relationship seem that much more <em>real. </em>Ashton wasn't sure he was ready for the commitment that came with that.</p><p>"Yeah..." Luke trailed off as he looked up to search Ashton's eyes for an answer to the unspoken question that hung between them. Silence lingered through their shared bedroom and Ashton felt Luke pull away with a frustrated sigh. "What do you, um," the younger boy cleared his throat before trying again, "what do you think about, you know..." Ashton had known he'd have to face this question eventually. Being celebrities, they couldn't put it off forever. Ashton had just been trying to prologue the inevitable.</p><p>"Oh, I," Ashton scratched at the back of his neck as he broke his gaze from Luke to watch the small birds congregating on the window sill. Ashton sighed, pulling his eyes back to Luke. "Aren't you worried about the potential blowback from it? I mean, with the next album in the works and the end of the tour coming up..." He knew they were excuses. And Luke knew that he knew they were excuses. </p><p>"You can just say it, Ash." Luke cut off the drummer's rambling as he pulled away and picked at his chipped golden nail polish. "you aren't ready for this step either." Luke said it with such casualty that Ashton couldn't help the scoff that fell from his lips.</p><p>"What's that supposed to mean, Luke?" Ashton wasn't mad, but he couldn't deny the pang of hurt in his chest at his boyfriend's tone.</p><p>"Nothing, Ashton, it's just that sometimes I feel like I'm the only one that's willing to take risks in this relationship..." Ashton could tell by the way that Luke mumbled his words that he felt guilty for telling Ashton what he had been thinking. "it's just, you never seem ready to take any sort of next step and I feel paranoid that I'm just dragging you forward when you don't want to. I try to be understanding and patient, I really do Ash, but I want to be happy, and not just privately happy, but publicly." Luke's voice trembled as he continued, "I just want everyone to know how in love I am and even though you tell me all the time that you do too, the thought of you taking it back and pretending like all of this never happened is always on my mind, because as long as we're hiding it's always a possibility." Luke's cheeks were scarlet by the end of his rant and Ashton could see the tears beginning to pool along his lash line.</p><p>"Hey," Ashton said as he sat up and pulled the nervous blonde into his lap. "I love you, okay? Nothing's ever going to change that. Just because I'm not ready to yell it out to the whole world yet doesn't mean I mean it any less. I love you Luke Hemmings, and I promise one day I will let everyone know, but for now, can't we enjoy our secret just a bit longer?" Ashton wrapped Luke's hand in his, pressing his lips to each individual knuckle. Luke visibly deflated and Ashton felt his gut twist at the sight.</p><p>He hated disappointing Luke, and when it came to the big milestones of their relationship, that seemed like all he was able to do. When Luke first told Ashton he liked him, Ashton wasn't ready to return the sentiment. When Luke first told Ashton that he loved him, Ashton couldn't bring himself to say the words. When Luke excitedly told his family that he was with Ashton, Ashton found himself pushing off telling his family for as long as he possibly could, only succumbing when Luke accidentally let it slip to Ashton's mum on the phone one night. </p><p>Ashton hated the way that Luke's bright blue eyes dimmed every time Ashton let him down. When it came to love, Luke was reckless, and as much as Ashton wanted to follow in his footsteps, he always found himself cowering in his shadow.</p><p>"Yeah, I suppose you're right." Ashton watched as once again the glowing brightness of hope that radiated from Luke slipped away, and the dull disappointment once again pooled in his eyes. The worst part of it all was that Luke no longer looked hurt when Ashton told him he wasn't ready. He expected it.</p><p>Before Ashton could respond, Luke was swinging his long legs over the side of their bed and standing to his feet. "I'm gonna go take a shower."</p><p>"Lu, wait, I-"</p><p>Luke hurried into the bathroom and shut the door, locking it with a soft <em>click</em>. Ashton's gut twisted and he threw his head into the nearest pillow, which just happened to be Luke's. After letting out a few muffled groans, Ashton sat up and ran his hands over his face. </p><p>He hated disappointing Luke. Luke had done nothing but give him time, love, and understanding ever since things began between them, and Ashton continuously took advantage of that.</p><p>As Ashton listened to the sounds of the shower beating down on the porcelain tub, and Luke's melodic voice drifting in through the other room, he knew Luke deserved better. Luke deserved to be shown off with pride every day, not hidden away because Ashton was too much of a selfish coward to let the world in on their love. </p><p>For once, Ashton wanted to put Luke's feelings ahead of his own in their relationship, he just wasn't sure how to. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Chapter Twenty</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was two weeks later when Ashton finally figured out how he would make it up to Luke. After many hours talking things through with Calum, who told him to stop being a cowardly prick and just go for it, Ashton was finally ready to put Luke first. And he knew exactly how he was going to do it.</p><p>"Hey," a timid knock at the door stopped Ashton in his tracks, and he shuffled the papers off of the music stand in front of the piano as casually as he could manage.</p><p>"Hey, baby," Ashton smiled up at his boyfriend and gestured for him to come in.</p><p>"Our flight leaves in seven hours, why aren't you in bed?" Luke rubbed the sleep from his eyes and took a seat next to Ashton on the small bench. The blonde burrowed his face into the crook of Ashton's warm neck</p><p>"Couldn't sleep," Ashton shrugged, shifting his thigh to hide the sheets of music he had hidden under his leg. The last thing he needed was for Luke to find the music and ruin what he had been preparing for the last three weeks. The boys leave for the last leg of their tour tomorrow and Ashton was now only days away from Luke's surprise, everything had to be perfect. "Why're you up, love?" Ashton pressed a kiss against the side of Luke's head as the younger man yawned and again rubbed at his tired eyes.</p><p>"I woke up and you were gone and I got cold without my space heater." Luke pouted and Ashton cooed as he threw his arm around Luke and guided them out of the room.</p><p>"Well, we can't have that now, can we?" Ashton led the younger boy back to their bedroom, helping him into bed and turning Luke around so Ashton's chest was pressed up against the singer's back. Ashton pressed a kiss against Luke's neck and listened as his boyfriend sighed. </p><p>Glancing at the alarm clock on the side table, Ashton realized he had been up much longer than he expected, but he shrugged it off. Everything had to be perfect for his Luke, and if that meant only getting a couple of hours of sleep before traveling across the globe, then so be it. With that thought in mind, Ashton pulled Luke tighter against his chest, rejoicing in the feeling of having his boyfriend wrapped securely in his arms, and closed his eyes, hoping to take advantage of the last few hours of darkness.</p><p>* * *</p><p>"You're up to something, I can feel it." Luke's eyes narrowed as he stared at Ashton across the SUV. Luke noticed details. And right now, he was noticing the way that Ashton's fingers moved across his jean-clad thigh in tempo as opposed to drumming in the usual rhythms.</p><p>"And what makes you think that, Lu?" Ashton hummed as he glared at both Calum and Michael, threatening them to keep quiet <em>or else</em>. Both boys got the message and whipped their heads around to gaze out the windows.</p><p>"Because I know you," Luke let his eyes roam over Ashton's body, "you've been all twitchy and anxious for the past week, what is up with you?" Ashton hummed in feigned confusion as he picked up his phone to avoid eye contact. The last thing he wanted was for Luke to see through his lies.</p><p>"Just excited for the final part of the tour, that's all." Ashton knew Luke didn't buy it, but the younger let it drop nonetheless as he turned to gaze out of the window. The annoyance radiated off of Luke's body, and although it chipped away at his boyfriend's resolve, he stood strong on his promise and kept his lips sealed shut tightly. It would be worth it in the end.</p><p>* * *</p><p>"Okay, now I know something is seriously going on." Luke crossed his arms as he stood in the doorway of Michael and Calum's shared hotel room to find all three boys huddled around a piece of paper. Three heads flew up from the huddle and hurriedly shuffled the papers between them before Calum stuffed them into his pocket. "C'mon why can't I know?" The whine that fell from Luke's lips was oddly cute as he pouted out his bottom lip.</p><p>"It's nothing, Luke, really," Michael stuttered as he scratched at the back of his neck.</p><p>"Mike you are the worst liar in the band"</p><p>"What? I am not!"</p><p>"Yeah, mate, you kinda are." Calum laughed as he pushed the papers deeper into his pocket.</p><p>"Seriously, what's going on?" Ashton knew Luke's patience was wearing thin, and the last thing he wanted was for his boyfriend to give him the silent treatment like he did the time that Ashton refused to let Luke bring home the old Rottweiler from the shelter.</p><p>"It's Michael!" Ashton blurted out and he felt the bassist's hand reach out to swat him in the stomach. "He's, uh, planning on proposing to Crys." Michael's eyes widened to a comical size and he started sputtering before he too was whacked in the stomach by Calum.</p><p>"Oh, uh, yeah," he coughed to recover his composure. "Yeah, I'm ready to be a married man, get that old ball and chain, ya'know?"</p><p>"And why the hell couldn't you tell me?" Luke quirked an eyebrow. Of course he saw through the lie, he just liked putting Michael on the spot.</p><p>"Well, I, uh, was obviously going to, I just wanted to get some ideas from these guys ya know, since they might be proposing themselves someday I just thought I could run some things by them and such." Ashton sighed at how bad Michael's lie was and prepared to have his entire plan fall apart.</p><p>"Wait, I'm a guy, why wouldn't you ask me too?" Michael's panicked eyes darted between Luke and the two boys standing behind him, clearly looking for back up that he would not be receiving.</p><p>"Well I mean, I just figured I should ask the guys that would actually be proposing so-"</p><p>Luke scoffed, forgetting about the reason he came into the room in the first place as he settled in to argue with Michael. "What makes you think I wouldn't be the one proposing?"</p><p>Michael rolled his eyes. "Well, I just figured since you don't top-"</p><p>"So just because I bottom means I can't propose? Tons of women and bottoms propose! What about Monica and Chandler?"</p><p>Michael gave the other boys a look of desperation as if to say <em>why am I having this argument right now? </em>And Calum concealed his laugh with a cough. "Well, I mean, Monica was clearly the top in that relationship so-"</p><p>"Oh my god you are the worst!" Luke groaned, too annoyed with Michael to even care anymore about his bandmates' secretive meeting. With a final "fucking idiot" Luke trudged out of the room.</p><p>"Ouch! What the fuck?" Michael groaned as Ashton's hand flew up to slap him upside the head the moment the door clicked shut behind Luke.</p><p>"You are literally the worst liar ever."</p><p>"I got him to leave didn't I," Michael scoffed, sitting back down on the bed with a satisfied smirk, "it's all about the misdirection." Ashton and Calum glanced at each other before turning back to look at the blonde sprawled out across the mattress.</p><p>"Luke is right, you're a fucking idiot."</p><p>"A fucking idiot that just saved your ass. Now, can we please get back to it? I don't know about you, but I don't want you making a complete fool of yourself tonight."</p><p>Calum moved to sit down beside Michael and grabbed the papers out of his pocket. As he uncrinkled the sheet music and the setlist for their first show of <em>Meet You There </em>Europe, he looked over at Ashton. "The idiot is right, let's get back to work."</p><p>* * *</p><p>The minute that Ashton walked into the dressing room he was immediately pressed back up against the door.</p><p>"Woah there," Ashton giggled, his hands coming to rest on Luke's hips, "what's gotten into you?"</p><p>"Hopefully you." Luke quipped as he bit at Ashton's lower lip, pulling a groan from deep in Ashton's throat.</p><p>"Naughty, naughty boy." Ashton ran one of his hands through Luke's shoulder-length curls, wrapping them around his fingers and tugging so they made eye contact. "As much as I'd love to take you in the dressing room where anyone can catch us, we have a show to get ready for." Ashton pressed a teasing kiss to Luke's bottom lip as he pulled away, trying to detach the younger boy from his body.</p><p>"C'mon, Ash, just a quickie? Let someone watch, that just makes it more exciting." Luke pressed his clothed groin against Ashton's thigh and Ashton almost came at the feeling of just how rock hard Luke was already.</p><p>"Jesus Christ baby boy." Ashton's breath mixed with Luke's as the singer rutted up against Ashton's leg. His mind went foggy as Luke trailed sloppy kisses up and down the length of his neck. "I don't think Mike and Cal would be too happy walking in on us... <em>again.</em>"</p><p>"Screw 'em." The tension in the room continued to grow to an unbearable level as Luke sucked a bright red hickey onto the skin below Ashton's collarbone.</p><p>"Fuck, Luke," Ashton groaned as he pried the younger boy from his skin. "I want to, fuck do I want to, but we gotta be on stage for soundcheck in five minutes and-"</p><p>"Plenty of time," A smirk crept onto Luke's lips as he sank to his knees. He pressed Ashton's hips back against the door as he worked on getting the tight fabric down the older boy's thighs.</p><p>"Luke, baby no, we can't- <em>fuck!</em>" A whine fell from Ashton's lips as Luke wrapped his mouth around the tip of Ashton's cock and began suckling.</p><p>"Still want to stop?" Luke asked with a pout as he pulled off of Ashton's length, a long trail of saliva connecting his bottom lip to the tip of Ashton's dick.</p><p>"You're evil." Ashton's body reacted to Luke before his mind could catch up, and his hand made its way into the other's hair, wrapping it around his fist. Luke held Ashton's hips down with one hand as he worked his mouth down his boyfriend's length, hollowing out his cheeks and running his tongue up and down the hardened member. "So good, baby, so good." Ashton chanted as Luke took him deeper and deeper into his mouth. The younger boy gagged as the tip of Ashton's dick hit the back of his throat, but he took it like a champ, swallowing around the length and burying his nose into Ashton's pubic hair.</p><p>Luke worked his mouth around his boyfriend's cock, letting his hand stray down to fondle and caress Ashton's balls. "You know," Luke pulled off of Ashton's tip with a <em>pop</em> and Ashton groaned, his head falling back against the wall. He had been so close to his climax and Luke had known it too, the little shit. "I'm not an idiot. I know that Michael's not proposing. You're hiding something from me."</p><p>"Seriously, Lu, now?" Ashton didn't mean to sound so harsh, but he needed release and didn't have much time to get it.</p><p>"Yes now," Luke snapped as he pulled away from Ashton and got to his feet. "What could you possibly be telling the other guys that you can't tell me?" Ashton growled as he realized this had been Luke's plan all along, and he couldn't help but feel a bit of anger towards the blonde.</p><p>"Using sex for manipulation, really? Mature, Luke." Luke just shrugged, watching as Ashton pulled up his pants and redid his belt buckle.</p><p>"I thought we didn't have any secrets, Ashton." A glint of hurt sparkled in Luke's eyes, but was quickly masked by his agitation. "you know what? Fine. Don't tell me."</p><p>Sure, Luke was acting immature, but Ashton couldn't really blame him. In the time they had been together, Ashton had never once hidden something from Luke. Not when he accidentally ripped Luke's favorite rhinestoned blazer when he and Calum pretended to be conjoined twins or even his secret fantasy of Luke dressing up in skirts and little lace panties like a small porcelain doll. For God's sake, the boys even shared a single Pornhub account. There were <em>no</em> secrets between the couple. </p><p>"Luke, wait, I-" But it was too late. Luke stormed out of the dressing room, making sure the door slammed shut in Ashton's face as he stalked off to soundcheck.</p><p>* * *</p><p>If there was one thing that Ashton had learned in the last year of being with Luke it was that the boy really knew how to hold a grudge. As soon as Luke had stormed out of the dressing room, Ashton splashed his face with cold water and righted his clothes before following. Ashton worried that Luke was too mad to follow through with his plan that evening, but he decided that it was now or never. If he made a complete ass out of himself, so be it. He would do anything for Luke. He was totally and completely whipped for the boy.</p><p>Luke continued to shoot him glares all throughout soundcheck, and Ashton did his best to ignore them, telling himself that in a few hours Luke's current anger would be worth it. Ashton's nerves got the best of him on a few occasions, however, and he found himself off-tempo when it came to <em>Moving Along</em>.</p><p>"Dude, you need to relax, everything is going to be fine." Calum whispered as they finished up their soundcheck. They called it early as a result of Ashton missing his cue for <em>She Looks So Perfect</em>... again<em>. </em></p><p>"I know, I know, I just hate when Luke's mad at me." Ashton sighed, running a hand down his face as he got up from his drum kit.</p><p>"Trust me, he won't be mad for long. Stop worrying about it, everything is all set and ready." Calum's hand came down to clap Ashton on the shoulder. "You're not getting cold feet about this, are you?" Ashton's eyes widened and he shook his head.</p><p>"No, not at all. I just hope Luke doesn't hate me after, it's not exactly on his terms, ya'know?" Calum nodded as they walked back towards the dressing room to prepare for the show.</p><p>"Well, there's no going back now. Mike and I won't let you, so I sure hope you're ready."</p><p>"As ready as I can be."</p><p>* * *</p><p>The roaring of the crowd made the blood rush through Ashton's ears more than it usually did, and as they neared the midpoint of their setlist, his heart started to pound heavier in his chest. He knew it had nothing to do with the size of the crowd. Ashton watched out of the corner of his eye as Michael began his guitar solo in <em>Better Man</em>, and turned his head to look at Calum who gave him a wide smile and knowing wink. Ashton felt himself relax a bit at Calum's reassurance and he glanced over to watch as his boyfriend pranced across the stage, fully immersed in the music.</p><p>Ashton had always loved watching Luke on stage. The way that Luke's gold curls glowed under the colored lights mesmerized him and the concentration on his face as he worked to hit every single note was admirable. Ashton swooned like one of the teenage girls in the crowd when Luke shimmied his way out of his blue fringed jacket. He loved the way that the crowd's noise seemed to grow three times louder as he did so. The smile stretched across Luke's face and Ashton almost missed his cue as he watched Luke swipe his tongue over his plump bottom lip.</p><p>From the moment Luke walked out of the dressing room, still giving Ashton the cold shoulder, the older man knew that he would have trouble concentrating on the setlist. Luke wore a white button-down opened extremely low which revealed the fine blonde hair that dusted his chest and leaving his necklaces on full display. The tight black dress pants he wore formed to his pert ass and showed off every contour and curve of his delicious body. And the fucking <em>boots</em>. Ashton almost salivated as he watched his boyfriend bound out on stage in a pair of silver, sparkly boots.</p><p>Over the years Luke grew to be more confident off and on stage, letting himself relax and become the person he was meant to be. Ashton absolutely adored it. He loved the way that Luke was no longer afraid to strut across the stage and let the music move his body in ways that, Ashton had to admit, were not always the most graceful.</p><p>They finished off the last note of <em>Better Man</em> as Ashton reminisced, and when Calum gave him the nod he knew it was now or never. Ashton's heart pounded louder than he played his drums and he was surprised that it couldn't be heard over the screams of the fans. Without taking another second to overthink, Ashton stood from his drum kit and made his way over to Luke's piano on shaky legs. The crowd's loud cheers became an ear-shattering roar as Ashton smiled as he took a seat on the bench. </p><p>The intensity of the crowd caught Luke's attention, who was the only one who had yet to notice Ashton. He looked up from where he was tuning his guitar and furrowed his eyebrows at the scene. Confusion formed on Luke's features as he glanced at Michael and Calum to see if they had a similar reaction, but was left even more lost when he noticed both boys smiling and standing off towards the side of the stage.</p><p>"Um, Ash, what do you think you're doing?" Luke chuckled and Ashton could hear the apprehension in his voice that he tried to play off. "Last time I checked that's not the drums." The crowd groaned at Luke's bad attempt at a joke, and Ashton smiled, tapping a few keys and making the crowd go wild.</p><p>"We're going to do something a little different tonight for our next song," Ashton spoke into the microphone, but his gaze was glued to the pale blue eyes of his boyfriend as he stood center stage with a frown on his face. "I hope that's okay with all of you." The fans shrieked at a glass-shattering volume and Ashton chuckled as he sat up straighter. "This next song is very near and dear to my heart," he stared at Luke as the crowd screamed again. </p><p>"I didn't write it, but it will always be very special to me. This has got to be one of my favorite songs off of our new album." Ashton laughed as a group of fans called out <em>We love you, Ashton!</em> To which he responded a quick 'love you all too." Ashton could tell that Luke was still confused, but it wouldn't be long before he understood.</p><p>"Without further adieux," Ashton smiled, locking eyes with Luke before looking out into the shining sea of cell phone cameras that had been whipped out the moment he left his drumkit, "this is <em>If Walls Could Talk</em>"</p><p>Ashton could have sworn that the decibel level of the venue had to rival that of a large airplane as the crowd went crazy. Cameras flashed wildly as Ashton began playing the opening notes of the song he had been learning to play on the piano. Ashton chanced a glance up towards Luke as he played the slowed down, soft melodic tones of the opening verse, and he could have sworn he saw tears pooling in his eyes.</p><p>"<em>Some things are meant to be secret, and not to be heard, so if I tell you just keep it, and don't say a word..." </em>Ashton scrunched his eyes closed as the words tumbled from his lips, echoing across the venue.</p><p>"<em>yeah, when the doors are all closing, it's bound to get loud, 'cuz all these bodies are hoping to get addicted to sound..."</em></p><p><em>"Yeah," </em>Michael and Calum hit the harmonies with Ashton and the crowd seemed to go even crazier if that was possible. But just as quickly as the sound rose, it dropped back down again with whispered shushes tumbling through the crowd.</p><p><em>"Not everything is so primitive,"</em> Ashton's voice didn't have the same sultry tones that Luke did, but the soft notes of the piano blended beautifully with the delicate alto quality that his voice had.</p><p>
  <em>"Yeah," </em>
</p><p>
  <em>"But I'm giving in."</em>
</p><p><em>"If These Walls Could Talk," </em>All three boys sang the chorus together, letting their voices blend in an almost acapella like quality that had the whole venue echoing with screams. Ashton looked out over the sea of people. The spotlight made it almost impossible to see over the end of the stage, but that didn't matter to him, because all he cared about was the stunned look on Luke's face as he stood center stage with tears dripping down his flushed cheeks.</p><p>"<em>Cuz we'd fall from grace, yeah we're falling, yeah we'd fall from grace,"</em></p><p><em>"If These Walls Could Talk," </em>The song went on in this manner, Ashton's fingers gliding skillfully over the notes he had spent hours perfecting over the last three weeks. Calum and Michael joined in every so often on the chorus, allowing Ashton to take the lead on the song and leaving Luke absolutely gobsmacked. The cheering of the crowd dulled as everyone stood mesmerized by the song and the drummer leaving his heart out on the stage. The ending came around too quickly, Michael and Calum gently taking a step away from their microphones as Ashton played the final notes.</p><p>"<em>Yeah, If These Walls Could Talk..."</em> Ashton hit the final note, his voice ringing out over every inch of the venue as he pulled his hands away from the piano and let the crashing roars of the crowd engulf him like a tidal wave. The drummer stood up from the piano, a huge smile breaking out across his face as he strode over to his boyfriend who was still standing frozen in the middle of the stage.</p><p>"Ashton," Was the only thing that escaped Luke's lips. He stared at his boyfriend with eyes that sparkled bright with love, confusion and every other emotion under the sun.</p><p>"Yeah baby boy?" Ashton took a step closer to Luke. Luke glanced out at the sea of people that surrounded them and back towards the drummer.</p><p>"Wha-what are you doing?" Ashton took another step so that the tips of their toes were touching and their chests were nearly pressed up against each other.</p><p>"What I should have done a long time ago." Before Luke had time to respond, Ashton grasped the younger boy's face between his warm hands and connected their lips into a kiss that, he hoped, conveyed the rush of love and passion he felt in that moment. The kiss was sloppy, a clash of teeth and tongue and biting flesh, but Ashton wouldn't have it any other way. </p><p>The buzzing of the crowd and the flashing of cameras seemed to melt away as Ashton grasped at Luke's curls, keeping the singer close as he attempted to prove just how important he truly was to Ashton. Ashton could feel Luke's lips tremble against his own and taste his salty tears drip between them, but he paid it no mind. He embraced his boyfriend, kissing him as if he would never get the chance again, like he would forget what the younger boy tasted like if he let go too soon.</p><p>What felt like an eternity later, Ashton pulled away from the messy kiss, leaning his forehead against Luke's and closing his eyes.</p><p>"I love you Luke Hemmings. I love you and I want the world to know just how much I love you. I don't know what I ever did to deserve your love, but I won't question it, because you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I need everyone to know that. I was an idiot for waiting this long to let the world know."</p><p>"You are an idiot," Luke hiccuped through his sobs of, Ashton hoped, happiness. The drummer chuckled, wiping the pads of his thumbs under each of Luke's stormy blue eyes to catch the free-falling tears, "but you're my idiot. And I fucking love you, Ashton Irwin." Luke connected their lips into another salty kiss, and Ashton couldn't help but laugh against Luke's mouth as a chant of "<em>Lashton! Lashton! Lashton!" </em>was heard making its way through the crowd. The cheer eventually found Calum and Michael on the side of the stage and the boys didn't hesitate to join in, getting the whole venue chanting.</p><p>"well now," Ashton sighed, intertwining his fingers with those of his boyfriend as he turned to gaze out over the audience, "you ready to take on the world together?" Ashton felt Luke squeeze his hand as the younger boy turned to look out over the flashing lights and hysterical fans. He looked over at Ashton, a peaceful smile glowing on his face. </p><p>"with you? Always."</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>THE END. </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading my first lashton fic! If you enjoyed it, please check out my other 5sos stories!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>